Jafaican

Jafaican, starring the utterly baffling choice of Peter Andre, isn't just a bad movie; it's a cinematic head-scratcher that leaves you wondering, Why? From its cringe-inducing premise to its painfully amateur execution, this film is a testament to how not to approach cultural storytelling.

The plot, if one can call it that, feels like a fever dream cobbled together from forgotten tourist brochures and a Wikipedia search of Jamaican stereotypes. The script is a jumbled mess of tired tropes and exposition dumps that fail to build any believable world or character motivations.

Visually, it is equally uninspired. What could have been an opportunity to showcase the vibrant beauty of Jamaica instead feels like a series of generic postcard shots, poorly lit and haphazardly edited.

Ultimately, the movie is a bewildering and tone-deaf exercise in filmmaking. It fails spectacularly on nearly every front, offering neither genuine entertainment nor insightful commentary. Avoid at all costs.

"Gazza" (Peter Andre) is in the boozer regaling his mates with a story that is so remarkable that his best mate "Johnzie" (Jamie Lomas) thinks it's going to blow their socks off. He was facing disaster with his beloved nan looking like she was about to be turfed out of her care home unless he can find £35,000! There is virtually no hope he can manage this until he discovers that he is the doppelgänger of an imprisoned Jamaican gangster who is about to inherit a $3 millions. He comes up with a plan to learn the patois, don the dreads and head to the sunshine with his mentor "Winston" (Wil Johnson) to try and convince the local population that he is the true heir! Can he pull it off? Preposterous? Well, yes. It's clearly a labour of love for Andre and director Fredi Nwaka who did just about everything on this production, but the film just doesn't work. The script is weak and contrived and even though the supporting cast, especially the scene stealing "Uncle Godfrey" (Oliver Samuels) do inject some life into the film at times, the whole production is little better than amateur and misses way more than it hits. There's a lively soundtrack but that's about the height of it.

So it's obviously a low budget film - I wasn't expecting an Oscar worthy movie but this really was terrible. The script was so poor, no real plot, an abrupt ending that seemed like they just ran out of money! Great to see a couple of gems in it like Sizzla and Oliver Samuels but they were the only highlights. Peter Andre was terrible - couldn't even be bothered to go to a dialect coach so instead they just dubbed a Jamaican accent on him. When he did speak with an English accent he was trying to sound like a Southern Geeza but randomlly kept coming out with 'me gran' as though he was a Northerner - just bizarre. One minute calling his grandmother 'nan' the next 'gran' - make your mind up! Even the grandmother couldn't act! I think most the cast were probably promised a Guy Richie style brit film but what was delivered was even worse than an episode of Hollyoaks!

I appreciate that this is a very low-budget film (boy does it show), but it amazes me that a bunch of people get together in the hope that their particular cheap film, will defy the odds and become a cult or must-see movie. Occasionally it does happen, but when it does, it's because of something special, an original script, a stand out performance, decent direction, anything. This has none of those things. Every aspect of the film is bad amateur dramatics. It comes over like a very badly put together school play and like all school plays the only people who should be subject to having to sit through it are parents and relations. Seriously stay at home and wash your hair. Life is too short.

This has to be one of the most controversial movies released this year. There is alot of commentary regarding the plot, acting ability and topic, not all positive I must say... however at times there is a necessity to see before you believe and I would encourage you to do exactly that before making a judgement. I for one enjoyed the movie, understood its intension and lighthearted humour whilst celebrating a culture with icons from a generation I crew up with. In America a rising star called Spike Lee was once embraced by his community to pursue his talent, recognising an opportunity to showcase topics to a wider audience historically blockaced from main stream entertainment. Fredi Nwaka is a talented British born film director ready to distrup the status quo of the British film industry, let's not miss out on our opportunity. 🙏🏿👏🏿👏🏿