Merchants of Venus

Seeing Michael York holding a giant dildo (and I mean giant) on his first day's work at a sex toy factory had me laughing till my sides hurt. This is an edgy independent film and a very entertaining one. It's the first and only film I've ever seen that took me into the sex toy industry (realistically) and the Russian and Hispanic immigrants that work there (York plays a Russian). Beverly D' Angelo is classic as a porno actress who wields a whip and has a lisp! I've loaned it to my friends and they all all thought it was really funny too. I also love Erasure and they wrote the original music for the film and it's fantastic.

Wrapping a very flimsy plot around a sex toys distributor is what makes "A Dirty Little Business" somewhat different. Without that angle, this is a one star movie. Michael York is a Russian immigrant who borrows a million dollars from the Russian mafia to buy the factory. Throw in his naive romance with a porn star, Beverly D'Angelo as a dominatrix, and a cartoon like last third of the movie, and what you get is a disaster of a film. Things actually get worse minute by minute. Do not be mislead by the presence of Michael J. Pollard, as he is barely in the film, and only on a television screen. Is this a romance, a black comedy, a mob movie, or a slapstick farce? The answer is none of the above. It is just a mish mash of undeveloped ideas, and a bad movie to boot. - MERK

After knowing about this movie (at one point called "Good Vibrations") for about five years, I've just now finally been able to see it! I guess it's just recently been made available on Region 2 DVD after spending all this time on a shelf after being shown at a couple of film festivals.

I'd known about it for so long because of its connection to my favorite band Erasure. The band's keyboardist Vince Clarke scored the film and the band's singer Andy Bell made a brief appearance as a porn director. This is what initially triggered my interest, but it also sounded like it'd be a fun, cheeky romp of a comedy.

Alas, it was more "Could have been..." than "was." The idea of a sweet and naive Russian immigrant coming to America with a big dream only to land a job at a sex-toy factory and fall in love with a fading porn star was a winning idea for an off-beat romantic comedy. There are some great moments (certain "toys" being used as blunt weapons, the speech impediment of another fading porn star, and of course, Andy Bell's little checklist of shots he needs for his pornographic masterpiece). But as a whole, the film seems forced and hurried (heck, it's only 74 minutes long!). The main romantic plot unfolds too quickly to really be believable. And you really have to be on your toes to catch the reasoning behind the whole Russian mafia and FBI events that occur in the last act.

This film (titled "A Dirty Little Business" on my copy) seems like it was hastily thrown together, as if the writer/director gave up halfway through editing and said "Screw it, let's just release it as is." Had he and the other filmmakers taken more time to craft it and flesh it out, it could have been great. But I'm afraid the final result is simply mediocre.

But for Erasure fans, it's actually a nice little treat. The familiar trademark Clarke synthesizer beats, squiggles, chirps, and warm orchestrations are heard throughout the entire film, and there's even a bonus alternate version of a relatively recent Erasure track at the end credits. And it's an absolute riot for hardcore fans to see Andy Bell playing the porno director. There's just something very appropriate and right about it. Erasure and a comedy about the sex industry is indeed a perfect match. But I'm afraid if you're not an Erasure fan, you won't have as much fun with this one. It really was a winning idea, and I think it could have been done better had the filmmakers given it more of their time and attention.

I bought this on DVD for 2 quid (USD3) on a market simply because Beverly D'Angelo, a favourite of mine, and Prunella Gee, ex Bond Girl, were in it. I wasn't expecting much and wasn't disappointed in that respect.

It tries to deal with too much too quickly - immigrant labour in the USA, the sex toy industry, porn movies, odd relationships - it could have concentrated on any one of these for it's scanty 74 minutes with no problem. The result is a mish-mash with a sketchy plot that jumps about too much and leaves holes behind it.

Nevertheless, there are some wonderful cameos. Beverly D'Angelo as the short tongued dominatrix is hoot (God only knows what Mr. Pacino made of this!!). Brian Cox and his mate as the Russian Mafioso are also excellent as is Troy Donohue in a cameo as the FBI Agent who is a secret admirer and shoplifter. However, Michael York, about as British as you can get, is not a very convincing Russian. Good soundtrack by Erasure and I nearly fainted when I saw Andy Bell, my brother's Doppelganger, as the porn director.

So, worth 2 quid but no more. Amusing in its parts but disappointing as a whole.