- John: Hey, by the way, Nicky, check this out, what's Ozzy tryin' to say there?
- Nicky: John, absolutely nothing, the blizzard always came straight with his messages, but wrap your minds around this, gentlemen.
- [Pulls out a Chicago album]
- Nicky: Chicago!
- Todd: I love this song.
- Voice Of The Demons: I command you in the name of Lucifer to spread the blood of the innocent!
- Peter: Oh my God, Chicago kicks ass!
- Nicky: I'm from the South. The Deep South.
- Lucifer: Even in Hell, I get no respect.
- Jimmy the Demon: You were gone ten seconds, what happened?
- Nicky: I got hit by this big light that was attached to a lot of metal.
- Satan: That's a train, son, don't stand in front of them.
- Nicky: Well, I'll have to take a mulligan on this one.
- Mr. Beefy: Put it in your mouth. Now move your teeth up and down. Up and down. Good, numb-nuts. Now you gotta swallow it. Just tilt your head back and let the meat slide down your throat hole. Easy, don't choke.
- Nicky: [Nicky swallows the chicken tender] Popeye's chicken is fucking awesome!
- Mr. Beefy: Uh-huh. Now, eat up. You're gonna need your energy.
- Nicky: I got energy up the yin-yang! Let's go save dad! Adrian! Cassius!
- [he gets hit by a bus]
- Mr. Beefy: Oh, boy.
- Son: [about Nicky] Who's that man, Mommy?
- Mom: I dunno, but he sure is butt-ugly.
- Regis Philbin: So, I was driving to work today. Some bozo in a Cadillac cuts me off. So, I followed him. When he got out of his car, I run up behind this guy and I start bashing his brains in with this bat! Did you ever see The Untouchables? I was DeNiro!
- Todd: [opens can of Coca Cola and takes a sip] This coke tastes like Pepsi.
- Satan: I'm sorry. After careful consideration, I regretfully have to decline.
- Dan Marino: C'mon, man, I'm just asking, let me win one Superbowl.
- Satan: In exchange for eternal damnation of your soul? You're too nice of a guy for me to want to do that to you, Mr. Marino.
- Dan Marino: You did it for Namath.
- Satan: Yeah, but Joe was coming here anyways.
- Dan Marino: This sucks. I'll just go to the Superbowl as an announcer, and I'll win myself an Emmy!
- Satan: That's the spirit!
- Nicky: You're a good devil, dad.
- Satan: And I also happen to be a Jets fan.
- Nicky: Release the good.
- [shoots rainbows out of hands and group of bunnies appear]
- Nicky: Yes, they're furry.
- Demon: Bunny, Bunny, Bunny, Bunny!
- Demon: Popeye's chicken is the shiznit!
- Valerie: Do it for the butterflies!
- Deacon: The Hell Beast is above us and I can smell an evil slut!
- [he gets hit by a blown-up fire hydrant]
- Deacon: Whoa, Devil!
- Valerie: Did you do that?
- Nicky: Nobody calls my girl an evil slut.
- Mr. Beefy: [shoots an arrow out of his penis and hits Adrian] Now that hurt the both of us.
- Nicky: I never been to Earth, Dad! I never even slept over some other dude's house!
- Adrian: At the stroke of midnight, my father will be completely deteriorated and all your souls will be mine. Soon you will see things more horrible than you can even imagine!
- [stops... sees Nipples dancing erotically]
- Adrian: Well... maybe not that horrible... but still pretty bad...
- WNYH Reporter: What made you want to come and see the Globetrotters today, son?
- Boy: I came for the beer and the bitches.
- Lucifer: Everything's fine? Who are you bullshitting? The last time you said everything's fine, the Renaissance happened.
- Nicky: Can I wash my winky in your kitchen sinky?
- Peter: Drink up. Here's to fifty million clams.
- Adrian: To the defilement of Earth and the corruption of its people.
- Peter: Okay. Whatever. Just drink it.
- Adrian: It's awfully hot down here. How do you manage to stay so cool?
- John: Uh, beer lowers the body temperature. I read that in a beer magazine.
- Adrian: This liquid would probably quench my thirst, cool me off.
- Peter: Definitely.
- John: It'll give you a pretty good buzz.
- Adrian: Or maybe it will trap me inside for all of eternity.
- John: Uh... No, it won't.
- Nicky: So where did you meet Dad?
