Anaconda

This new version of Anaconda is sold as a horror comedy meant to make us laugh while also fearing its iconic villain, the giant snake. The truth is that the film isn't a complete disaster, but it falls well short of what it promises.

Anaconda starts on the wrong foot. Daniela Melchior, a Portuguese actress I genuinely like, is cast as a Brazilian character, complete with an accent that caused more secondhand embarrassment than immersion. It makes you wonder if Brazilian actors are so rare that the production simply gave up looking. It's a baffling decision that feels lazy and poorly thought out.

Narratively, the film takes far too long to get going. A large portion of the runtime is spent debating whether the characters will film a remake of Anaconda in the Amazon. We already know they will. That's the premise. All this buildup is pointless and exhausting, and at least half of it could have been cut without harming the film. Only when the story finally reaches the Amazon does it gain a bit of momentum.

Even then, the scenes with the Anaconda, which should be the film's main attraction, are rarely tense. The mix of comedy and horror barely works. The humor fires in every direction, occasionally landing a decent joke, but often slipping into pure cringe. Tension is almost nonexistent, with the film constantly choosing to play it safe instead of taking risks.

The cast is one of the film's strongest elements. Paul Rudd, Jack Black, and Steve Zahn manage to carry much of the movie with their charisma and fun performances, making it more watchable even when the material lets them down.

Overall, Anaconda suffers from a dragged-out beginning and a lack of impact, tension, and a clear identity. Still, it's not a bad film. It works as a light comedy, includes a few fun nods to the original, and even leaves the door open for a sequel.

This is very much a "lazy Sunday afternoon" movie, best watched with low expectations and on streaming rather than in theaters. If this movie were a snake, it would hiss a lot... but rarely bite.

I suppose I should say at the outset of the review that Anaconda (2025) was intentionally a low-brow, silly film with no aspirations beyond that from the get-go. As such, in a way the flick is to a degree review-proof in terms of a critical assessment. I mean, the whole premise of it is ridiculous, so pointing out plot holes, leaps in logic and the like is sort of futile.

As a movie, Anaconda (2025) is at more than a few times confused as to what kind of film it was trying to be. There's a secondary, supposedly serious subplot involving gold poachers that was woven into the main storyline which I found more distracting than anything else. I found the main plot involving the four lifetime friends now in middle age trying to recapture the failed dreams of their teenage years was a decent-enough premise.

I would agree with other reviewers that as a viewer thinking too heavily about what you are seeing when you watch Anaconda (2025) undoubtedly inhibits enjoying it, so definitely turn your brain off and laugh as one reviewer wisely said.

Even with all that, for myself I didn't find the laughs exactly coming at me hard and fast, comedy being subjective. Part of that may have to do with going way back never having quite purchased a ticket on the Jack Black train in terms of my perception of his comedic ability, and Anaconda (2025) has a LOT of Jack Black front and center. Another part of that may have to do with the many jarring tonal shifts Anaconda (2025) takes throughout, trying to be this sort of wistful, sweet, silly yet at times serious, scary, thrilling Comedy/Action/Adventure hybrid. Anaconda (2025) really doesn't pull this blending of elements off particularly well.

However, I will also say that there were several scenes that did make me laugh out loud and a few sudden scare shots that made me jump. None of which were gut-bustingly funny or on-the-edge-of-my-seat thrilling, but effective enough. In truth, I hadn't wanted to see this flick and as such went into it with very low expectations. By all the criterion I listed above, Anaconda (2025) basically made it over the lowered bar. I saw it yesterday, so I figured I'd write this review today because doubtless come tomorrow I won't even remember having seen it, such is the disposable nature of it. It is what it is and overall a semi-decent one of those.

Anaconda (2025) may have left me a bit disappointed overall, but it still delivers enough dumb fun thanks to Jack Black and Paul Rudd to make it at least somewhat worthwhile.

This movie's been on my radar since the first teaser dropped. I'm a big fan of Jack Black and the high energy he brings to the projects he's in, and Paul Rudd has always been an actor I've enjoyed in movies.

That said, I went in with reasonable expectations for this movie and 50% of the time I got what I was looking for, and 50% of the time I was left wanting more of what was marketed.

The premise itself is actually pretty fun. Jack Black's Doug and Paul Rudd's Griff are trying to fulfill their childhood dreams by making an Anaconda reboot deep in the jungles of Brazil, until a giant anaconda shows up and turns their movie into a reality. On paper, that's a great hook and when the film actually leans into this idea, it works. The first act does a solid job setting up the characters, the story, and the tone, which honestly made me optimistic going forward.

Unfortunately, the movie starts to lose itself in a messy second act that focuses heavily on a completely unnecessary subplot that goes absolutely nowhere. This detour pulls attention away from the actual selling points and leads to some poorly written explanations as for why these events are unfolding in this story and nothing burger twists. By the time the third act rolls around, the movie goes fully over the top, but this is also where it becomes the most entertaining. It leans into that so bad it's good energy I was expecting and delivers some genuinely fun moments that properly utilize the actual anaconda and the interactions it has with our man crew.

With that said, plot wise there's definitely a lot of wasted potential here. With a tighter structure and a stronger focus on its core ideas, this could've been way better. Still, it manages to deliver some entertaining scenes and even sneaks in a decent message, all while having fun with its parody elements.

