Le ventre de la bête

Contains Spoilers. (Like it matters) Steven Seagal is a miracle. Somehow he has made a career making the same film over and over and this is no exception.

In my opinion he is a comic genius and a shrewd businessman, he's so good he has everyone thinking he's an action star. He is master of hypnotism. When you see a DVD of his on the shelf you are always drawn to it. You read the blurb. Ex CIA agent (John/Jack/Jake, or my favourite Forrest Taft) seeks revenge on everyone for kidnapping/murder of family/environment/hostages/nuclear weapons.

You inevitably rent it and proceed to cry with laughter. In this film Seagal, jumps through a train, fights a Ladyboy(!), beats 5 ninjas just by turning around a lot and best of all slicing an arrow clean in half with a sword.

Although this film deserves special praise for giving Seagal some nookie and the chance to find a secret message hidden on a woman's breasts.

After years of trying he may have finally made his masterpiece something to rival Under Siege 2 and all those films that had three word titles, for example; Out For Justice, Hard To Kill, Above the Law, On Deadly Ground and Fire Down Below.

This is comedy to rival Chaplin, Keaton and Jean Claude Van-Damme.

Continuing my plan to watch every Steven Seagal movie, I come to Belly Of The Beast (2003)

On a whole, it is actually a whole lot better than you'd expect. The plot is a bit confusing, there are some huge plot holes and the wore work is more than a tad silly at times.

This is the first time is Seagal looks bloated, and his close ups are mostly framed to cut out his chin and hairline

But he still looks like he can kick ass. His wardrobe is on the ridiculous side again but he does seem like he still cares (I think it was Evan who said it previously) even if he uses stunt doubles and is dubbed at times.

I didn't like how the right scenes were shot (especially nor the one in the market) clearly not Seagal doing most of it.

I really like the Buddhist monk who was Seagal's friend. He was awesome, a great sidekick for Seagal. I didn't like the ending for his character at all.

Director Siu-Tung Ching filmed most of the action scenes without the involvement of Seagal, opting to film his shots last, but conflict arose when Seagal insisted on filming his shots in a way that wouldn't accommodate the existing footage. Ching is said to have left the set, taking his stunt crew with him and welcoming Seagal to finish the scene by himself. This infuriated the producers, who convinced Seagal to go along with Ching's approach.

All in all, ridiculous and totally implausible, but a watchable dtv flick.

Even though Steven Seagal has made movies who are much worse than this, this is still far from being his best work. I wonder if the whole movie was made just for self-ironical reasons (remember, Seagal fortunately has a lot of self-irony). The main problem is that Seagal is too fat too be a real action-star right now. Some of the fights in this movie still are pretty cool, but there are just something that isn't there. Maybe it's because some of the fights are so overdone so that everyone know that it isn't Mr.Seagal doing most of it anyway? The worst part about the fighting is the roundhouse kicks. Even though they're rather cool, they're as far from the typical Seagal fighting style that it's possible to be. And you never see Steven's face when these are performed..........................

The story is standard, but that's totally OK. No one cares too much about that anyway in a movie like this. This is in fact one of Seagal's best movies after "Exit Wounds". That doesn't mean that this one is any good, because some of the others are pure garbage.

Whether it was blind ego or genuine good humour on Seagal's part that allowed this title to be attached to the barrel-shaped action star's latest film, we may never know, as I can't see any interviewers being willing to ask. It's even possible that he came up with it himself, as he's given a writing credit. Though to be honest, a cinematography, direction or casting credit would have been more impressive, as the 'plot' is by far the most hopeless thing about this otherwise surprisingly polished but cliche-ridden corpse-fest.

Then again, it's the script's occasional flashes of sheer madness that make it worth watching. From the random tomato/fish/cleaver death scene early on to the head-spinning ladyboy fight and descent into voodoo lunacy during the climax, it keeps you on your toes, at least. Never seems to bother Seagal, though, whose single expression (constipation) remains fixed in place whether he's frantically fending off gangs of swordsmen with his bare hands, displaying primal fatherly angst over the inevitable kidnapping of his daughter or getting frisky with a hero-worshipping Thai girl less than half his age. Yes, you read that right, and yes, you will feel personally violated when it happens.

The other redeeming feature of the film - apart from the unusually high quality of the direction and camerawork, which gets full mileage out of what must have been a pretty limp budget - is the use of body doubles, which is some of the most blatant ever committed to film and all the more entertaining for it. Seagal *does* actually get more action in this film than in his last three or four combined, but it's still hilarious when he suddenly breaks off from his usual shot-from-the-shoulders-up slappy-hand business to launch into an impromptu flying spin kick, shedding about a third of his body weight in the process.

As long as you're not expecting gritty realism, you'll probably enjoy this as much as any other DTV kickathon on the shelves at the moment, and certainly more than the last couple of brain cell killers that Seagal's put out. Unfortunately Seagal himself is more visibly the weak link in the chain than ever before, with his action chops paling in comparison to those of both his co-star and main adversary, and his acting chops paling in comparison to his fridge. The sight of Thailand's entire criminal underworld taking turns to fly thirty feet through the air and crash into an exploding crate would be far more entertaining if it wasn't an overweight man in his fifties dishing out the damage, especially one who still refuses to take a single scratch in return. Still, one thing you have to give him credit for is not teaming up with any poxy rappers in this one.

I cannot remember a recent "Steven Segal" movie in the cinema, or anywhere near publicised. The last one even close was "Half Past Dead", a mediocre yet fun action flick about Alacatraz if my memory serves correctly.

I rented "Belly of The Beast" for some Friday-night fun. And that is exactly what I got. Endlessly terrible and cheesy but fantastic at the same time, this is Steven Segal reaching new lo's in acting but highs in martial arts and action sequences. He kicks the hell out of anything he see's in bloodthirsty fashion, in some very inventive and surprisingly sadistic fashion (in one scene, he pushes a guy in hugely OTT fashion across a line of fish in ice-cubes into a meat hook- the '15' UK certificate is questionable). But still, this manages to be fun.

The plot is non-existent, as it turns in predictably bad fashion in any excuse to get Segal fighting, but this is hopeful- it proves this 50 year old overweight guy may have something left in him.

3 out of 5