Restoration

I must say that I usually tend to be a bit hesitant about a movie where the guy who wrote the script also directs and stars in the movie himself or herself, which turned out to be the case with "Restoration" at the hands of Zack Ward.

Reading the synopsis for the movie, however, did win me over enough to make me actually pick up the movie and give it a go. And having a nice looking DVD cover also was a selling point for the movie.

One thing that I did like about "Restoration" was the cast, because it was all unfamiliar actors and actresses to me, aside from Zack Ward. And I do enjoy watching talents that I haven't seen before, as they are not Associated with previously portrayed characters and roles.

"Restoration" is an unfathomably slow paced movie, and 21 minutes into the movie I was more than tempted to give up and find something else to watch, because there had been very little happening, and the characters were just so mundane and faceless that I didn't care one bit about them, nor could I differentiate between them. They could essentially have been played by one and the same actor or actress.

There seem to be very little meat on the body in terms of storyline and plot here, and after 40 minutes of enduring nothing happening, I still was waiting for a coherent and clearly painted out storyline.

You actually find yourself frequently checking the time to see how much time has progressed, and I must admit that I gave up on the movie just shortly after 40 minutes of pure boredom. This movie was so slow paced that it was almost torture to sit through.

I have no plans or intention of returning to "Restoration" to finish watching it, because there was nothing, and I do mean that literally, nothing to keep me entertained or wanting to see what would befall the generic characters in the movie.

I found the movie not very engaging and hard to get into. Things happened but it just felt like they did to move the plot forward. The acting in this movie was dry and it felt like a b-flick movie. The story was what it was and whatever it was about by the time it was over I didn't care much for it. The women in this movie are pretty and I guess that's a plus... just not enough of a plus to actually watch this movie from start to finish. I felt like it could of been done better but the way it was executed felt very low budget and just straight forward that didn't give you much of a reason to guess about anything or try to solve the mystery. It just kind of fast forwards itself to the end in a way. Would I watch this again? No. would I recommend it to anyone? No. I just can't think of anything that's really good about this movie. It's not terrible... it's not bad...it's just not all that interesting.

There's a very good reason why there are Robbie Williams CDs in most charity shops - it's the same reason that a film like The Haunted (AKA Restoration) can also be found on the same shelves: they're absolute rubbish! I picked up The Haunted as part of a '3 for a pound' deal, and still feel cheated.

Written by, directed by, and starring Zack Ward, there's clearly one person we can blame for this godawful film: hang your head in shame Mr. Ward, for your supernatural horror is a failure on almost every level - it's not scary, it's full of clichés, and is instantly forgettable (I'm writing this review a day later and am struggling to remember what the film is about).

From what I can recall, the plot revolves around a married couple who move into a new house that requires remodelling; while wife Rebecca, a doctor, is at work saving lives, hubby Todd (Adrian Gaeta) gets to work knocking down walls, when he finds an old teddy bear hidden in a cavity. During a bear fight with his wife (!), the couple discover something hidden inside the stuffed toy: a diary belonging to a young girl, the contents of which lead them to try and solve a murder. What happens next is a little hazy, the dull nature of the plot and pedestrian direction leaving me struggling to stay awake till the end.

3/10. Only marginally more entertaining than a Robbie Williams CD.

Do yourselves a favour and give this a miss! The acting between the main couple is ludicrous. Even though she is a Doctor working long hours and under stress and he is apparently renovating their house, they are just too lovey dovey all of the time, especially the husband. The fun teddy bear fight like a couple of teenagers is laughable - even though the previous owner left over 400 teddy bears behind, they happen to throw the one teddy bear that contained the 'secret' diary - that was lucky wasn't it? When she finds out she's pregnant, the husband goes for a slash in the bathroom and finds the pregnancy kit - he comes out and throws a wobbly because she hadn't told him - she only found out herself 2 minutes ago! After reading the diary and doing some investigative work, they have to go to a loony bin to speak to some loony woman, who after all these years is still alive and luckily living in the local loony bin - another lucky stroke of luck. The Doctor woman tells some cock & bull story to get access to see her and is told to bring her credentials and paperwork with her. When she gets there, with her husband in tow, she is asked for her credentials before she can get in. After seeing her credentials, they are given 2 guest passes - one for her and one for Bob the friggin builder - how and why did they let him in? When they get inside to see this loony woman, the big beefy security guy says 'I'll be outside the door'. The loony woman is saying nothing, so Bob the builder decides to berate her and tells her what he thinks of her - quite loudly. Does the beefy bouncer hear this and coming running in to see what's going on - not a chance, he actually waits until she starts to cry and then he's in like a shot! I only gave it 2 stars because of creepy neighbour Zack.

Except the fact that it had nothing original whatsoever, it managed to act exactly like those before it, a plot that revealed itself far too soon and acting that could have been better.

As this movie progresses, it sure makes a lot of mistakes, and absolutely all of them have been seen before. Many times even. So this is a B horror that copies some A ones and a lot of other such B productions, for the sake of what? I doubt it will gross it's budget back. It brings nothing new to the table.

But sure, people want to make movies, they have to start somewhere, although it seems they are walking in other people's shoes and hope for the same destination. Hard to imagine this will work.

Cheers!