- Ichabod Crane: I married a witch. How... cool.
- [as Katrina stares at him]
- Ichabod Crane: It's a figure of speech. You'll learn.
- Lt. Abbie Mills: I need you to have faith.
- Jenny Mills: I have more than faith. I'm a mental patient with a gun.
- Lt. Abbie Mills: How're you both here? You're dead.
- Sheriff August Corbin: Dead? Shoot! Why doesn't anyone ever tell me these things?
- Henry Parish: Afraid there's no time for pleasantries, my friends. I believe that on this day, Moloch will seek to unleash hell on earth.
- Jenny Mills: That's one way to enter a room.
- Henry Parish: [menacingly to Ichabod] Now you'll know what it is to lose faith. When it's gone, you have nothing. And when you have nothing, there's nothing holding you back from what you're capable of.
- Ichabod Crane: On the bright side, at least we'll get to experience life after death within our lifetimes.
- Lt. Abbie Mills: That's a pretty dark bright side.
- Ichabod Crane: Recall if you will, the words of General Washington.
- Jenny Mills: Which one? Zombie Washington or father of the free world Washington?
- Caroline: [discussing the reenactment that Crane has stumbled into] You're actually supposed to be in the official outfit. So, what size are you?
- Ichabod Crane: You sell clothing.
- Caroline: Yes.
- Caroline: Well, maybe fate has led me to you after all.