How to Train a Dog

Bob Benchley's short films are some of the funniest ever made. Turner Classic Movies has played a few of them including How to Train a Dog, which I have on tape. The kids all love it, and I'm sure that if someone put a complete video together of all these wonderful shorts before they are lost, it would provide many hours of fun and an appreciation of one of America's true funny men.

Robert Benchley is in a pet store. He comes home with an arm load of puppies and one giant dog. He tries to train them, but he only shows what not to do.

Maybe Benchley is not able. He is an older guy. This is set up for him chasing after those doggies or get run over by them. I was very concerned when he brought out the giant whip with the tiny puppy. I know that it's meant to be visually hilarious. I'm not sure that dog lovers would find it funny. The easiest joke is for Benchley to be overwhelmed by the puppy chaos. He has a giant dog laying on him. Imagine if he had a dozen dogs laying on him. That's funny.

I luckily caught this short on TCM as I had forgotten how much I enjoyed Benchley's observations. Benchley goes to a pet store and acquires new puppies; the focus of the rest of the story is on a Scottie. He tries to teach the Scotie to roll over and ends up rolling over himself much to the amusement, he says, to the puppy. The best bit is when he tells the audience not to drink alcohol when training because under the influence a trainer is apt to get too optimistic and is apt to think he has trained the dog better than he has. There's then an animation sequence of a well trained dog. The whole short is amusing and a reminder when funny didn't have to be vulgar. It was also an interesting short for featuring a Scottie, for I remember a time - long ago - when Scotties were very popular. Haven't seen a Scottie in years but they sure were cute dogs.

Robert Benchley buys a dog and tries to train it. He is not successful.

As a dog owner myself, I have endeavored to teach my dog not to pee or poop in the house and to be a friendly animal. This involves a lot of treats, which I give her willingly. It's other people who have tried to teach her various tricks, as if this will enable her to get a good job when she graduates from a good college. Then there are the other people who want to know what breed she is. When I tell them she is a mutt, this upsets them, so I have taken to claiming she is a purebred Flatbush Schnoodlehound, and that they were bred to fight the alligators in New York's sewers.

This seems to content most of the people who think a dog should be well educated and have a purpose in life. Any dog owner knows that a dog will train you at least as much as you train him or her, and is quite happy with it. As, I suspect, are the various people who wrote this short for Mr. Benchley.

Another MGM "How To" comedy short starring Robert Benchley. In this one Benchley amusingly discusses buying and training dogs. Cute stuff but not one of Benchley's best. There really weren't any laugh-out-loud funny moments. Still, these old shorts are fun and have a lot of "window into the past" moments that I enjoy.