Roadkill

This cinematic masterpiece was clearly crafted by a visionary who simply couldn't be bothered with film school. The plot twists were so unexpected, they left me wondering if I accidentally stumbled into an abstract art exhibit. The acting? Let's just say they delivered their lines with all the passion of a room temperature napkin.

Truly, cinema has peaked. Forget B-movies, this is a ZZZ-movie. I can only imagine the director, cackling maniacally as they unleashed this cinematic atrocity upon the world. But hey, at least it wasn't that long. A small consolation prize for the two hours of my life I'll never get back.

I gave this a 2 rating and even that was being generous. The one single thing going for it is that it has a hot actress. That's it. That's all. But she can't act.

The story is terrible. It is terribly shot. I don't even think the movie was coloured. I have a thing for low budget independent movies. I will rate them higher than I would if I can tell there was effort put into it. This one, that doesn't apply. It reminds me of a movie shot by a group of high school students.

I have it a shot and didn't shut it off, watching the whole thing. But it didn't get better. It just got worse. 90 minutes I'll never get back.

When I stumbled upon this 2024 movie titled "Roadkill", I had never even heard about it. Not that it really mattered, because I do believe in giving any movie I haven't already seen a fair chance, and thus I sat down to watch what writer and director Warren Fast had to offer.

The narrative in "Roadkill" is rather slow and monotonous, and without a whole lot of anything really interesting going on, then it was somewhat of a struggle to sit through what Warren Fast had put together. Warren Fast did attempt to spruce things up a couple of times throughout the narrative, but the efforts were sluggish and half-hearted, which ultimately didn't play out all that well on the screen. For example, the high speed chase scene, which had zero adrenaline to it and didn't feel thrilling or exciting at all.

I wasn't familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list in "Roadkill", aside from actress Danielle Harris. However, the acting performances in the movie were actually fair, and Caitlin Carmichael (playing The Driver) and Ryan Knudson (playing The Hitchhiker) actually did carry the movie quite well.

While I did manage to sit through the entire 90 minutes that the movie ran for, this movie is hardly something I would recommend you to rush out and get a chance to watch. I am sure that there might be something worthwhile in the movie for fans of anyone on the cast list, but for a casual viewer then "Roadkill" was a pretty stale viewing experience.

"Roadkill" came and went without leaving a lasting impression on me. And I am pretty sure that before the end of the week, the movie will have been swallowed up by the mists of oblivion and gone from my memory.

I suppose the title of the movie can actually also be used to describe the overall impression of the movie itself.

My rating of "Roadkill" lands on a very generous four out of ten stars.

The hitch hiker who seemed to be crossed with Keanu Reeves and Russel Brand looked like he'd had a charisma bypass in this terrible and poorly directed flick. Not only could he not act to save his life, he couldn't even interact visually with the rest of the cast.

The rest of the cast were minutely better. The girl driver's roll seamed to be that she was trying to set a world record of sucking lolly pops and getting the wooden hitch hiker to remember his lines.

The rest of this hideous cast were archetypal rednecks, drawling their speech throughout this tin pot flick. If you can't act then don't make a movie !

I'd sooner give it 3 out of 567 billion. The dead turtle who she avoided on the road was the best actor in this awful flick. I can't reveal any spoilers cause there weren't anything to spoil.

I think that 5 is the right score for this movie. It reminds me of late night B movies from the 90s. You don't go into it expecting life changing performances and deep commentary. It's just fun, mindless entertainment to enjoy some popcorn with.

The big negative I will give it is the horrendous dialogue. I almost hope that the screenwriter intentionally wrote the dialogue as they did in order to simulate the B movie, made for tv style that the film was obviously going for, because the actors certainly did not have much to work with. People don't talk like that.

I will also say that in the era of streaming services where you have unlimited options for something to throw on when you're bored, you probably have better options. Still, I found it fun and enjoyable and I'm glad I watched it even though I probably will never watch it again. As a child of the 80s, it gave me a bit of nostalgia, some eye candy and a fun 90 minutes of sex appeal, drugs and violence.

If you're in the mood for that type of flick then give it a watch. If you're looking for better dialogue and something that doesn't try to feel like a budget, made for tv movie from the early 90s then you want to pass.