Apocalypse Rising

Terrible,, cheese monkey,,, you know when you've been tango'ed. Whaaaaaa. it's a slap to the face and the big fellea runs off down the street. Takeing your sanity with him as you wounder why the hell did I even press play....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..

You know how some movies are so bad that they are good? This movie was so bad that it gave me diarrhea

Really, you will thank me for it. At the beginning of the movie I was expecting the opening scene to zoom out to a cinema audience watching an awful movie but I realised that I was that audience watching that awful movie.

I had to stop watching.

When I wrote this; the genres were still not defined on IMDB (under the title, as usual), so I guess that you will be more guided than me. But, though being caught "off guard", I immediately adapted and tried to enjoy. Unlike another lame zombie-apocalypse crash, for me it was much more - too interesting and rich in many 'max-mad' aspects. In short: eclectic modern and extreme parody. I believe actually beneath driven by real current extreme religious, political, radical and other global discords. It was loaded with strong comedy elements wrangling around from the very beginning. It scratched a loads of popular elements of Sci-Fi and Fantasy genres (in more then simple and funny context, given a quite crazy story) like: apocalypse, zombies, 'mythical' heroes/warriors (inter-stellar and tattooed, please), secret cryptic passages, puzzles, The Chosen-Ones, occultism, so forth so on. All mixed to the extreme! So, the script is a piece of work, giving here a credit to the author. Funny but (quite!) sick business it all is... It gave me a nice laughing on regular basis, going to the campy (literally intentional "too-much") extremes from "fierce / in-depth" story-lunacy to vicious character-ignited humor and more-then-morbid moments. I'm serious here: there are "too-much" (as simply put above, just: Sick) moments, so 18+ is suggested, 'cause there's more then freakish rock & you-know-what elements.

I mainly wrote this because my first thought after watching this glorious mess was that whether or not it was trying to be ironically terrible, it was still better than Fox's last Fantastic Four movie - I would rather have given someone that $20 to kick me in the groin repeatedly with a boot covered in syphilis riddled rusted razor blades than to the theatre I paid to take in that steaming pile. I gave this a 2 because it provided mild amusement that I loathe myself for. I couldn't tell if this knew it was horri-awful, and was going for that, but it certainly was, and definitely got there, intentionally or not. I think this would be a real beauty on a night where you look to set a personal best in edible dosage.