Julie and the Cadillacs

I have just had the privilege of viewing this film(sic). It was sceduled in the middle of the night on a minority British TV channel (Channel 5) in a slot normally reserved for truly awful films. However this film(sic) has been severely overbilled in this slot. It is an insult to those truly awful films normally billed in this slot that this effort has been billed in their place.

This movie(sic) is truly top class trash. In the early seventies the Dutch football team, Ajax of Amsterdam, played the most amazing football and were crowned European Champions for three years running (1970/71/72). The amazing football they played was given the name "total football" for the sheer brilliance it portrayed. Well I want to give this film(sic) the honour of being known as "total trash" for the sheer brilliance of top class trash perveyed in this masterpiece.

The songs and rock(sic) numbers are trash. The main song ("Teaser" which is sung several times) is a straight ripoff (and not a very good ripoff) of a great Beatles rock classic ("Birthday").

Some of the older character actors in this film(sic) had already established their reputations before they appeared in this film()sic but the younger up and coming stars have sunk without trace after making the hideous mistake of appearing in this disaster.

Please IMDB, have mercy on all those associated with this film(sic) and expunge it from your records. Nobody deserves to have this effort on their CV.

Finally I have a message for a previous contributor known as eleven-2. I can only assume sir, that you were being totally ironic in your previous comments but if not I would love to know what substances you were using when you saw this mess of a film(sic). Please enlighten us so that we can all enjoy the benefit of having our minds expanded in such a way that we perceive top class trash as pure gold.

This film has to be the worst British film ever made and quite what the hugely talented Victor Spinetti, the gorgeous Toyah and the brilliant (and hugely underused) Peter Polycarpou are doing in it is beyond me.

From start to finish the numbers are dire, the script is rubbish, the editing is monstrous and the direction is non-existent.

If ever there was a plan B from outer space in musical form this is it. Get the video if only to enjoy the discomfort of everyone in it.

What were they thinking about?

The film was released in the UK without previews. The only sane solution if you've been one of the very few to have the honour, nay privilege, of seeing this masterpiece in a cinema.

Would others please join me in demanding an immediate release on video.

If you haven't seen this - rent a print, hire a screening room, get some beers and wait for lift off.

The guy taking tickets at the Birmingham cinema where 11-2 (junior) saw J&TC's was incredulous that someone had bought tickets (that afternoon there were a grand total of 4 in the cinema).

I'd like to start a Julie and The Cadillacs Appreciation Society ----- Is there anybody else out there?

J & the C is a film of quite extraordinary tackiness. Had the film's marketing department (if there was one) been imaginative enough, they would have labelled the film as "Britain's answer to Grease". Lucky for the British they didn't, because this is a badge of shame for everyone associated with it. I feel ashamed, and I only watched it.

The plot is painfully contrived, the characterisation awful, the acting worse than your local am-dram society performance of Oliver! (with the exception of Thora Hird's 30-second appearance) and the songs... oh, the songs.

I attended the premiere of J & the C in London's Haymarket. Before the film started I developed a sincere feeling of dread that the derivative, inane tunes the cinema was playing over its sound system might be the soundtrack to the film. It couldn't be, I thought. Surely not.

Bad as the songs were to listen to, however, they were even worse to watch, thanks to the teeth-grindingly bad choreography and ghastly expressions on the singers' faces. Seeing as these songs were the film's selling point, it's a marvel that the producers managed to find any funding at all.

If there is any enjoyment to be had from this film, it could only be in an ironic sense. In any case, it is unlikely that it will ever be seen again by anyone, and remains only as a monument to the follies of the British film industry.

Julie And The Cadillacs is a less than average musical with a tortured plot and some cringeworthy acting. The fact that Toyah Willcox is in it gives some idea of the film's quality for it is the same Toyah Willcox who can't sing, act or even speak properly; and wasn't she in that awful Quadrophenia? Anyway, despite the many negatives of the film, Julie And The Cadillacs has a certain sardonic something which will keep the viewer's eyes on the screen. Spotted by a slimey PR man in a Liverpool club, Julie Carr (the blond and almost beautiful Tina Russell) and her backing band The Cadillacs travel down to London to cut a record. They meet various characters during their big-time adventure, all of whom burst into song at some point, usually when least expected. And most of those songs seem to have been written in under ten minutes by a five year old. The exception is a number called Saw A Boy which is unnervingly quite decent and this is just as well because the song is performed three times during the film. The trials and tribulations of the band's attempt to grab stardom is really quite boring and the story twists and turns like a perfectly straight line. Julie And The Cadillacs is a film that you really must see but one that you really must never see more than once.