Manos Returns

Watched this last night finally. They tried way too hard to replicate everything that gave the original its charm. Everything bad felt way too forced, like they were aiming for it to be bad. The original was a guy who wanted to make a movie but ended up bombing in every way. This one is just boring and it feels more like a Sharknado sequel.

This is one of of those films, like the second BirdDemic, that knows that the reason the first film got any acclaim was because of how unintentionally bad it was. Where the first film got a cult following because it was bad, but you know the director was trying the first time, but just delivered something terrible, but so funny it found a cult following. This film tries to be bad/funny and doesn't succeed. Because it tries. It tries to be bad and funny and incoherent. That isn't what made the original the cult film what it is. Being aware of the terribleness is cool. Trying to replicate that into a purposefully funny and bad film will not get you that acclaim again in anyway. It just delivers a boring slog of a retread without any self awareness or humor. The more it tries to replicate and bring humor to it, the worse it got. It would have been better if it found a way to play the original plot totally straight and treated this like a real horror sequel. The comedy would have come from that. Treat this like a real sequel to a 'real' horror film and give us some horror. The comedy would have written itself by just doing that, and the horror moments would have hit hard. Instead it's just a bad attempt to make a bad movie to capitalize on the cult following of the original. It could have been something, but the f'd it up.

There is a reason why the original Manos is loved by so many people: it's so bad it's fun. The original Manos is a movie by a man who tried his best to make a good movie, but had zero talent, and, thus, failed miserably. This is something that cannot be copied, or intentionally made. So, any remake of or sequel to such a movie will not have the same charm and appeal as the original. The original Manos is bad, yet never boring. It's VERY entertaining, because, in sheer disbelief, the viewer wonders how on Earth it's possible that a movie ends up becoming that bad! There is something cute about that. The original Manos really is an unintentional piece of art! Not so with Manos Returns. It's just plain bad, that is, boring. I praise the effort of these people for trying to, somehow, revive Manos. Maybe it's a tribute. I feel a bit sorry that I am writing a negative review, but I'm just being honest. I think some things should be left untouched. Manos the Hands of Fate is one of them.

This movie put me to sleep in a matter of minutes. The plot is bland and the same as the first Manos, the writing is below mediocre and the acting is terrible. The movie cuts are slow and boring and half the characters seem just as clueless as the writers. I will admit however, this one was better than the first which isn't saying much. What the writer's main goal here is beyond me but I will say this: if your value your time do not waste it on this movie.

This is one of the "self aware" movies that tries to come across as "tongue-in-cheek" as a nod to the source material. Beyond callbacks to the original, this movie does not provide much. Shout out to the late Tom Neyman.