The English Harem

This was not vintage Art Malik, but I found it an enjoyable and slightly tongue-in-cheek look at the clash of two cultures. To be fair it was not a particularly realistic plot, indeed at times it was rather thin, but for all that was able to show just how bigoted and inconsiderate some people can be, on both sides of the cultural fence. Martine McCutcheon's role quite delicately displayed just how limited and narrow some people can become in their lives. For me, however, Tony Slattery's slightly bumbling social worker role had distinct shades of Cleveland and Orkney, (older readers will know what I mean), in a situation which affects far too many people in today's society. It had relevance at a time when there is far too little understanding of how other people live, and perhaps should have taught everyone, even those holding more extreme views, that we should always take people's feelings into account. It will certainly get a second and third run in the DVD player.

"Martine Mccutcheon, that cute Londoner, in three-in-a-bed romps with Art Malik and two other women? I'm there!" Yep, this was the advance publicity for this drama, that Tiffany from Eastenders would finally shed her inhibitions and join the ranks of those who had 'exposed' themselves on screen. Unfortunately for those who might have built their hopes up, the part in question is a dream sequence and lasts for all of five seconds. Oh, and all the participants are fully clothed. So you can open the curtains now, and put away the Vaseline, as you won't be needing it. Never mind..

To get to the main thrust of the plot.. Martine plays Tracy Pringle, a frustrated checkout girl who has dreams of living in the Far East. Sacked for being inattentive, she looks for another job and soon ends up as a waitress at an Persian restaurant owned by Iraqi Sam (Art Malik) and his two wives. At first, things are a bit strained between the couple but, encouraged by Sam's wives, a bond starts to develop between them.. Ultimately leading to marriage and becoming the third member of the harem. Sadly, Tracy's parents and her racist ex-boyfriend aren't exactly thrilled at the news, and scheme to win her back. Can love conquer all??

Based on a book, the plot of this sounds absolutely fascinating and, combined with the heavy trailering around the festive period, almost certainly has made it a Christmas hit. The treatment however, is nothing short of conventional, as the characters have all the depth of those in a soap opera. Key among these is Tracy's ex-partner, who has no distinguishing traits other than the ability to act like a complete bigoted idiot. It is very difficult to muster much interest in such boring people, and what started out as a fascinating expose of culture clashes quickly turns into a predictable melodrama as Sam meets with a nasty accident, and Tracy must save his children from an overzealous social worker. Special mention must also go to the ending, which manages to be stupid, implausible and insulting all at the same time. On the bright side, Martine's Cockney charm shines though, and the two other members of the harem are certainly hotties. Perhaps if things don't pick up for them career-wise, they will consider starring in something along the lines of the first paragraph. Now that really would be worth waiting for.. 4/10

Complete and utter rubbish!! Trying to understand the purpose behind this trash?? If it was education about Islam, then it was certainly a very false and distorted attempt. The guy is drinking and having group sex but very practising when it comes to the 4 wives rule because that's what it's all about...seriously! No doubt people like that exist who cherry pick what suits them, but it was clear that not much research had gone into the actual issue of polygamy . The strict laws and regulations about practising polygamy is not explored because no doubt it would have taken all the juice out of this project. This no doubt only serves to widen the misconceptions that non-muslims may have about Islam and such controversial (even in the Islamic world) issues or perhaps the aim was to just misguide even more. The storyline was so weak, felt like the writer was writing for the sake of writing. If the purpose was just wasting time in the name of entertainment then it served its purpose. Guess Martine McCutcheon couldn't get any other good roles to play so she had to settle for this rubbish. Not much research had even gone into the Iranian culture either which by the way is different to the Arabian culture of deserts, sand etc. How can I get back the two hours that I wasted on this garbage??

This has to be the worst TV Drama I have ever watched.

The story has nothing to do with the reality of the Islamic Culture or the concept of having up to four wives! I seriously can't understand what research has been carried out for this Drama.

It is an appalling attempt by the writer and actors, who have disgraced themselves in being involved in such a flop.

I thought Art Malik was beginning to pick up after his role in 'Holby City', however his acting was so poor in this drama that i wouldn't be surprised if this has taken away his chance of any progression. I think he seems to think that this is somewhat like the drama 'Stolen', which he previously acted in.....I'm afraid Art, Stolen was crap and this one was far far worse. I hope i don't see him on screen for a loooooooooonnnng time.

As for Martine, well she did a good job in Eastenders and that's about all.....we know that her 'only moment' .....was a huge failure proving that she couldn't sing and after her performance in this drama, i'd be confident to say that she can't act either.....i think Martine has just waved her so called career goodbye!!

The English Harem is a light, funny, moving drama, that will have you laughing one moment, and in tears the next. It follows Tracy, who lives with an Eastern fantasy, and lives in a dream world, she meets a man, who becomes her boss, she's intrigued by his harem.

I loved it, the performances are wonderful, Art Malik in particular, but the real success comes from the sheer loveliness and delicacy of Martine McCutcheon, I really wish she'd been more prolific, she's wonderful, feminine, sincere, beautiful, with an enigmatic smile. She's a delight to watch.

Don't read too much into the Islam slant, it's not a heavy religious based drama, it's just light hearted tale of love and escapism. There are some moments of racism, but those behind it are shown for the cowards they really are.

Loved it, 9/10.