Claire in Motion

The premise of the film was viable. The filming, directing, and the acting were well below average. Yet another production, touted as a mystery, with no resolution. Apparently, for many people, this passes for art.

do not watch this film. I wish there was a way of given it no stars because if there ever was a zero star film this is it. It starts off slow and keeps going until the end when nothing happens. Got to be the worst film ever made, and I have watched some poor films in my time but this stands head and shoulders above them all. Just think of the worst film you have ever watched that is like a mole hill this is mount Everest that will be the gap between them. This the first time I have reviewed a film. But I feel I had to write something so if only one person reads this and does not watch it I have done my good deed for the year. The plot was so poor and the directing that it was so hard to write 10 lines about this film.

If you are watching this movie hoping it is a mystery about what happened to the missing husband, you will be disappointed.

But you must shift your perspective. The missing husband is merely a catalyst. The movie is, in fact, about a mathematician who is forced to confront the inexplicable. She is forced to operate within a life equation for which there is no solution. She is also forced to confront emotions which she struggles to keep in careful control. What happens to her when she can't fit everything into a careful box? What happens when she realizes she was missing a lot of information about her carefully constructed world? How does she respond?

If you watch THAT story, there is a very complete arc with a very satisfying ending.

This movie starts slow, ends slow and never picks up in between. The story is shallow and there is not one question answered. I would have turned it off but I had to see what happened. I still don't know what happened. What a waste of my time. I can't believe anyone wasted money on this.

First off, the reason so many people hate this movie isn't because it doesn't end with a neat little bow, whatever that means.

It's because nobody in this movie acts like a real person.

Claire, the main character leaves her middle school or late-elementary school aged son by himself 80% of the time after her husband, his father has disappeared. Did she ever once think that he might just run away? I mean, that'd be pretty emotionally distressing, right? But thank God the script dictates that he doesn't run away, so it's fine.

The girl who can laughingly be called the antagonist is a complete cliché. I can't tell you how many times I've seen the young mistress type in a movie or television show. They always have one distinguishing characteristic, but she's got two - and both are stupid. One is that she's an art student. Her "art" is literally light fixtures that look like they were bought at Pottery Barn, and piles of sticks. Her other distinguishing characteristic is that she thinks she knows what's best for Claire and her husband - yet another motivational cliché typical of awful writing.

I saw "Rings" the other day, and I have to say, the only thing "Claire in Motion" has over "Rings" is that its lead actress gives a slightly better performance. Slightly.

When you're worse than "Rings," you're one of the worst films ever made. I think that's my new bar. There's "Rings," and then there's "Claire in Motion," and then... I'm not sure how you can get worse than that. Maybe "After Last Season" is technically worse, but not by much.