Andròn: Le Labyrinthe Noir

I don't know if this is the absolute worst movie that I've ever seen but it is certainly a contender. Believe me, it's not a movie that's so bad that it's good . . it's just BAD.

It's a vampire that sucks up an hour and forty minutes of your time that could have been spent on something more entertaining, like hammering No.2 pencils into your corneas.

This movie does not suspend disbelief, it celebrates it. My impression was that everyone involved just wanted to get the thing in the "done" column so they could go do something (anything) else.

It seems that no effort was spent on trying to immerse the viewer so it was torture seeing it through to the end as a detached observer rather than being drawn in to a subjective, personal experience. They just didn't make me care a bit about any of the characters', it would have been more interesting and more dramatic watching insects fly around one of those bug zappers.

The only award this stinker deserves is a felony conviction for impersonating entertainment.

Baldwin and Glover only had cameos. (Thankfully, as both of them suck) Any more than that and it would rate a ZERO! (I wish that rating was an option on IMDb)

That's all I have, but I MUST type 10 lines... so here are the remaining lines.

This movie really sucks.

This movie will take away time from your life that you will never be able to get back.

Why does IMDb force us to write more than is necessary?

My first 2 sentences were sufficient to make my point.

This line is completely pointless and unnecessary.

This movie is SO bad, that it needs to get some kind of recognition with at least a short review. In my life I've seen many, many bad movies, but believe me, even in the worst cases I would always find a reason to finish it...maybe a bit of curiosity, or just to see HOW low it could go, or by just telling myself that if I had already wasted one hour of my life, why not making it one and a half and see if there was a remote chance it got (dare I say it?) 'better'? But this one was just too much, I stopped it 40 minutes in and never turned back. For some reason, I had not checked IMDb's ratings before, but I certainly did after, and it's funny to realize that I have now spent more time on the film's page on IMDb than watching the movie itself. Yes, it's THAT bad.

I'm sure I won't be the only person asking the question whether Alec Baldwin and Danny Glover really needed a paycheck that badly to be in this catastrophe of a movie? After selecting it from Redbox, I came home and saw the 2.8 rating on IMDb and knew I was in big trouble.

I could go on and on writing how on so many levels this film is abysmal. Let's just say I found the "plot" to be a convoluted mess, the emotionless acting left me uncaring about any of the characters, and I would have turned it off much earlier but I stuck it out, I imagine, to write this review.

All in all, just a very painful hour and a half.

Ten people awake in a maze that's really crappy looking, with no memory of who they are and only one of them is allowed to get out of the maze alive.

The game concept works. Each player has a symbol tattooed on their neck that matches a symbol on a wall to get a cool weapon. Most players got simple guns while other got some really cool stuff straight out of a video game (like one guy got a really cool Mega Man like weapon). Once in a while they battle androids robots that look like ninjas, as well as fighting each other until their numbers dwindled down.

As a film the story was just too weak to care about anything that's going on.

Alec Baldwin appears in the movie. His character is pointless and seems to be created just to have Alec Baldwin in your movie in hopes that his star power will fill seats. The same goes with Danny Glover's cameo like role in the movie.

I actually went to see the movie because Leo Howard was in it. I'm aware of the young actor from his marshal arts driven Disney TV show, Kickin it. The movie does have him do some kicks and punches but not enough to salvage the flick.

But really, Andron has a bad story arc and messes up the game they play and leaves you with nothing overall.