Triassic Hunt

As soon as I saw the words "The Asylum" on the screen as the movie started, I immediately thought to myself "oh no". Why? Well, because The Asylum has a track record of making really, really bad low budget movies. But still, every now and again The Asylum does manage to put out a movie that is actually adequate and not all that bad.

So I gave "Triassic Hunt" a chance.

While the movie proved to be watchable, it was hardly an outstanding movie. The storyline was just bland and so much in it was just making little or no sense. But hey, a movie with dinosaurs is hardly top notch of creativity, right?

The acting in "Triassic Hunt" was as to be expected for a movie such as this, so you're not going to be in for a grand spectacular performance of high arts. I am not saying that the actors and actresses were bad at their craft, but they put on mediocre performances at best, as if they themselves didn't really believe in the movie's script and premise.

What does work for "Triassic Hunt" was actually the special effects. Indeed, this movie didn't have as bad CGI as I had expected from a movie from The Asylum. In fact, the special effects and CGI were actually quite good for a movie from The Asylum, so that counted well in favor of the movie.

But a bland script and storyline just weren't cutting it in terms of providing a wholeheartedly entertaining movie. Sure, "Triassic Hunt" was watchable, but it was a movie that came and went without much of a dent, nor is it one that I will be watching again.

My rating of "Triassic Hunt" is a less than mediocre four out of ten stars.

Even schlock has its limits, so this is just too bad, in every way.

Triassic Hunt is a sequel to the 2018 film Triassic World, clearly a mockbuster of Jurassic World and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. Instead of a dinosaur zoo/theme park though, we have dinosaurs that were supposed to be growing human organs and when that failed miserably, they decided to transport a male and female to Costa Rica, because of course.

Things quickly go wrong from the start, not just in terms of the dinosaurs immediately escaping and killing people, but in terms of the plot and major plot holes. I don't think even having our wonderful creature feature star, Danny Trejo could have saved this disaster of a film.

After the dinosaurs get away in an industrial park of some sort, the for hire mercenaries that were transporting the allosaurs must get their whole team together to recapture them...alive. But it turns out the company that hired them has set them up as a demonstration to sell the allosaurs as a weapon. They are supposed to have human level intelligence as well making this even more difficult.

There's so many problems with this. Let's first start with the fact that they are trying to sell these 2 allosaurs' as a weapon, which already is a bad idea since they are supposed to be really smart, but apparently don't do as they are told. They also are taking a huge risk that one or both of these creatures could end up being killed, which there goes your profit. Next, let's also take a quick moment to talk about the design of these allosaurs' cause it's bad. Aside from the subpar CGI, they have the biggest hips, so these are killing machines that probably won't be able to walk in a couple years due to massive hip dysplasia. Another huge plot flaw is the list of countries bidding that supposedly have a GDP to afford them. They could have at least done a quick google search to see which countries could afford them, but they start the bid at a half a billion and that's only for 1 of these dinos! While some of the countries that are listed are believable, I have a really hard time believing that Kosovo, Cyprus, and Moldova can afford this.

This movie's really only redeeming quality is that it's fun to riff. If you enjoy watching a movie to laugh at with friends, then you'll have a great time with this, but aside from that, then don't waste your time with this.

When you want a laugh and you see its made by asylum you know youll get a laugh. acting is horrible like always. and they dont care about details when making movies, the entire run half the guns you can clearly see have no mag's in them. my recommendation is watch this if you really have nothing else to watch and second watch this if you want to see a comedy not a scifi or horror movie

Asylum is so famous for terrible screenplays that the bar has become so incredibly low that this rises to a 3/10.

What is it about? Who knows? It's got two dinosaurs eating people, many in flashbacks just so the writers can feel like they're professionals for doing flashbacks.

A team of mercenaries is obviously being fed to the dinosaurs. This is evident from the first half hour, so it isn't a spoiler.

One gets the feeling that the director and writer team just want to do things because they can do them, and just do what special effects lets them do.

The story is so confusing and incoherent that you just sit back and figure it's another "big corporation makes deadly dinosaur weapon movie", and I think that is what it is, ho hum.