- Holly: It was a long time ago at this heaven/hell mixer.
- Christa: I remember that night. You had like four daiquiris.
- Adrian: I'm going to kill you with my bare hands.
- Nicky: I'm ready for ya'.
- [Adrian punches Nicky]
- Nicky: I guess I wasn't ready.
- Nicky: How can I win? Adrian is stronger and smarter than me.
- Holly: Stronger? Yes. Smarter? Definitely. But, you have something that he doesn't have.
- Nicky: A speech impediment?
- Valerie: Wanna blizm with my bliz blob?
- Cassius: That was sick. Who taught you that shit?
- Nicky: Sorry, Cassius. It must be the super devil juice my dad gave me.
- Cassius: Super devil juice? Gimme that, little girl!
- Nicky: Don't drink out of it, please!
- [Cassius gets sucked into the flask]
- Nicky: Adrian, you froze the fire gate, and dad is dying. So, get your booty back home or else!
- Adrian: You can't talk tough, Nicky. Even the voice inside your head has a speech impediment.
- Todd: [while making Nicky drown] Damn you, Kevin Spacey! You take all my parts!
- Chubbs: You mambo?
- Nicky: No, I don't think so.
- Chubbs: It's all in the hips, it's all in the hips, it's all in the hips...
- Deacon: The Lord loves you, and the Lord loves you.
- [to Nicky]
- Deacon: You make the Lord very nervous.
- Nicky: That's not me! That's that cockroach Tony Montana!
- Mr. Beefy: He superimposed your head into Scarface.
- Todd: Which is probably DePalma's third best film.
- Nicky: [after going to heaven] What is this? Is it Dad's birthday?
- Adrian: Welcome to the party! It's so nice to see you all here! I'm so proud of you. You've taken to sin with such minimal prompting. You're acting as if there is no heaven or hell. Well, I've got news for you.
- [Lifts cape up and turns into priest]
- Cardinal: There is most definitely a hell and you're all gonna go there when you die. Which is in about 15 minutes.
- Deacon: Holy shit! We really are gonna die!
- Jenna: That guy is still the biggest horndog.
- Lucifer: Off with the brassiere! The last time I saw a pair of jugs that big, two hillbillies were blowing on them.
- Human Dartboard: [following dialogue is from a deleted scene] How does he come up with that shit?
- Lucifer: Hey, you should catch my whole act.
- Gatekeeper: Okay, you know what? It's not coming off. I'm more than a pair of boobs and smile, okay? Until you realize that, it's your loss.
- Gary the Monster: Oooh.
- Gatekeeper: [to Gary] No, no, no. Actually, you're laughing.
- Lucifer: Hey, how about talking to me. Huh? Be nice. I'll give you a tire to play with.
- [This caught Gary's attention]
- Mom: Now *that* was some straight-up David Copperfield shit!
- Nicky: You want a pillow fight, do ya? Then let's let the feathers fly!
- Todd: I'm freaked out. My television just blew up.
- Nicky: You're damn right it did!... I mean, "really?"
- Todd: You know, this cake tastes kind of funny.
- John: Oh yeah, I dumped a fat sack of reefer into the mix. I thought I'd spice up the batch.
- Mr. Beefy: Really?
- Nicky: What's reefer?
- Mr. Beefy: About five hundred bucks an ounce.
- Peeper: Hi Diddley Dee, are those things for me?
- Holly: Oh. Angels don't get older, sweetie. I called him sweetie!
- [Holly and the angels laugh]
- Adrian: I bring you a dear sweet man, Mr. Henry Winkler!
- [audience cheering]
- Henry Winkler: Good evening.
- Adrian: Covered in bees!
- Nicky: [speaking in Korean to vendors] A thousand good mornings to you, my friends!
- Korean Vendor: [speaking to wife in Korean] You grab him, I'll punch him in the dick until he passes out.
- Korean Vendor: [repeatedly in Korean] Monster!
- Adrian: What time is my brother expected to arrive?
- John: Noon...
- [looks at the clock and sees that it's past noon, desperate]
- John: ... ish?
- Nicky: [after being told he needs to die] I'll just go to Heaven!
- Mr. Beefy: Not if you do something bad right before you die!
- Townie: Hey, Nicky. Cover Winkler in bees! You can do it!
- Nicky: [sees Winkler covered with bee stings] Sorry, Henry!
En savoir plus sur ce titre
