The Room

Johnny, a man thanks to whom a bank makes lots of money, did not get his promotion but he's way too busy trying to be American by throwing footballs around at any given opportunity to really mind that. And he's also about to get married to Lisa who's in some computer business of some kind but she's having an affair with Mark, Johnny's best friend, who does not want to hurt Johnny but clearly can't help himself. Danny, Johnny and Lisa's young sexually confused neighbour who has problems of his own somewhat related to drugs and football fetching, doesn't suspect a thing although he's always hovering about and is also in love with Lisa but would rather watch Lisa and Johnny in bed when he's not fetching Johnny's balls. The only person who knows what is afoot between Johnny and Lisa is Lisa's mother who begs her daughter to come to her senses but in vain since no one listens to her and... she's dying... since she DEFINITELY has breast cancer (which is okay since "they're curing people everyday"). Confused? Well don't be...

And welcome to the wondrous world of "The Room". This is a world from the breathtaking lack of imagination of Tommy Wiseau, the least appealing man ever to walk this Earth; a world where people play football in tuxedo, have the same conversations again and again due to their 5 minutes memory, make babies by humping belly buttons in the middle of rose petals and finally enter and exit places without any other reason than to do just that.

Indeed, this is probably one of the worst film ever made but as opposed to any other cinematic turd, this one is hardly ever dull (except for the "sex" scenes maybe), the aimless plot driven through one stupidity to the other by the on-par grammar-school writing delivering gems galore ("I'm so happy I have you as my best friend and I love Lisa so much", "I'm tired. I'm wasted. I love you darling"), the final broth served by inept performances (for want of a better word) from its cast. This is truly the most inspired disaster ever committed to screen.

But what I find the most interesting about the "The Room" is its maker Tommy Wiseau. "The Room" is a window into his confused psyche because make no mistake folks: Tommy IS Johnny. And what are we told about Johnny? Well that "he's very caring about the people in his life", provides for his girlfriend, "is very sensitive", "doesn't drink", "has a very secure situation" and has nice pecs. Quite a catch wouldn't you say ladies? On paper possibly... Because everything about his persona seems phoney: his accent which is a mix of anyone's that ever walk this planet whom couldn't speak English, his over-sized suit, his dark, long and way too greasy hair, his geriatric body posture, his re-shaped and re-muddled face and, above all, his completely dry and humourless laughter (and not in a sarcastic way either). Such a penchant for dissimulation is downright creepy and I must admit, the physical repulsion he exerts on me is the stuff fascination is made of.

The fact that "The Room" has gathered such a cult following is no surprise. In the oh-so jaded times we're living in, celebrating the mediocre, talentless and pointless have become all the rage with the recipient of the mockery confusing infamy with fame. There is something both pathetic and a little unsettling about how Tommy Wiseau regards the cynical interests his movie has attracted for a genuine recognition of his talent.

Mind you, I suppose Mr Wiseau can take pride in the fact that "The Room" will go down in Cinema history. But as what?

Okay - quality of the movie [0/10] Enjoyability of the movie [10/10]

Total paradox, right?

This is the absolute pinnacle of bad story, bad dialogue, bad editing, bad plot.. I mean, I'm saying 'bad' like there actually is any of these elements within the film. The editing makes no sense, it seems randomly cut with continuity errors, there are lines like 'What's going on with the candles and the music' when there ARE NO candles or music.. The entire thing is absurd. But what makes it truly unique is that it was done entirely seriously, this is not a tongue in cheek production like low budget bad movies that know they are catering to an audience who expect to laugh at the poor effects and story.. No, this man, Tommy Wuseau, honestly, genuinely thought he was crafting his magnum opus, masterpiece of cinema.

Is it good? Absolutely, definitely not.

However - as a movie EXPERIENCE. I watched this with some of my family, warning them it was terrible, but we had one of the funniest, most incredible bonding experiences in cinematic history - As we collectively picked apart every camera angle, wobbly set, insane use of props, costume, music that skips, repeats, continuity, edits, plot and dialogue. There is not one redeeming moment in the entire movie. Even if there is a single well crafted line (there isn't) it would have to be spoken by either a terrible actor or by Tommy himself, who's accent sounds like it was in a European car crash . We all laughed until it HURT, and for that.. I have to give the experience a 10/10. I've never enjoyed a movie more with friends and family more than this one.. EVER.

I head that the experience is similar in theatres that still show this film for precisely this reason. Everybody dresses up as their favourite character, recites every line and throws spoons at the screen every time one inexplicably ends up on screen (it's a lot.. is there a reason behind this 'artistic' decision. No. There is no reason for anything)

There is more and more to notice about this film every time I watch it.. Most recently, how the architecture of the building makes no sense whatsoever. They appear to be on the ground floor, but exiting from the other side causes them to end up on the roof - at night. It's things like this that could inspire a PhD in studying the intricate insanity and entirely non sequitur values of every moment in The Room.

Do I recommend it? Well.. how can I not. Everyone needs to see this movie at least once, after a couple of drinks and with friends. It's even funnier than Weekend at Bernies after taking magic mushrooms.

I almost died laughing from a hypoxic brain injury, unable to catch my breath - narrowly avoiding giggling myself into a coma.

The finest abdominal workout video ever made.

Possibly the most entertaining CRAP film of all time, beating out "From Justin to Kelly," and every movie starring Steven Segal. Note: you must be in the presence of a large heckling audience and/or under the influence to enjoy this movie. Although Tommy "What the hell am I saying?" Wiseau may be lauding his film as reminiscent of Tennessee Williams, the closest it comes to anything I've seen by Williams is that I had to get up to pee three times during it. Crap writing, Crap acting, Crap directing...but the movie as a whole? So deliciously crap that it can only be considered CRAPTASTIC!

Nobody seems to know where Tommy is from, although the consensus seems to be somewhere in Eastern Europe. So I have decided to consider his point of origin, Ridiculouslovania.

Have we been sending out the wrong signals? Is this really what Ridiculouslovanians think about us? I never stand three feet from my friends and toss a football. Never. Unless I am making fun of "THE ROOM."

This film tells the story of a man who will be marrying his girlfriend of seven years. However, his girlfriend seems not to settle for what she has.

I would not have known about this film if not for "The Disaster Artist". Seriously, the sets are bad, the lighting is bad, the camera angles are bad, the camera is mostly static, the acting is horrible, and the story is just bad. The plot is so thin that it almost appears to be a soft core film. It is worse than a B film. It is so bad that I laughed out loud several times, such as the infamous bottle throwing scene, or when Jack throws the girlfriend on the sofa, or the fight in the party. And could they have at least filmed on a real rooftop, instead of the fake computer generated scenery? The acting is so bad, most of the characters are wooden, except the mother who has a quite a character. The film is so bad that it becomes good. I do recommend it.

I can't think of anything good to say about this movie, other than I enjoyed every single second of it. It's actually so bad that it entertains effortlessly.