The Magnificent Eleven

The Magnificent Eleven must have been an easy sell. After the runaway success of Trainspotting, anything with writer Irvine Welsh's name on it gets the greenlight. However, this film is nothing like its dark and moody predecessor.

Trainspotting had social commentary and healthy doses of black humour. Here, we have a sort of 'London's answer to The Full Monty,' only with humour that just doesn't work.

It's about a pub football team who blag their way into getting a local Indian Restaurant to sponsor them, only to find later that the restaurant is in debt to 'the mob,' therefore they have to help them out and defend the naan bread and tikkas-to-go. Yes, as its name suggests, it's a homage to The Magnificent Seven. Whereas the cowboy film had action as its main selling point, this one has - er - not much. The humour is really weak, most of the characters are stereotypes and, although it's easy to sympathise with some of the characters who are finding it hard to find work in these times of austerity, they're just not interesting or funny enough to truly get behind.

About the only point is a spirited performance by Jenna Harrison, who comes across as suitably lovely. The rest if the cast, despite boasting some impressive British acting talent, come across as pretty bland.

However, the bottom line is, if you want some British comedy, stick to the Full Monty. If you want a cowboy film, stay with the Magnificent Seven.

Football rarely (if ever) tranfers well onto the big screen, and this is the perfect example of that.

Irvine Welsh reputedly assisted with the writing, but it's not his finest hour that's for sure.

There's little point summarising the plot, it's just not worth it. Football team, lads, shenanigans, save the club from ABC&D etc. Girls, romances, pals helping each other out, unconvincing gangsters and you get the idea.

The biggest mystery is how this ever even won a £3m budget to even get made! How did it even get distributed? It's so poor and would have been better off having been buried away like other non-event catastrophes.

Just give it a miss.

I found myself watching The Magnificent Eleven as I'm binging on all the remakes of Seven Samurai (1954) and this is certainly the oddest.

That's right this 2013 British made football themed movie is remake of 1954's Japanese made samurai movie! Who would have thought it?

Starring Sean Pertwee, Keith Allen and a very tired looking Robert Vaughn this movie was at an immediate disadvantage with me.

I tend to dislike UK cinema and I hate football, so what chance did it stand really?

Telling the story of a small football team who seek sponsorship from a local indian restaurant and how it gets them into a spot of bother with the local crime syndicate.

I have to say it's not what I expected at all. For a start this is in no universe a remake of Seven Samurai, I don't know how in the blue hell they can justify that. Second the football is a side theme and the movie doesn't climax in a football game like you'd assume, it goes in a different direction and is all the better for it.

A distinctly average film from a genre I dislike that comes out better than expected mostly due to a great finale.

Better than it by all rights should have been and does NOT deserve the critical reception it seems to have recieved.

The Good:

Great finale

Strong cast

The Bad:

Robert Vaughn should have retired by this point, I loved the man but here he demonstrates that he should have been putting his feet up

Still a football movie at its core

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

I entirely approve of Gary Linker having a mute disguised role

Keith Allen has considerably more talent than his daughter could dream of

The Magnificent Eleven of the title are a bunch of boozy amateur league footballers, they are so bad that scoring one goal is seen as the equal of winning the World Cup! Unfortunately because they are so bad they can't get sponsorship and are about to fold. That is until a raucous night at the local Indian takeaway results in the saving of the team. But lurking around with menace is local thug American Bob, who along with his henchman are putting the squeeze on the restaurant for protection money owed.

Paul Barber is the manager, Keith Allen is the captain and Sean Pertwee is the star player! That's enough for British film fans to know just what sort of film this is. In truth in spite of its snazzy cast list, it's not very good, the attempt at making a play on The Magnificent Seven, with Robert Vaughn turning up as American Bob, never really works. However, for football fans, and especially those that have played Sunday league footie, there is charm to be found and some genuine laugh out loud moments. Only a Sunday league player in Britain could understand why a team called Real Sociopath is genius funny.

A select audience only for this one, non Brits need not apply. 5/10

Oh dear! I wanted to enjoy this film as I like British comedies, football and Keith Allen. However, some of the acting wasn't the best and there wasn't enough depth. Plot lines could have been explored a lot more.

I would have liked a more feel good soundtrack too.

I'm afraid my husband and I were both reminded of the B moves we used to watch in the 70s. Though they were more enjoyable as shorter and were what they were!

If they gave it a revamp and started again I would give it another chance though!