Citations

Did you know that pumpkins are the only living organisms with triangle eyes?

Did you know that rhinoceroses are just big, fat, white trash unicorns?

Did you know that you can't throw away a garbage can?

Did you know that elbow meat is the exact same texture as an 86 year old woman's nipple?

Did you know that KFC is just one letter away from being one of the rudest words in the English language?

I improvise a lot, that's kind of my thing. So we'll do three or four takes the way it's written, then I let the barn doors open, and I kind of rewrite every scene on the fly..I always improvise with the crowd. Sometimes it will be a 50 percent show, sometimes 70 percent, sometimes it's almost a whole show where I wing it. It depends on my mood, the energy in the room. For sure, a portion of it is just kind of winging it.

[on celebrity roasts] I've kind of stayed away from them. They're a little too mean-spirited for my tastes. I find them a bit insincere. Most of those people don't know each other. If you're going to take a jab at someone, you should at least have a bit more of a personal relationship with them. I feel like you can be funny and clever, as opposed to just outright vile.

It was such a pleasure to work with Eugene Levy. What a treat. That's a guy I grew up watching as a kid. Guys like that, they were hilarious and didn't have to be super vile or X-rated.

[on occasional moments of inspiration] I was walking around bored one day and I started filming stuff with my cellphone. There are all these shows where people are trying to do these outrageous stunts, and I thought it would be funny to do all these stunts that aren't outrageous, but then act like they are.. Again I was just bored one day, and it popped into my head, the idea of some guy thanking a robot. It made me laugh.