La Fille à la Mitraillette

I first thought that I was watching something from the grind-house era, then I noticed that this movie is only two months old. If this is where we are going, then get some waders folks, as the blood pours in this film. I'm talking blood spurting like a lawn sprinkler every time someone gets a body part cut off. Believe you me, there are plenty of body parts flying in this film.

If you like seeing a chef eat his fingers on a sushi roll, if you like seeing arms and legs and heads cut off, if you like blood all over, then you will love this film.

Yes our Rose had a machine gun leg in Planet Terror, but in this film, you get a machine gun arm, and a chainsaw leg and a chainsaw arm. But that isn't all. You get to see a drill bra that just shreds some luscious melons.

If you are a comic fan, then you will enjoy this as it is definitely over the top.

After her brother is murdered by a ninja-yakuza clan, a teenage girl seeks vengeance with her gatling gun. First and foremost, this movie has enough blood spray to fill Lake Erie. The death scenes are numerous, highly inventive, and extremely entertaining. The pacing is just about perfect, with the action scenes positioned within the running time in such a way that avoids any dullness. One surprising positive is the camera-work, which shows blood sprays for incredibly long periods of time. This is definitely a movie that soaks itself in excess. The story itself plays out rather seriously, but the black humor is laid on thick during the fights, so some laugh-out-loud moments are almost guaranteed along the way. This is a very satisfying action gore-fest because of its impressively long finale.

I've already heard some artsy snobs complaining about this movie in terms of character development. I'm just wondering why these tards even decided to watch this movie to begin with. They should have known exactly what they were going to get. You don't see the name Tsai Ming-liang on the DVD case, do you?

This really was my summer blockbuster popcorn flick of 2008. Everyone else can have their little CGI prairie dogs, animated monkeys, and space aliens. You can have your superheros, sequels, and remakes (can Hollywood think of anything new?). The fact remains that THIS movie should be playing on 3,000 screens! That will never happen in the USA though with it's dumb-as-dirt moviegoers who flock like sheep to see the most derivative tripe dished out by those Californian bloodsuckers. Do you people have ANY standards whatsoever?

On a positive note, that's another success this year in terms of my most highly anticipated films. "Chocolate" (a Thai action flick), "The Machine Girl", and "Tokyo Gore Police were all insanely entertaining. And maybe "High School Girl Rika: Zombie Hunter" can round out a great 2008 for Japanese Horror.

You don't get great stuff like this out of the States. Man, is there any reason to watch American movies anymore?

This film is filled with violence and gore, severed heads and limbs. So, why am I recommending it? Its fun to watch despite all that. The core of the plot is good. Ami, played by the pretty Minase Yashiro, avenges the murder of her younger brother Yu at the hands of a group of sadistic young people who are part of the Kimora clan. Ami's arm is hacked off in her first attempt to kill the son who caused Yu's death, but she manages to escape and is taken in by Miki, whose son Takeshi was also killed by the gang with Yu. It is Takeshi's mother Miki who goes along with Ami on this mission. If you don't like blood and gore, you can't watch this film. I normally do not like it, but this movie moves along at a good pace and Minase Yashiro actually does a good job as Ami. So, if you can handle buckets of blood, I think you'll enjoy it.

If you only see ONE outrageously absurd and ridiculously over-the-top Asian splatter yarn this year - or even this lifetime, for that matter – you better make damn sure it's Noboru Iguchi's "The Machine Girl"! This stupendously demented piece of Japanese "Revengeploitaton" features king-size portions of all the regular and crowd-pleasing ingredients, like crazed stereotypical characters (Yakuzas, Ninjas, schoolgirls in uniform, …) and simplistic story lines, but it particularly specializes in extreme Magna-esquire gore and kitschy comedy. Beautiful and multi-talented schoolgirl Ami lives alone with her nerdy brother Yu since their parents committed suicide for falsely being accused of homicide. Ami protects her brother where she can, but she doesn't know he and his friend Takashi are the main targets of youthful bullies with prominent Yakuza-parents. The boys get killed, but nobody wants to help Ami because of her notorious family history and her sole attempts to get revenge literally cost the poor girl an arm. She finally gets help from Takashi's mourning parents, who also provide Ami with a machine-gun prosthesis. "Machine Girl" offers a wide selection of decapitations, dismemberment, close-up gunfire, stabbings, split-open skulls, chainsaw murders, fried limbs, slit throats, electrocutions, impalement and Samurai swashbuckling. Seen all of that before in other schlocky splatter fodder already? Well, yeah … but what about flying guillotines and drill bras? Most of the running time, the screen is literally colored red with gallons of fake blood and removed intestines, but the tone of the film continuously remains blackly comical and light-headed. The phenomenally berserk make-up effects, courtesy of Yoshihiro Nishimura, are often nauseating, but never truly offensive. "Machine Girl" definitely also stars a couple of ravishing and incredibly sexy Japanese actresses, like Ami, her partner in crime Miki and even the supremely bitchy Yakuza's wife. The battle sequences at the beginning and in the garage, as well as the entire final showdown of course, simply have to be seen to be believed. This outrageously grotesque movie is well-made, well-acted and directed and indescribably entertaining.

Ami (Asami) is out for revenge after her brother Yu is murdered by a gang of young yakuza-ninjas. Unfortunately, while in pursuit of the leaders, she is captured and one of her arms is cut off. Not to worry, a friendly couple who are also out for revenge on the same people have a solution, make her a machine gun arm! After The Machine Girl finished I can safely say this: the Japanese are still producing awesome gore flicks. Noboru Iguchi has created a film that will surely receive cult status and easily go down as one of the goriest films ever made. Firstly, this IS a gore-flick, there is enough blood spray to fill a lake. Secondly, the story is not complex or incredibly challenging, likewise, there is nil character development. Therefore, if you watch this movie thinking along those lines (I would not know why, though, as it IS called The Machine Girl) you will be sorely disappointed. If you do go in expecting outrageous gore and some genuinely funny comedy you will be very pleased! The Machine Girl really should be released theatrically everywhere, it is a fun, exciting and well-made action/comedy/drama and one of the best movies of 2008!

4/5