Claudine's Return

this was a fairly confused film, that seemed to suffer from a failure of a sense of 'place'--at times i felt i was in hipster berlin, in some basement bordello, at times on a wild georgia coast. their was something odd and peculiar about the location, sets, and sexuality of the main characters, that i could never really put my finger on. nevertheless, Christina applegate turns in a surprisingly subtle, smart, and wry performance, the cinematography is LOVELY in the outdoor settings, and there are comic, as well as a few almost mystically beautiful moments. along with some very clunky and dumb ones. one gets the feeling the film is very much a MISS, but that their must have been something interesting underlying the story that never quite made it to the surface. atmospheric, Christina is great, but ultimately, only an interestingly, occasionally downright muddled misfire...

This movie was BORING! This movie did not have a good plot and was basically about an Italian admirer trying desperately to get back with Christina Appalgate after a lacklusting love affair. The fake accents were terrible and made Applegate as we knew her from her "Married with Children" days look pathetic in this slow moving film. Do not waste money on this one unless there is a pillow beside you and an alarm clock.

The main reason I'm posting this comment is point out that there are NO NUDE scenes featuring the femme fatal Christina app legate so if you mistook the R-rating,and the cover showing Appplegate pole-dancing as an implication that you're gonna see a "money shot" then do yourself a favor, don't make the same mistake I did when it first came out and don't bother renting it. Its actually a really depressing movie, so if you're into soppy love stories then you might enjoy it. The acting was OK, I suppose, but frankly the overall wasn't my cup of tea. There are, however, love scenes although about as soft-core as a soap opera. Is it just me or should they start labeling what you get to see in a movie and who you get to see it on right on the box next to the rating?

The reason you have not heard of this film is that no one saw it, and that is the way it should be. Applegate is almost decent, but the accent seems variable, and she doesn't transition us through her mood swings, which probably is more the fault of the director, editor, and writers than hers. Somehow I did not get why she was as nutso as she was. Just a spoiled little rich girl all twisted by unhappy events? Persons of modest strength survive the traumas of life, why couldn't Claudine? It was a bit like destroying your life with drugs and alcohol because someone had a better senior prom dress. Wasn't that Valerie Perrine in the end as the stepmom? Where was her credit? Did she decline one when she saw how bad the film was? If so, she showed marvelous taste.

This film has been repackaged as an erotic picture [retitled Kiss Of Fire] with a very racy cover that implies one will get more than a brief exposure to Miss Applegate's talents. Well forget it. This is an idiotic "drama" with no point, little plot, and amateurish camera work. Disney has added the tagline "An Erotic Journey Of Desire!" to a movie that is really just a crappy chick-flick!