- David Santiago: What you do with your life is, really just one half of the equation. The other half, the more important half, really is, who you're with when you're doing it.
- Ryden Malby: Hey. Life sucks without you. I miss you. Of course I miss you, I knew that I would. But it's not like a, 'hey, we had some great times, you know, keep in touch' kind of thing. It's more like, 'I can't eat, I can't sleep, I forget what it feels like to laugh' kind of thing. And I really think that when you left, you took my heart with you.
- David Santiago: [the entire family has walked in on Ryden on top of David with no shirt on, David and Ryden look up shocked] Fuck me.
- Grandma Maureen: Well I would, but it appears someone beat me to it.
- Adam Davies: Every evil, terrible thing that ever occurs in the world is directly offset, counterbalanced if you will, by the complete utter joy of biting into an Eskimo Pie. It's the way we maintain balance in the universe.
- David Santiago: [after Ryden's family walk in on David and Ryden about to have sex] Fuck me.
- Grandma Maureen: Well, I would but somebody already beat me to it.
- Ryden Malby: [from the trailer] This is not the way it's supposed to go, you're not supposed to comeback when you've already left the nest!