True Beauty

I was shocked to find out that the winner, Taylor Bills, has a little hidden secret that obviously the producers failed to find out! Looks like Taylor's dad has been a fugitive on the run for several years. he was sentenced to 12 years in prison in Florida and has been running ever since. His dad's name is Stephen Bills. Sorry Taylor, a "true beauty" would be better suited to someone without any skeletons in their closet. I'm shocked that he won anyway since he was boring and the least lively person on the show. The best episode I saw was when he got drunk and fell on his behind by the pool. The show is dumb and it should end this season. Perhaps Taylor can use some of his $100K prize money to get his dad a get out of jail card once and for all.

Nolé Marin. Vanessa Minnillo. Cheryl Tiegs. One troll, one ditzy hotty and one plastic surgery disaster. And that's on the outside. On the inside, the picture gets worse. All three have varying levels of

Pretentiousness -- Superficiality -- Vanity -- Selfishness -- Dishonesty -- Ignorance -- Promiscuity -- Laziness -- Arrogance -- Hypocrisy

Nolé seems the most comfortable with his black soul, while Vanessa tries the hardest to hide hers. Cheryl's so busy trying to stay lucid that I don't think she even understands the extent of her evilness.

I love it when they all feign horror when the contestant fails to pick up the litter, when you know, in real life, none of them have touched litter in years- possibly ever. Just talk to any of their assistants. They'll be more than happy to reveal the full extent of their inner ugliness.

With the right judges, this show could have been phenomenal. It could have sent a message that you'd find no where else on TV. An original thought. As it's stands, it's just repulsive people passing judgment on other repulsive people. For a show about inner beauty I find it mind boggling that not one single character has the slightest bit of it.

And yet... when all it said and done... I can't look away. This is the car wreck that I have to drive by and look at over and over again. Repulsive celebrities and wannabe repulsive celebrities are still a pretty fascinating watch. But, just like you're average sports fan who yells at the TV, you'll find me equally as agitated, screaming things like

"Nolé, you are SUCH a slut!" -- "Vanessa, grow a brain!" -- "Cheryl, hellooooo, is anybody in there?!?!"

I can't believe this horrid excuse for a show is back for another season. I know networks are looking for cheap innocuous fare to fill the schedule in the summer but this is the biggest waste of airtime ever! Stupid, vapid people being judged for stupid vapid self indulgent reasons to show just how stupid and empty they are. I caught one or two episodes out of curiosity last season, just to see How Bad IT Could BE! Pretty bad, flipping channels and saw it was BACK my gag reflux started acting up. AVOID. It can cause brain damage it's so bad.

IMDb is making me write more than I want to....so my review is BAD, AWFUL, GAG ME, SUCKS, STUPID, STUPID CONTESTANTS, STUPID JUDGES, STUPID FAKEY CONTESTS, IS THE REALLY WHERE American CULTURE IS HEADED, OMG!!! Inner Beauty my foot...these people are completely empty of it!

What's ironic about this show (with its premise being that beauty should be on the inside) is that the host Vanessa is the most obnoxious, spoiled, bratty fake person on the set. Too bad they don't have a hidden camera on her in her real life. She would be booted in the first hour. I can't believe they couldn't find a more appropriate judge than that shallow piece of eye-candy. I think the show has little and I'm a big fan of Cheryl. None of the girls on the show would ever make it as real models. They are simply looking for their 15 minutes of fame. This might be the example of the worst of Hollywood. Beautiful people at their worst.

Sorry, I had to do it...I will probably never get the chance to give a lot of the words in the 'V' category this kind of a workout again...

They are apt descriptors for the reality-show twelve-car-pileup that is TRUE BEAUTY. A show that gives the rest of us "ugly Americanos" the chance to sit back and revel in the irony, that yes, all the beautiful people who gave you hell through grade school, high school, college and maybe even now where you work or live - they have flatter stomachs, bigger boobs, brawnier biceps, fabulous faces that cameras make love to, and will never stop reminding you of it every chance they get. But the majority of them also have so little brain power, it's a wonder how their parents ever let them out of the house. Amoebas look like Einstein's progeny next to these dim bulbs.

The show's biggest Achilles' heel is that the same thing can be said equally for the featured judges. This most recent season saw the addition of QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY'S Carson Kressley, "Mrs. Howard Stern" (I can't even remember her name, so that's what I call her), and of course, the faux-fabulousness of "head judge" Vanessa Minnillo.

I rather enjoyed the "let's-rewind-the-car-crash-scene-again" nastiness of the first season, wondering all the while if the concept would catch on, and how in the hell the producers of this frothy summertime slop would pull it off for a second season. I needn't have concerned myself...disguising the competition as the "Face of Vegas" contest was a no-brainer...as were quite a few of the contestants this time around. After all, TRUE BEAUTY features GOOD- LOOKING people, not SMART ones. Otherwise, there would be no show.

The only thing more endlessly amusing than watching these people "try to be fly" is observing the panel of judges who pronounce over them, and supposedly come up with the "challenges" that will reveal whether or not the players-in-question are equally possessed of the kind of inward attractiveness that matches their gorgeous outsides. In other words: A SOUL. Really? Is it feasible or even fair for already vacuous (there's that word again!) celebrity fame-whores to assess the humanity of those who are - at least to some degree - their peers? Isn't that kind of like chronic alcoholics being given the task to test other drunks for their sobriety?

But, back on track here. I wish I could quit reality shows altogether, or at least limit myself to a diet of the somewhat 'classier' varieties, like THE AMAZING RACE.

But watching telegenic atrocities like TRUE BEAUTY is just too much damned FUN! Kind of like eating a pound of M&M's in one sitting - except without the guilt, the bloated feeling and the hour spent on the treadmill working them off that follows.

The only question I have is this: Is the very existence of this show a way for executive producer Ashton Kutcher to pull the "Ultimate PUNK'D prank" on co-executive producer....TYRA BANKS? Yes, she's behind this mess, too!

The mind wonders...and wanders...