Lizzie Borden's Revenge

Ah, yes. Dennis Devine.

To paraphrase Withnail, I watched this movie by mistake on YouTube, on a tablet, while waiting for a delayed flight.

As someone else asked: why?

As in: why are such movies made? Who bankrolls 'em? Do they make any money? What is the unseen, unknown part of the equation here? I do not see it, I certainly do not know it...

To me, this movie seems like something a bunch of (probably drunk) friends could have come together to make using an iPhone camera - as a joke. You know, as something they'd later show to other friends - as a joke.

But it ain't that. It's an actual movie production (such as it is). And I don't get it. Is it - specifically - made for people who watch movies whilst drunk or stoned? Is there a whole, separate market (demography) for such movies that I'm not aware of? But - if so - er...WHY (again)? Wouldn't it be cheaper and more sustainable for everyone involved if that demography just watched random YouTube clips of - I don't know - fat dudes on trampolines, cats slapping unaware dogs, soccer players accidentally getting kicked in the nuts, and so on?

How are movies like this a part of the movie industry in the post-Internet era? (I guess that's what I'm asking).

Fascinating phenomenon.

Breaking down the reason for 7 stars..

2 Stars for Mindy Robinson's out and about Mindys..

2 stars for Veronica Ricci's absolute hatred of clothing..

1 Star for Krystal Ellsworth's crazy sister portrayal... (and upskirt)

1 star Ginny You's Drunk performance.. method acting if I have ever seen it..

And last but not least 1 star for Bobby. Why is it Bobby's are always great characters... This guy had it all.. heroism, character development , one liners, one handed lock-picking, camera skills (more upskirting) ...

When you think of all the up and coming film makers who would jump at the opportunity to get funding to make a movie you have to ask yourself why this piece of nonsense ever got made. As previous reviewers have said it has all the acting,directing and content quality of a 70's porn movie without the porn! It's hard to imagine that the people involved in producing this film sat around looking at the days shooting and thinking " this is good". Just the first few minutes sets the tone of the rest of the movie. Who did they get to play Mr. Borden?...a friend who fancied being in a movie?....the pizza delivery guy who had a spare few minutes? Total rubbish..if you love films avoid at all costs.

No more words are needed. I've added this sentence as my review was too short.

If this was meant to be a serious movie, they failed horribly. If they were attempting to make a XXX movie, it's better than some. Acting is horrible. Script is horrible. Lizzy Borden murders aren't even accurate. The lines are so bad. Feels like a toddler wrote it. Or a teen boy who dreamt of girl slumber party fantasies. Everyone in this is a horrible actor/actress, but great XXX movie stars. The characters are utterly bizarre. No one talks or acts like they do. So over the top. There's a character limit I'm trying to drag out here, but this is so bad. Hot chick's though so..........have fun.