Arachnid (2001)
4 out of 10 stars Time to Read: 2:20 min
BASIC PLOT:
A pilot, some scientists, a few natives, and some mercenaries, go into the jungle... They all go for different reasons, but they all find the same thing. It's death, and it's form is arachnid!
WHAT WORKS:
*SPECIAL EFFECTS ARE AWESOME! For a low budget monster movie, I was impressed by the sophistication of the special effects. They are good enough to be believed, and there's not too much CGI, and what there is really works. It's definitely a throwback to old school monster movies, and that's a good thing!
*DR LEON'S VOICE IS AWESOME!
José Sancho has the most beautiful voice, it's like cotton candy to my ears. I could listen to him talk for hours, he should do books on tape.
WHAT DOESN'T WORK:
*LOREN MERCER IS A B*TCH Mercer's (
Alex Reid) insipid whining makes her the most unlikable character, but we're supposed to believe Valentine (
Chris Potter) is attracted to her? Why? There's no reason why he would be, so a lot of the movie doesn't make sense.
*DR. LEON'S CONSTANT SQUABBLING WITH MERCER HAS NO POINT It also doesn't make sense. Yeah, she's a b*tch, but there's never a real reason given as to why they are always fighting.
*THE SOUND IS TERRIBLE especially in the opening scenes. I don't know if this was just on the platform I was using (Tubi), or if it's that way on the DVD too, parts were almost unwatchable.
*IT FEELS LIKE THE NATIVES ARE JUST HERE TO GET ATE and that's not cool.
*WHY DOES SUSANA SUDDENLY FREAK OUT, when she's been chill as a cucumber for the entire movie? It's stupid! Susana (
Neus Asensi) has been the voice of reason, putting Mercer in her place, and remaining calm when no one else does, throughout the entire movie. Why then, would she suddenly freak out, and run screaming into danger?
*HENRY CAPRI - ARACHNOLOGIST, SHOULD HAVE MADE IT Henry Capri (
Ravil Isyanov), the quirky spider guy, who looks like Squiggy from
Laverne & Shirley (1976), should have made it. It seems like throughout the movie, the people you want to make it, don't, and the people who irritate you, do.
*THEY KILL THE MAMA SPIDER, but leave the eggs, soon to hatch into babies? Capri says if only one gets loose, it could destroy the human race, but they go off and leave 100's of eggs, when they could just as easily set them on fire. WTH?
TO RECOMMEND, OR NOT TO RECOMMEND, THAT IS THE QUESTION:
*This is a remake of the 1957 Lon Chaney Jr. Classic,
The Cyclops (1957), (available on Tubi). If you like monster movies, I'd recommend watching both, so you can compare. They both are very low budget, but that's part of the fun. The special effects in
Arachnides (2001) are much better than they should be, elevating it out of obscurity. It's a fun way to turn your brain off, but only watch and rate if you enjoy silly, low budget, monster fun. If not, go listen to NPR, or something.
CLOSING NOTES:
*THIS IS A LOW BUDGET MONSTER MOVIE, please keep that in mind before you watch/rate it. These types of movies have a much lower budgets, and so your expectations should be adjusted.
*I HAVE NO CONNECTION TO THE FILM, or production in ANY way. This review was NOT written in full, or in part, by a bot. I am just an honest viewer, who wishes for more straight forward reviews (less trolls and fanboys), and better entertainment. Hope I helped you out.
