Bastards

If I was programming a "cringe" film festival Bastards would be my opening night gala. For the most part this film is a tireless tirade of anti-globalization sentiment and dirty dreadlocks. The trees in this movie are less wooden than the actors, it's shot on video in a kind of amateur porno POV style and fearlessly goes nowhere. The clumsy comparison between 9/11 and clear cutting in British Columbia was enough to make you toss your granola bars.

It is ironic that this film through some kind of miracle of globalization and free flowing capital got funded and found distribution on TMN, Canada's poor cousin to HBO. It does make you think though, about going to bed.

Pointlessly shot in first person, this is an utter waste of film that for some reason has been appearing extremely regularly on Movie Central recently. The awful acting, mood-killing lighting, fade-happy editing and DOA script certainly do their best to pull the viewer completely out of this piece.

I was surprised to learn this film was directed by Mort Ransen, who was 70 years old at the time this film was made and directed the somewhat acclaimed "Margaret's Museum". The rampant self-indulgence in this film seems to suggest a young, inexperienced director trying to make a name for himself but the harsh reality is that it's an older, experienced director who somewhere along the line---probably around the time he said 'Okay, time to write Bastards'---forgot how to make a quality film.

So bad it's worth watching, but SO bad it's not worth watching for long.

I didn't find this movie as terrible as the rest of the reviewers, in fact it was kind of touching in a primitive kind of way. The main actress ("Liisa", one "i" would suffice) does overact, but she has a hypnotic face, she straddles the line between stunningly beautiful and strangely ugly, I can't decide which. The movie does seem like an old lonely hippy's wet dream though, but I did buy it. The ending is also pretty cool, despite the "pointless POV" that people write about, it's not considering the ending.

Kind of amateurish, slightly above a high school project, but the leftist rants are worth exploring as we move into the new century and consider the effects of globalisation and how they effect our every day lives.

This could easily be the worst film ever made. I had to force myself to watch half of it and even then I truly felt like killing myself. I have never encountered any such film in my life and hope to never again.

Not one part of this film was positive. The story was terrible, the acting was beyond terrible (You are likely to see the worst actress of all time in this film). I think its also safe to say that Mort Ransen should not be acting. Some of his earlier directorial projects were good, but what possessed him to make this film is beyond me.

What is even more shocking is that film industry funds, including from TeleFIlm Canada was invested into this horror of a film.

So if you really feel like convincing yourself to commit suicide then watch, or at least attempt to, watch this movie. If you do not enjoy torturing yourself then stay far far far away from this garbage, for the love of everything that holy.

People may think I'm crazy for giving this movie such a high rating, and you may be right. I'm not giving this movie an 8 for its acting, or its annoying camera angles but for its, well, quirkiness. Liisa Repo plays Finnie, an insane hippie who seems to be running away from, or to something. She protests across Canada, and has recurring dreams about it.

Finnie gives off an insane but hauntingly beautiful essence about her, which I can't decide is disgusting or something more positive. While I'm by no means saying this is an Oscar worthy film, its worth a view, even if you turn it off mid-way.