Screamboat

I'm pretty sure this movie had a budget of three dollars, seventy-five cents, and a stick of gum.

What were they thinking when they decided to make this cinematic mess-if we can even call it "cinematic"?

Honestly, I have no idea. Have people really lost their creative sense to this extent?

My review of the film:

It felt like I was watching a cheap movie from the 80s.

Oh my God, the effects!

The acting? I swear, it felt like the actors had zero experience. I don't even know where they found them-maybe at a Sunday flea market or something!

And the dialogue? Where do I even begin?

DDDVVVDDD.

Unfortunately I really struggled getting through this one. The deaths were really bad, not one memorable on in the mix which I think this film absolutely needed. It felt like an old sci fi movie, not something you'd see at the cinema which is maybe why I am especially annoyed that I spent on this cinema ticket and watched something that would be on tv late night.

The acting was really cringe and some of those Disney princess actors were especially bad. David Howard did a decent job but there wasn't much for him to do than just stand in one spot and wiggle around a load and giggle.. which soon got a bit boring.

Script was the big problem, the setting on the boat got really tired for me seeing people walking around the same set locations making bad decisions.

Wants to be Leprechaun but it's just a bad cash grab that barely resembles steamboat willy. Probably worst disney reimagining ive seen so far. I preferred snow white.. LOL It was painfully stupid and cliché cash grab but pretty enjoyable one at the end. I really liked David Howard Thorton performance - his Mr Bean - like mannerism once again makes these riddicoulus scenes work much better. It could 've been easily shorter tho - there is really no reason for something like this to last over 90 minutes. Some of the scenes feel drawn out and the acting really makes that apparent making it feel even more of a slog to get through. I get they want to be the next Winnie the Pooh film but I just don't see it with this. It's unimaginative and lacks any real creativity. Feels very low budget in all areas. Give these films better budgets!!

There have been quite a few "children's movie character" horror adaptations in the meantime, but this was one of the worst.

After 45 minutes I didn't feel like watching any more, but I did watch it to the end.

There is absolutely no common thread or any kind of logic in this movie. The scenes are often wildly thrown together or strung together, often without sense or reason. The whole movie has neither wit nor tension and the actors are just as bad. Please, do everyone a favor and stop producing such "wannabe" horror movies that are just plain bad.

Even 4 stars is still too much for this crap! Two hours of wasted time!

I have to admit that I harbored zero expectations to this 2025 horror comedy titled "Screamboat", given all the crap that has been released recently with the likes of Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Popeye, etc. But still, I hadn't watched this movie already, and given my love o all things horror, of course I had to check it out.

Writers Matthew Garcia-Dunn and Steven LaMorte put together a pretty straightforward script. It wasn't particularly outstanding, but I will admit that the movie was actually oddly entertaining for the cheesy thing it was, pardon the pun. There was something oddly enjoyable about the movie, which I suppose was because it was so far out there.

The only one on the cast list that I was familiar with was David Howard Thornton, and he was portraying the mouse. It should be noted that the acting performances in "Screamboat" were fair.

Sure, "Screamboat" is by no means a cinematic gem in the horror genre, but it was actually an entertaining enough off-beat slasher horror comedy.

And there was actually enough blood and mayhem to keep a seasoned gorehound such as myself sated.

My rating of director Steven LaMorte's 2025 movie "Screamboat" lands on a five out of ten stars.