Le Hangar

Noonan is talented - check out his triple duty as the writer, director and star of 1994's WHAT HAPPENED WAS..., which features one of the most believable first kisses in movie history - so what in the world is he doing here? Either lending his star power to a needy friend, I suppose, or simply taking the money and running.

THE ROOST has absolutely nothing to recommend it. The writing, directing, acting, photography, effects, makeup and scares - they're all garbage. Even Noonan's own bit as the retro TV horror host is painfully lame, and the "shock" scenes are just a handful of uninspired shaky-cam attacks by some escapees from a WALKING DEAD convention.

You can - as I did - fast-forward through 90% of this sad excuse for a movie without missing anything, and the other 10% is equally worthy of oblivion.

And, please, can people stop hating on bats? The bat is a docile and remarkable creature without which we'd be up to our eyeballs in mosquitoes, and the vandalism of its habitats is an ignorant crime against nature.

Eeeeeeek...look, I'm a filmmaker too, so I'll try to be constructive...1.) get a better camera man. What's he doing the whole time, scratching his butt? Keep the camera still for Christ's sake! 2.) use more than just a key light to light your "actors" 3.) don't film dialog with the "actors" backs to the camera 3.) bring in your zombies before the 43 minute mark 4.) have at least one other person review your script before you shoot it, multiple drafts can be effective in developing meaningful dialog 5.) pay for better ADR services...if you paid even $1 you got ripped off 6.) give me the name of your agent ... if he can sell this piece of poop, he can sell ANYTHING!

But keep trying...I think you'll nail your next one...as long as you eed tips 1-5.

Today, we get a lot of movies that are supposed to be throwbacks to the 70's and 80's era of horror and exploitation. Usually, they get this wrong ("Malevolence", "Satan's Playground", "The Hazing", etc.), but sometimes, a movie gets it right. Fortunately, "The Roost" gets it right.

Opening with the type of horror movie host that you saw in the old days, "Roost" is actually a movie-within-a movie. The actually movie is nothing original: A group of friends car breaks down, they get stranded, and run into a deadly force (here it's bats that turn victims into zombie-like killers) While the premise and movie in a way is nothing that original, it works because of how it is all done. There is gore, but it's not a gore fest, as the movie focuses more on atmosphere and suspense (which fails on a few occasions) than gory slapstick gags and homages that can grow tiresome. Also effective is the way director sets up several scenes, including a sequence where a cop is attacked by bats. Adding to it is a wonderfully creepy screeching violin score, and some effective (but never over used) CGI effects involving the bats.

"The Roost" won't change the face of horror. It's not too original and the acting is mediocre at best. However, it's still a blast, and will be a treat to those who grew up going to see Grindhouse movies or who watched creaky, faded videos of horror movies.

While driving to the wedding of their friend Mike, Trevor (Karl Jacob), Brian (Sean Reid), Allison (Vanessa Horneff) and her brother Elliot (Wil Horneff) leave the main road and have an accident, and their car falls in a ditch in a lonely road. The quartet seeks for help in an empty farm, but Elliot and Trevor decides to walk further, leaving Brian and Allison waiting for them in the farm. They meet the highway patrol Officer Mitchell (John Speredakos) that brings them back to meet Brian and Allison. Meanwhile Brian decides to go to the barn, where he is attacked by vampire bats. When the group seeks for him in the barn, they are trapped inside by the killer bats that turn people into zombies.

"The Roost" is not a totally bad low-budget movie, actually it is tense and has good acting of the unknown cast. However, it is a short story that is extended in low-pace to last 80 minutes running time, and becomes boring in a certain moment. The conclusion and the silly black and white insertions with The Horror Host are awful. I do not know if the intention of the director / writer Ti West was to extend the feature or try to make it cult with the insertions, but the fact is that it does not work. My vote is four.

Title (Brazil): "Ataque dos Morcegos" ("Bats Attack")

This is such a typical "bad" attempt at making a horror film. The usual storyline: a group of random friends on a trip somewhere who take the wrong road, get lost, etc..etc...and find HORROR instead of a way back to the highway and anyone even remotely normal to help them. All of these people are hapless individuals who probably are fine in their regular lives...but put them in a rural setting...in the dark..with nothing..and OMG..they cannot function...alone or as a group. They spend endless amounts of time looking scared/confused/lost...and stupid in almost every scene. We should go..we should stay...OMG...what do we do NOW? And...they talk about it all the time...trying to make plans to do SOMETHING. If they go outside...SOMETHING will get them...in this case vampire bats are doing the terrorizing. Of course...they don't all stay together..one or two have to wander off...go look for help...get the car...they never should have left in the first place...blah, blah, blah. They know they made a mistake...and now...well..they have to deal with it...as one by one...they probably are all going to meet a gross and untimely death in some way. Tbe scenes are of poor quality..the lighting is bad...the reactions of the actors are even worse most of the time...over-acting is at the top of the list here. We don't cheer for any heroes...or find anything worth saving here as this film goes on and on and on. Yawn. If you played this one at an all night horror film festival...everyone would be asleep before the night even got started. Save the popcorn for something worthy...cos this one isn't even good enough to be found in a bargain bin at the dollar store.