Emeryville

My quick rating - 0,7/10. The idea was alright, at best. But this is one of the worst movies I have seen in a long time. As a rule for IMDb I typically give no weight to a movies score until over 500 people have voted. That tends to give all the cast and crew members time to get their 10/10 nonsense scores in. But this movie has taken abusing this system to a whole new level. Currently as of writing this, 2,319 votes and a 6.0/10. There is no possible way a movie with the worst acting documented, ever along with dialogue that was scripted by a complete moron just to insult the actors/actresses even further. No wonder the acting was so bad, they probably read the lines for a scene in disbelief. The camera work may have been done by a partially blind person since I tend to occasionally like to see the person speaking the lines as opposed to random shots of who knows what. The sound editing is just bizarre leading to normal ambient sounds being louder than a bass drum for no apparent reason and then a spot with some tension? Naw, don't amplify that whatsoever. All of this, and I haven't even started nitpicking this horrid display of film making (or boredom with a budget as I am calling this). I would suggest other movies that use a similar idea to the "forgotten village/town" type of flick, but I don't want to insult any other film by comparing this. If you make it to the end, don't expect a nice wrap up since even with the idea presented, they couldn't get an ending right as well. Enjoy the outtakes during the credits since you get to see the actors look just as stiff as they are in the movie, so maybe the crew somehow found the most personality lacking people in town and cast each and every one of them. This hour and 22 minutes is seriously lost and I feel I am now a lesser film critic (not paid, but still) just for it.

Let me start by saying *please* do not watch this poor excuse for a movie. As clichéd as it sounds, you genuinely will want that hour and a half of your life back. I actually had to write a review for the first time just to warn others.

To say this film is bad, is an insult to bad; absolutely everything about this 'production' sucks to the nth degree. The story is a mish-mash of utter nonsense. The acting is actually worse than anything that's come from the Asylum guys, and that's some mean feat. And then there's the camera work - it looks like it was filmed by a blind one armed man on a poor quality JVC camera from the 80's. No concept of framing, and on more than one occasion, foreground scenery completely obscures the actor that's talking.

I think the continuity guy must have been hungover during the night scene in the cabin, as the curtains appeared to be letting in daylight. Foley work is just as bad, with outright strange noises used for everyday things. Like, WTF???

About half way in, I thought this might be so bad that it's good, but that feeling passed. Very quickly. The annoying this is, the premise is really good, but unfortunately the execution is dire.

Please, please for the sake of all that is good and holy, keep away from this. It literally is cinematic diarrhoea.

The acting and script are so BAD I literally lasted 10-15 minutes before shutting it off.

It's literally unwatchable.

I've seriously seen better work from High School video projects, probably even Middle School.

I only tried to watch this because of the super high review score, especially for the horror genre, that rarely scores over a 4-5 here.

Someone involved in this joke of a movie must have made hundreds of fake accounts to pump up the score. Every real review on this page now agrees with me.

I mean, when I say the script is bad, you have no idea. It doesn't even make sense. Who talks like that? Who says things like that? I mean, it's utterly AWFUL. The reactions to situations that the "actors" make are so ridiculous, they're not even funny. They're so dumb, you can't even laugh at it. It's THAT bad.

1 Star is even too much, should be zero stars! This movie is worse then "Plan 9 from Outer Space"! Don't watch this crab, it's a waste of time except you like to see how low movies can go. It's really the worst movie if ever seen so far. I can't understand why there are reviews with more than one star, probably corrupted critics. The movie should be a "ramake of the 80s"? But, as said, there's no movie so bad as this one, let me know if you know a bigger crab than this. I'm really curious about what could be worse! I watched the movie till the end, this movie is so bad you have to have seen it! This tomato is more than rotten! Let me know what you think about it!

So when did fake reviews become a 'thing'?

In the last two weeks we have seen films that had NO business being in theaters because we simply looked at the score. Trust me when I tell you that you can't do this anymore. READ the reviews, and you will easily see which are FAKE.

First of all, any film that you haven't heard of previously with a 9 or 10 star rating from anyone should put you on-guard. (That's not to say that a 9 or 10-star rating alone is a clear indication of funny business). Secondly, if, as many of the 9 and 10 star reviewers here have done, the reviewer starts extolling the virtues of those involved in the film, by name (i.e., director Miles Doleac is fantastic and has brought his great vision to the screen!) it might be a sign the the reviewer is a shill. One person here talks about how the people involved in making this movie used all their money to do so. Well, I don't mean to be a witch, but what does that have to do with it being a good movie? While I feel badly for the creator for having sunk their life's savings into it, why would that make me or anyone else LIE and say it is good, when it is not? Third, the old closing of: "Watch it!", "Enjoy it!", "Get it on Amazon" ... should immediately raise a red flag, "Don't wait, you need to see it now", "Don't listen to others, listen to ME (or variations) are always dead giveaways. (Several 9 and 10-star reviews here have all of these).

Unfortunately, it seems that we live in an age where people seem to have a very low moral code and don't hesitate to lie at the drop of a hat and where anything (including integrity) can be purchased for pennies for the sake of the mighty dollar.

This movie is CRAP. I can't tell you if the ending redeemed it, because I could not get that far, but what I saw of it is enough to base my opinion on. To those that say, well how do you know if you didn't watch the end, you don't need to scoop out the contents of a diaper to know it is full of poop, and yes, I did, unfortunately, sit through enough of it to know. It is just BAD.

Anyway, if you want to take my word for it, you're welcome. If not, and you choose to watch it, don't say you weren't forewarned.