Transformers: Rise of the Beasts

Well, after I left the theater I felt somehow lobotomized, numb and dead like a rock (well, maybe I'm wrong and stones are more alive than I realize). Transformers: Rise of the Beasts is one of those many examples that raise one question: where are the talents and the creative people these days? Certainly not too many are involved in the movie business - Rise of the Beasts got nothing that will raise it above the bar of barely acceptable: a dead boring story line, dead boring characters, and terrible dialogues we listened to one million times before. The special effects are somewhat okay, but, well, that's pretty standard these days. Recommendation only for the absolute hardcore fan of the Transformer universe or for those who are - for whatever reason - in need for some brain killing experience.

First, I have really enjoyed a number of the Transformers movies despite the usual criticisms. They were, generally, fun, well thought out intl terms of action scenes and had a few key actors to give them a little more appeal. This one seems to have the casting and script all wrong. The supposed academic is barely able to string a sentence together and is wholly unconvincing as someone who could work out how to get out of the bathroom let alone anything else (also the actress is dire but hardly the point). The main actor is uninspiring and deals with the awful script with seeming boredom (I doubt it is genuine boredom as this is presumably his big break) and the cutesy nod to the 90s for the transformers themselves seems, well, meh? Overall, boring, badly acted, shocking casting and a sad epitaph.

After the success of 'Bumblebee' I was hoping that this instalment might offer a more rewarding viewing experience than the previous cash grab Transformers outings, but I was sorely mistaken. It is unfortunately a rather drab affair.

Within about 5 minutes every cliche possible is ticked off the list. The dialogue is grating and so corny it hurts. The action is messy and disorienting. The newly introduced 'Maximals' are severely wasted with limited screen time. The plot centres around a silly doohickey that is hard to care about. The human characters are kind of annoying and poorly written. None of the humour really lands and neither do any of the emotional story beats. The story sags a little in the middle. I could go on.

Saying all that, this film is mildly entertaining and does have its moments, although they are too few and far between. I guess it's worth watching if you are into your Transformers films, but the casual movie goer should probably save their money and skip this one.

Well, it's about robots from outer space so just turn your brain off for maximum enjoyment. If you told me the script was AI-generated, I'd believe it.

But is it entertaining? Depends on your definition. If you want to see robots and humans hunting MacGuffins, clashing and brawling for their respective fates, painfully cringe dialog and jokes, and a predictable plot? Then yes, it's entertaining.

I'm a sucker for 90s hip-hop, so hearing Tribe and Wu-Tang was a pleasant surprise. I also appreciate the dynamic lighting and how the robots are integrated into their environments. They don't stick out too much or look odd.

Until they talk. Then most of the immersion goes right out the window. Nearly every robot-spoken word is delivered with the gusto of the movie trailer voiceover guy bellowing cliches like ancient creeds.

And yet, as the 3rd act progressed I found myself starting to be won over, almost like a case of Stockholm Syndrome. Maybe because I stopped thinking about it. Maybe the movie itself became a visual lobotomy.

I almost want to recommend this. Not because it's good, but because it's bad in ways that are endearing and sort of fun.

"Transformers: Rise of the Beasts" is the new movie based on the Takara toys that Hasbro exploited and have been brought to television, movies and comics. In this new film, the result is kind of almost bad, a soulless and simple script that could have been told in 90 minutes and not in an excessive length of 127 minutes that become slow. The performances are ordinary and the director's work does not stand out. The production is not used, the soundtrack has no essence and the cinematography is quite conventional. The biggest negative point is the costume design and the setting, since the film takes place during 1994 and fails to take us to that year, with the exception of some retro objects and extras that wear 90s costumes, the protagonists really look very 2020's. Another flaw is the digital special effects that fail to be entirely realistic, the green screen and After Effects giving themselves away for much of the length of the film. A totally forgettable production.