Where the movie really gains its footing is in the performances. Jack Black and Paul Rudd are clearly having a blast, and that enthusiasm is what carries the film. When the movie actually commits to its premise watching these two compliment each other in increasingly ridiculous situations is easily the highlight. Steve Zahn is also pretty funny here, with some laugh out loud moments.

Overall, this meta reboot of Anaconda has plenty of shortcomings, no question. But thanks to its cast, it ends up being more fun-bad than just flat-out bad.

I have an affinity for movies set in exotic locations. I have no interest in going anywhere near the Amazon Rainforest at any stage in my life, so I enjoy it vicariously through film. I wasn't really sure what to expect from 'Anaconda', and even though it was a little messy and needed to correct the ship a few times, it found its way to being a pretty entertaining 99 minutes.

The cast make this movie almost impossible to hate. Four of the most likable people working today, all playing great characters that suit them perfectly. It really is the spine that holds the movie together, even when it's threatening to fall off the rails.

The plot is so-so. I get that you need a reason for these normal people to venture out to the Amazon, and it works in that sense, but it doesn't lead to as much fun as you'd hope. I also could've done without the side-story involving the criminals. It dragged the film down a bit and didn't add much.

The actual horror involving the snake was interesting. If the director was asked on a scale of 1-10 how aggressive he wanted it to be, he definitely said 15. Also the jump scares are extremely loud and vigorous. Be ready for that.

There's a great scene in this movie involving a spider bite and what happens after. It's the kind of thing that comedy movies used to be riddled with and it was so good to venture back to what felt like the good old days. A very funny scene indeed.

I had a pretty good time with this movie. It works as a horror and it works as a comedy. It finds a good balance between the two. 7/10.

LIKES: Fast-Paced Fun Jokes Simple Entertainment Cameos Are Fun The Music Is Enjoyable It's Just Funny Summary: Anaconda is not here to tell a complex story, and therefore, the pace is not working to be this balanced, story masterpiece. It's a brisk pace for the fleeting attention span with loads of flash in the pan elements to give this adventure film that adventurous pace. The simplistic story is supported heavily with comedy and seems to be a jungle of jokes that take the form of many styles. Meta humor is a big card they played, making fun of Hollywood tactics by mirroring those tactics and poking fun at them. Slapstick humor is prominent, often leading to more banter as the cast of middle-aged movie makers pursues various interests in their impromptu trip to the most dangerous jungle in the world. One-liners, clever puns, and nods to nostalgia are all ready and waiting for you in this film, alongside some cameos that may be short-lived, but add their own charm and humor, which I enjoyed the most. Musically, I'm a sucker for a killer track list, and Anaconda is ready to hit you with a lot of styles that are matched with the scenes to levels that again synergize to enhance each other. What's the verdict of the likes... the movie is stupid fun, and in a movie... that works sometimes for just escaping the cruelties in the world. Anaconda is that escape, and with the cast bringing their acting strengths of silliness to full swing, I think you'll have a blast so long as you come in with the expectation of dumb fun and laughs.

DISLIKES: The Plot Is Meh The CGI Needs Work Character Development Needs Work It's Not Scary Lacks A Lot Of Snake Time/Terror Too Silly?

Summary: Just because you might expect a silly film, doesn't mean it doesn't come with limitations for a movie overall. Anaconda's plot is very limited. It's trying to put this new approach to the film, which sort of works, but then tries to integrate a few more serious plot points in the movie that are a distraction, extra, and feel somewhat hastily developed. Character development feels too caught up in the meta humor, and so many of the lines are drenched in the exaggerated presentation and sitcom-level enunciation that it feels even less necessary. It leads to characters that are somewhat one-dimensional, boring, and not so much worthy of investing in outside of the laughs. The CGI needs work, too. Don't get me wrong, they are crafting something I couldn't begin to make, but it also has that cheesy SyFy channel look in animation, textures, and comical anthropomorphic elements. I didn't hate it, and there is a good chance this was the goal, but in this day of technical prowess, not the direction I would go. If you are hoping that you were going to get that horror, adventure, and creature film, then lower the expectations now. This Anaconda tries to bring that hunted element, but it's minimal, drowned out by the comedic delivery element as we get bombarded with joke after joke. Not having that scare/danger element makes this movie boring, and the terror I wanted in some parts felt very minimal. The snake doesn't even get that much time, and the kill count is surprisingly low for a movie of this caliber. Those elements were very much needed, but given the trailers promising such a silly film, I can't say I'm surprised this big snake is more of a comedic guest star to the live-action cast. Thus, was the film too silly that it hurt the movie? I have to say yes.

The VERDICT: Anaconda is a film that promises an escape, and you are getting that escape. It's simple fun, unapologetic in the jokes it unleashes in this barrage of humorous vaudeville of movie-making in the Amazon Rainforest. The songs are fun, the humor is just mind candy, and it moves at a pace that should be very rewarding to a lot of people who don't want to think too hard for a movie. And despite the fun I had, the movie did need to rein in the comedy a bit and try to develop a little more depth to its plots and characters. Anaconda's remake has too many odd attempts at plots, and lacking that hunter element took the excitement out of this series that SyFy had mastered for so many years. Without that thrilling element, so many of the new directions got either stale or felt out of place, leading to a film that feels chaotic, contrived, and diluted to be a holiday release. Would I recommend a theater visit? No, I can't say it is, sadly, unless you just need that escapism. My scores for this film are:

Action/Adventure/Comedy: 6.5-7.0 Movie Overall: 5.5-6.0.