Je sais qui m'a tuée

I went into this movie with a friend thinking it would be a cheesy, fun horror movie - just a good way to pass the time on a rainy day.

Oh god, was I wrong.

It's as if the director spent the film's entire budget acquiring Lindsay Lohan and disregarded everything else. EVERYTHING within this film is bad - the scary parts aren't scary (or even remotely suspenseful), the dialogue is awful, the acting is questionable at best, and, I am very sorry to say that Lindsay Lohan's stripping/ sex scenes were not sexy at all. On top of everything else, the killer was obvious and the plot didn't even make a whole lot of sense. Even the quality of film used is inferior to the type normally used (yes, you can tell).

Some films are so bad they're good. This film was just SO BAD.

Don't wait for the DVD. Just don't watch it.

It's not often that I call a movie terrible, but this was terrible. And, it's too bad, because it could have been better and Lindsay Lohan was really quite good in it. It just seemed like a movie suffering from an identity crisis - trying to be film noir, psychological thriller and gross-out horror flick. It was just way overdone and there were too many holes in the plot. The use of the blue rose petals was so heavy-handed. And, if all that weren't enough, I figured out who the killer was almost from the first moment the character is introduced. Poor Lindsay. All in all, she's not having a very good week. Better luck next time -- if there is one for Lindsay.

That's right, my girlfriend turned to me in the movie and said, "I think BarbWire was better than this." Her opinion and mine seemed to carry through to the whole audience in the advance screening we went to last night. The audience was laughing at the horrible acting, terrible script and crap camera work.

Specifics: Lohan works in a strip club where women are topless, yet she never takes the top off and even in sheer bra has pasties on (or were the pasties on top of the bra?). I could care less about seeing her naked, but if you are playing a stripper you might have to at least imply nudity with well placed hands.

Someone decided to inject humor into the movie into the most awkward places. The biggest problem was trying to figure out why people were laughing more during the "serious parts" than the "funny parts".

Characters come in, spout some wisdom and disappear behind a rock like the Dungeon Master. I have a feeling that they are supposed to be angels, maybe God himself?

The twists in the movie are tough to swallow. I will not even come close to ruining them, they are not even worth ruining. Someone thought they could write a M. Knight script, but failed.

Overall, this movie would be worth a rental from the dollar kiosk at the grocery store, as long as everything else is sold out. I am glad I got in for free. If you do decide to spend money to see this movie, send me the cash instead, I will then hit you in the groin, you will enjoy it more.

So I just went to go see an advance screening of this movie and I don't know why the studio would do such a thing-- the audience was constantly laughing and this is no comedy. Usually screenings I've seen have been of fantastic movies (Wedding Crashers, Hairspray) and I'm telling everyone I know to go see it. Also, I've never seen such a general consensus of "WOW, what were they thinking?" at the end of a movie. I cannot WAIT to read the reviews on this! It's going to be slaughtered by the press.

Despite Ms. Lohan's troubles, I do think she is talented and, if only for her sake, I was hoping this would be a good film. I like her, and I love movies and tend to see the good in them, but this does not do enough redeeming. It does have a promising premise, but it is done all wrong. The parts that need build-up have none and time is wasted on other pointless scenes. Very graphic film as well-- definitely not an R that any child should be seeing.

Seriously, this isn't even a case of "so bad it's good". It's just bad.

Save yourself the $10 movie fare on this one-- and go see "1408" for a real psychological thriller. This'll be on DVD before you know it anyway.

This movie was bad. Just bad. It wasn't scary or interesting or even unintentionally funny in the slightest. The acting was so wooden and unbelievable it was like a high school production. The lines were some of the corniest I have ever heard this side of "Stay Alive". The plot made absolutely no sense. I really didn't care who Dakota or the serial killer were or where the Aubrey had gone. This is Screen writing 101: You need to care about the characters! I guess the writer of this movie missed that class.

So much of it was just disgusting, too. Some scenes were so graphic I actually had to turn my head away. For example, where Dakota sews on a bloody and gangrenous finger with a needle and thread, or where the "killer" or whatever puts Aubrey's hands between dry ice and when he pulls them apart her rotting hand is pulled in half. Other repulsive scenes were the ones where Lindsay Lohan was pole dancing at a strip club. It's like the writer couldn't decide which avenue he wanted to take the movie down, gory violent thriller, or a drama/suspense movie, and in the end compromised with a boring, lifeless story with lots of blood and gore.

And what was with all the blue items everywhere? Did the director think he was being "artsy"? The blue computer, the blue curtains, the blue roses, even the knife the killer used was blue! It was not like "The Sixth Sense" with the color red, where it was subtle and if you weren't looking for it you wouldn't notice. Every item was blue, and the whole film looked tinted blue like the director was using a blue filter. That was one of the only things consistent throughout this movie. It was as if the director needed to make certain you couldn't forget which movie you were watching, just in case you nod off for a few minutes or something.

Another irritating thing were the police officers. Honestly, I don't know if the writer/director of this film figured that no one would have the slightest idea of how real cops work, or if they just didn't want to put in the research to find out for themselves, but every scene with the cops was so unbelievable, and the actors portrayed them too like they'd never seen one before. Maybe it was the lines that were poorly written, but they had no emotion! Turn on Law & Order or CSI once and a while and see how cops really talk and what terms they really use. And then they just suddenly inexplicably disappeared for the rest of the movie, like so many other plot holes. Did they solve the case? Did they lose interest? Or was the writer just too lazy or disinterested to fix that particular plot hole? There are so many nonsensical parts to this movie it's just embarrassing.

Towards the end of the movie the "plot" starts unraveling and the ending itself makes absolutely no sense, and you really don't care to make sense of it, you just want it over! I guess there's an alternate ending that might shed some more light on this, but I haven't seen it and all I have to go off of was the movie I saw in theaters. I wasn't able to figure out if Dakota was just made up or if she was real, and by the end all I cared about was leaving the theater.