Pooltime

You expect a story. As sketch, as pretext. But it does not exist. You hope a form of acting. A sketch. A try. But it does not exist. The only piece - a pool, few middle - age men, women, a pizza boy who comes so late than he seems a sort of Godot. Sure, a summer film. But the bodies are not so seductive, the dialogue is awful and the film is, certainly , too, too long. And boring. So, an enveloppe without letter.

A rather weak film. A bunch of friends stay by the pool making fun of each other, diving, waiting for a much delayed pizza, making some revelations. The film could difficultly be more simple or cheap. But the great problem is the actors, if they can be called so. Hardly delivering their lines, they simply don't convince. The less bad is Virgil (Jeffrey Patrick Olson). Besides being beautiful, he can somewhat act. A Previous Mr. Bodybuilder at gay games, he has some of the best lines, and some very astonishing news, given the milieu they live. Definitely a film you should not bother to see. Better to watch the weakest sitcom or soap opera on TV. They can give you more emotion than this flop.

I try to find one redeeming quality in every film: Here it is the sound and picture quality, which aren't too bad for an indy film. The rest of it, however - acting, directing, script, music - are just about the worst stuff I've ever seen in all my Flixing years. I'd rather sit poolside and watch bugs drown than sit through this inane drivel. I'd suffocate on the smell of chlorine than listen to the idiotic dialogue delivered by characters who run the emotional gamut from A to B. The principal 'boys' in this film aren't too hard on the eyes, but they aren't boys anymore either (which makes their idle poolside chatter even more annoying). Inexplicable appearances by random women - one with a geographically untraceable accent - are absurd. The 100 year old Carla Laemmle is shoe-horned in to the plot and forced to speak in vague gardening metaphors I think neither she nor the foreign women understood. The film's ending - including a laughable montage and an appearance by a long-awaited Pizza Boy (!) - are almost too much too bear. I'm shocked I made it that far. I kept asking "how much worse can it get?" But yet the film managed to constantly exceed my wildest nightmares of banality.