Feeders

I heard that this movie, Feeders, was so bad that it had to be seen to be believed. I saw and now I believe. From the early Commodore Amiga computer graphics, to the stupid goofy looking alien creatures, this movie takes the grand prize in the crappy film category. No, I didn't forget about the cheesy acting, nor the fact that the background music blared loudly and drowned out much of the dialog. To sum it up, this movie really sucked.

This has to be, hands down, the cheapest movie I have ever seen. They couldn't have spent $50 on this turkey. The computer effects look like an Atari 2600 game and the alien creatures look like sock puppets. I found it amusing that the puppet-aliens were always eating people even though they did not appear to have mouths. Fans of really bad movies will probably enjoy this, as I sort of did, but everyone else is advised to stay far away.

Ohh, Feeders.

I've posted some other comments here, but for some reason (though I've referenced this film in them) I haven't come back to this little beauty.

Feeders.

It must have been 96 or so, because dates escape me in my age (and from all the gasoline-milk mixtures I've had over that time), and my sister and I saw this . . . apocryphal miracle in the new releases section of a more-than-common video rental chain. How could we not have rented it?

Feeders. How I miss thee.

It's been a while since I've seen this, so bear with me. Lemme see. Some Commodore 64 special effects, hastily scribbled onto the film strip, signal that aliens have arrived . . . with the noble intention of brutally eating everyone they come across . . . or to burst out of their bellies . .. or to use 'lasers' to raze the whole planet . . . or to impersonate one of the heroic characters . . . any one, or all of these may be their master plan. Since obviously a higher power spurred the creation of this film, who am I to question the intricacies of the plot, me a simple heathen?

My absolute favorite scene is the one with the fat truck driver (well, he might not drive a truck, but I do recall him being obese). This man gets mauled by a 'feeder', and is rescued by the 'heroes', who rush him to a 'doctor', where he 'dies'. I say 'dies' because, as the doctor ceremonially intones 'I'm sorry, this man is dead', and reverently pulls a sheet over his body, THE MAN IS STILL OBVIOUSLY BREATHING -- QUITE DEEPLY! YOU CAN SEE THE SHEET MOVE, PEOPLE!!! Oh, but maybe that's a signal that the alien inside of him is about to burst out, via the magic of uber-superimposed (uberimposed?) post-production editing. The wound, literally, does not overlay the body. It is uberimposed.

Feeders . . . the one. The only.

Two other points -- one being the blowtorching of a 'feeder', which must have been the final scene, seeing as though the feeder puppet is totally ruined, which must have made the special-effects whiz who made it cry like a baby for hours and hours, what, not being told ahead of time that his hand-crafted buddy would be cauterized in such a horrible manner. And the straight-out-of 'Night of the Living Dead' scene with the corpse at the top of the stairs . . . and I mean that as in 'This Scene was directly sheared from the reel of Night of The Living Dead and messily inserted into Feeders', straight-out-of Night of the Living Dead . . .

Feeders . . . where for art thou on DVD? For I would own thee, verily, in a fortnight.

I heard there's a sequel. Taking place during Christmas. But I'll be a Warlord of the Deep if I can't find it here. Or something.

In summary, I would like to say that this movie is apocalyptical; to be collegiate (if at all), I use that term in it's original Greek sense, meaning, rending of the veil. If you see this film, firstly consider yourself lucky. That also means you might have seen other beauties, such as Parts: The Clonus Horror, or Judgment Night, or Rana: The Secret of Shadow Lake, or some other, horrible poison that I haven't sampled yet. And two, realize that, having seen it, you can never go back to how it was before. Now your veil has been torn asunder, and the guttural truth of life pours through . . . Feeders will ruin you, like it did me, with the fact that there are movies like this, being made by people, for some reason or another, and that the only solace comes from either seeing more or drinking the ever popular milkoline.

Feeders. God how I miss you.

Sometimes, I have to admit that I've fallen in love with a piece of crap. Fred Olen Ray's "Scalps" is a damn fine example. But, listen and listen well: "Feeders" really is every bit as bad as people say. What does one need to know? Aliens invade to eat people, and the budget is so low that they couldn't even afford to do fake-ass gore right. I hoped there would be some humor, at least. People making movies featuring obvious stuffed toys as threatening forces out to devour the Earth... these people should know that with a comical twist, it could have had a chance at being at least a grade-Z classick. But what is there to "Feeders"? There's no entertaining elements OTHER THAN those damn alien dolls with big plastic eyes. Even the gore is at such a bare minimum (as well as an ultimate pinnacle of ineptitude), that it loses all its effect and just becomes another boring, crappy part of this boring, crappy movie, with one of the worst scores EVER in a film. I know porn scores that would've worked better. In fact, I know of porn MOVIES that worked better, and, no, there is no nudity or sex, either. There is ABSOLUTELY no reason to see this, unless you just have to, like I did. Just make sure you rent it at a VERY reasonable price, because you will live to regret doing anything other than making yourself sit through it once for your cash. A real turd!

Ed Wood wrote a script over the top and cheesy-Feeders script is downright bare-bones stinky and laughable. Ed Wood took at least a few actors with some ability and ended up with a bunch of Michael Kaines compared to this film! I work at a video store and this is the only film in the 4 years I've worked there where someone came in upset saying they wanted their money back---To quote the gentleman "This is the worst piece of **** I have ever seen" Because of that, I checked it out-and have done so numerous times to show to friends and watch the disbelief on their faces.