Penetration Angst

I saw director Wolfgang Büld's 'Twisted Sisters' not too long ago, and thought it was a decent little twisted flick. This earlier film, however, makes Twisted Sisters look like The Sound of Music - as they don't get much weirder and completely nonsensical than Penetration Angst! The plot obviously takes its main plot point from the idea of a woman's anxiety when it comes to having sex for the first time. It could be said that this is a 'feminist' film, although personally I very much doubt that was on the director's mind...even if he does seem to have a thing men faring badly when it comes to sex (judging by the two films I've seen from him). The plot focuses on a young lady named Helen. Helen is raped one night in a car, and is surprised when her attacker disappears! It soon transpires that he has, in fact, disappeared into her; and Helen then finds herself with an insatiable thirst for men. Meanwhile, a man named Dennis, whom Helen knows, begins dating a Siamese twin...a love story with disastrous consequences.

If there's one thing that can definitely be said about this film, it's that it makes you think about things you'd never normally think about! The thought of the implications and logistics of having sex with Siamese twins never entered my head before seeing this film! There's a heavy dose of humour, and the director seems to really enjoy throwing in a barrage of ridiculous ideas. The acting is mostly atrocious, and the dubbing is even worse; but clearly the star of the show is the plot, which is always enough of a distraction. As if a (literally) hungry vagina isn't enough of a silly reason for a film; the other plot line, while somewhat more possible, is no less stupid! There are a couple of decent scenes in the movie, and one of them involves Siamese twins and an electric knife! The film isn't really all that gory, but there's plenty of slutty women and whatnot. It all boils down to a conclusion that (somehow) manages to bring everything together, and while this is the sort of film that will very much divide opinion; I'd recommend it to anyone that doesn't mind incoherency and ridiculousness so long as there's fun to be had.

"Penetration Angst" is a low budget British film, made in 2003 by Wolfgang Buld. Until I stumbled across this little gem on the new UK Horror Channel a few years ago, I hadn't even been aware it existed. Now it's been catapulted to the heights of one of my low budget guilty pleasures, an area populated by the likes of "Hot Love", "Bride of Frank", etc.

This is a film that's a fine cocktail of modern horror, comedy and low-brow humour. There are some areas which plough the depths of bad taste - in short, it's thoroughly enjoyable. That's the beauty of the low budget film - no big studios that require satisfaction, just good old independent movie making with a good slice of originality and an eye for the all-night horror convention audience's tastes. Yep, I loved this film. Sat in the comfort of my armchair, I knew from the very start that this was one of those films that showed 2 big fingers to the world of Hollywood horror and instead decided to concentrate on a thoroughly British tale of armed robbery, Siamese twins and a woman with a man-eating vagina.

The star of the movie, Fiona Horsey, is very easy on the eye. In fact, she's a compete babe. A great new talent and hopefully a name to watch out for in the future.

To describe the plot details would spoil the surprises. If you have a chance, grab the film when you can and sit down with friends and a few beers and give it a go. If you're a fan of "Bad Taste", "Bride of Frank" or "Basket Case", I think you'll like this film...a lot.

If you are looking for something "leftfield" and not too serious, then this is the film for you. It's not going to win any awards for acting and the script is at times wayward and unnecessary but it's fun nonetheless. I probably would have enjoyed this more if they had cut the running time down to around 60-70 minutes and therefore cutting out chunks that were just padding out the film (the cellar scene and most of the last segment of film in particular). I've given this film 6 out of 10 because for me it wasn't sharp enough at times and it seemed to lose it's way towards the end. Otherwise it's a worthy watch and throws up some memorable scenes.

FEED ME !

Am I the only one to think that this is a bad movie?

I admit that horror movies often lack things like a big story or good acting or even good special effects. But the way these deficiencies come together in this movie is surprisingly pitiful.

Miserable story: The idea of a raped vagina that takes revenge by turning into a man eater sounds quite funny, but what the writer made out of it is stupid.

Bad acting: The actors move like marionettes. They play and look like people, who really try hard but completely fail to act.

Bad FX: Especially the explosion of the Van looks unspeakably cheap.

It is surprising that a director who made some nice movies during his carrier changes over to such messy stuff.

A traumatic childhood experience has left attractive brunette Helen (Fiona Horsey) with serious intimacy issues, but matters are made much worse when she is raped by her boyfriend and finds that she possesses the sexual equivalent of the Bermuda Triangle between her legs—any man who dares venture near her voracious vagina vanishes without trace! After a catastrophic visit to the gynaecologist that sees her cooch claim another victim, the distraught Helen leaves for London, with concerned love-struck loser Dennis (Paul Conway) in hot pursuit.

Not content with Penetration Angst simply exploring the age-old vagina dentata myth, writer/director Wolfgang Büld also sees fit to add several equally bizarre subplots, including Dennis's awkward relationship with Siamese twin Sylvia (Amy Steel), and a pub stripper planning an armed robbery on the Isle of Wight; the result is a chaotic, darkly humorous film full of violence and nudity (with Horsey spending much of her time naked) that delivers messed-up madness by the bucket-load, but which tries a touch too hard to accommodate every twisted idea that Büld could come up with.

At 102 minutes long, the film ultimately outstays its welcome (it could do with being at least fifteen minutes shorter) but not before delivering such delightfully deranged moments as Dennis accidentally shagging Sylvia's sister and separating the girls with an electric bread-knife, a man pulled tongue first into Helen's insatiable snatch (which moans 'Feeed meee' just like Audrey II in The Little Shop of Horrors), a newlywed Helen being humped by her father-in-law (with inevitable results), and Dennis applying yogurt to his sun-burnt bell-end.