Don't Suck

When I sat down to watch the 2023 comedy "Don't Suck", I had never actually heard about it. And I hadn't read the synopsis, but given the movie's cover, I did assume that I was in for a vampire movie.

However, I must say that the storyline in the movie turned out to be way more entertaining and enjoyable than I had anticipated. I figured I was in for something in the likes of a spoof or farce on the likes of "Twilight" and such, given the movie's cover. However, writer Rick D'Elia proved to come up with a rather nicely written comedy script that combined elements of living on the road as a stand-up comedian and vampire movies. There was just something that worked about quite nicely.

And I must say that I wasn't figuring that Jamie Kennedy would muster anything grand here, but I was pleasantly surprised with his performance as the down-on-his-luck-aging-comedian Pete. And I wasn't familiar with his co-star Matt Rife, playing Ethan the vampire, but he definitely put on a memorable and good performance as well. It should definitely be noted that teaming up Jamie Kennedy alongside with Matt Rife was a good choice, because they had a great on-screen chemistry.

I wasn't familiar with the majority of the cast ensemble in the movie, aside from Jamie Kennedy and Russell Peters. But I will say that the cast in general did put on good performances in bringing their characters to life on the screen.

If you enjoy odd comedies, then "Don't Suck" is a movie that is well-worth sitting down and checking out. I was genuinely surprised with the script that Rick D'Elia gave director RJ Collins to bring to the script. And I was adequately entertained throughout the course of the 100 minutes that the movie ran for.

My rating of "Don't Suck" lands on a six out of ten stars.

This is...so bad. Didn't laugh at all, in fact I cringed more than I laughed. Matt Rife's "acting" was horrible. I guess the only thing he has going for himself is that he is pale enough to be a vampire. A few washed up actors with bad acting, no good jokes. Highly recommend not watching this and instead watching a ~good~ vampire movie/show lol go check out Nick Cage's new vampire movie because even though it wasn't the best thing in the world, it was still a thousand times better than this.

Overall, please don't waste your time watching this. Watch something better. Let's please stop giving Matt Rife jobs.

I am a Matt Rife fan, but I think this movie falls flat a lot. I feel like this movie tries to be as boring as watching paint dry! Somehow I giggled at a few scenes but that is not the point on what this movie is, it's more of a so bad it's boring or so bad it's funny type of movie however, I think the casting choices were spot on. We got Jamie Kennedy, Matt Rife & Carrot Top?! I will admit I think the friendship part was pretty nice but then again it's just your typical boring mediocre movie that falls flat but some jokes do make you laugh a lot. There is not much to say about it and it's weird.

After seeing it's rating...I expected worse.

But it's not without it's faults.

The story revolves around a washed up comedian (played by Jamie Kennedy) who tries to rekindle his career by accepting a gig touring with a not-so-young up and comer (played by Matt Rife).

The young wannabe comic employs a dry shtick where he plays on being an ancient- yet ageless- vampire.

However, he's having a hard time connecting with the audience.

So he brings on Kennedy's character with the hope that he can get some tips on how to become a better comedian.

Promising to fund the entire endeavour, himself.

Only to reveal the truth behind the facade.

The whole thing is rather mediocre.

If only because Rife's portrayal of the vampire character is rather insufferable.

The rest of the cast actually do an excellent job, though.

Why many people didn't like it is obvious, however.

Because it comes off less a comedy than it does a drama.

Which is something I blame the writers for.

Because, where they had an oppourtunity to insert comedy into the script...they seem to glance over them, in order to focus on driving the dramatic aspect of the story forward.

Which is an odd decision.

Because there's not enough comedy to appease viewers who tuned in for some laughs.

And there's not enough gore to satiate those expecting a pure horror.

Making it completely reliant on winning people over with the drama.

Which is a mistake in my opinion.

Especially considering Rife does such an awful job.

His terrible performance aside...it's not totally horrible.

Just very slow and dry.

Which is not something you would expect from a film that features such well known comics.

Thus, it's not particularly great.

So, you can't blame people for thinking it does, in fact, suck.

Because, in the end...it really is quite mediocre.

2 out of 10.

This vanity project does one thing right, it proves Matt rife will never lead a real movie. Rife's acting is somehow worse than his crowd work and the plastic surgeries aren't helping. Jamie Kennedy sleep walks through the movie as well, reminding everyone why we don't see him very often in 2023. The jokes are weak, the film stars two comedians and is very light on any comedy. Rife's English accent is hilarious, it comes and goes and will fade during a single sentence. If you find Rife's comedy to be painfully unfunny, at least this movie is a little bit better. If "Renfield" is too scary or intelligent for you, this will definitely help put you to sleep. Watch with cocktails or other substances, it could possibly make it more enjoyable.