Night Club

Even by the low rent standards of Crown International Pictures, NIGHT CLUB is an awful film. It's a long forgotten, zero budget, 1989 tale about a bickering young couple who buy an old warehouse and plan to turn it into a thriving nightclub, but they run into problems - financial and otherwise - along the way.

It amuses me that the IMDb defines this as 'action, comedy, drama' while my TV guide called it a horror. There's no action, horror, or comedy in it and the drama is limited to scenes of the whiny lead bitching about various trivialities. Viewers will quickly tire of Nicholas Hoppe's intensely irritating lead character which is off-putting in itself. 95% of the running time consists of characters sitting around in or fooling around in the abandoned warehouse while nothing happens to further the non-existent plot.

Occasionally a Tarantino-lookalike gangster comes into the fray, but to pad out the film for the most part there's a series of incessant sex and nude scenes. These are silly and dated looking in the extreme, and the cheesy music that plays during them (and elsewhere) helps to make this film feel incredibly dated. It really is a mess, and one of the worst I've seen.

A young couple struggle to set up a new night club based in an old warehouse. Unfortunately, they borrowed money from the mob in order to get the project moving, money the gangsters now want paid back with interest.

Sadly, this is a tedious, slow paced and excessively talky drama from b-movie purveyors Crown International Pictures. It's a very basic film indeed with the limited ambition and budget pretty seriously evident at all times. It seemed to consist primarily of scenes involving lead actor Nicholas Hoppe, who is a truly terrible actor. His annoying performance drives this one into the ground and you will be doing extremely well to be in the least bit bothered about what happens to him or his club. There's little in the way of thrills to be found here besides some gangsters threatening Hoppe's character and some not very interesting soft-core sex scenes. It was so tiresome that I glazed over towards the end and zoned out so completely that the next thing I noticed was the night club was up and running and events ending sweetly for Hoppe. So in my half-asleep state, I clearly must have missed some key action that got us to this happy conclusion. I can't help but feeling I didn't miss very much though and just accepted that it all must've ended well for Hoppe somehow – at least it ended well for someone because if you sit through this I daresay you'll not feel so clever by the conclusion.

This movie caused me considerable drama. I saw it donkey years ago, but had forgotten virtually everything, and the only clue was "dual personality Lisa/Beth" when I turned to I Need To Know for help last year. Thank you, Star-Core!

Movies by mad people for mad people. In that category, NIGHT CLUB scores highly. It is a highly effective showcase for the beauty of Elizabeth Kaitan who appears in a dual role.

Look, I am not saying it's a wonderful movie, don't get me wrong. But everybody else (except Mr. Woody Anders) is UNFAIRLY giving it the short end of the stick. This is a misunderstood movie with a misnomer of a title. It is actually a small-scale psychological thriller, with, of course, a good measure of exploitation thrown in. In the shape of Elizabeth Kaitan, who is simply adorably marvelous, and anybody saying any different is just sour-grapes envious. For Elizabeth is A+ 100% super-fine, a dream-girl straight from the Dream Factory, wow.

Look, it's an unlikely movie, and admittedly unseemly, but Elizabeth Kaitan is a contender for One Of The Prettiest Girls On Film EVER!

At first I thought "Shattered Glass" but this movie should have been called "Wildest Dreams" because this Nick guy is in limbo between wishful fantasy and a reality he can't keep up with. Which is why so many reviewers are irked by the wishy-washy male lead.

Don't dismiss it simply because you don't understand it. This guy's pretty wife left him, and as his only keepsake of her, he is left with a videotaped recording. Being a dreamer, he turns her in his mind to his ultimate fantasy girl, then, weak-willed as he is, gets delusional, and sees his dream become reality, only this dream is not meant for love, being totally devoid of loyalty. In other words, what you see as the movie here, most of this happens in Nick's mind, Nick is coo-coo and haunted by the memories of a lost love.

Well, that's my interpretation.

The movie has an escalating level of being explicit in regards to on-screen intimacy. The bare breasts getting pawed, must have been an afternoon's work to get it filmed. Imagine! Decades ago, I found it harrowing to watch. While a blue movie has no emotion, this one has it in spades. Makes it all the more controversial. Forget about Sharon Stone in BASIC INSTINCT. This one gets truly explicit. I've yet to see anything quite as hands-on like that scene in a mainstream movie...

...and anything similar in a blue movie would lack the impact it has here. Because of Elizabeth's acting, the girl is very real.

Summed up, this flick truly delivers to a flesh connoisseur's delight. Prime rib. Grade A. Succulent and juicy.

I damn well bought the DANGEROUS BABES box-set to get to this title, and believe me, there are SOME REAL STINKERS in that one, and then some people have the temerity to say that NIGHT CLUB is "the worst I've ever seen?" Elizabeth is a Grade A classy beauty, and I could watch rolls and rolls more. Do read Mr. Woody Anders's review again, those are the valid complaints, yes, the male lead* gives off a weak vibe.

*Then again, the male lead, Nick Hoppe, was THE DRIVING FORCE BEHIND THE ENTIRE PRODUCTION! This is his dream here, he got it filmed, and it led to the casting of this beautiful angel- faced girl... she is pure music......

.....people, I may be a fool, but I know what I like!

The Plot.

A young married couple try to convert an old warehouse into a nightclub, but face opposition from both the council and local mobsters.

The opening credits resemble a porno movie from the 80s. The look of the film is OK. the color pops. The blonde wife is do-able. and that's about where it ends.

The acting is horrible. Especially the blonde with the BJ lips. She is atrocious and must have gotten the role on the casting couch. That would have been a more worthwhile video to watch!

Within 2 minutes of the film she's having sex. Must have been to keep her mouth shut. She's THAT bad. The funniest thing is her bio on IMDb is gigantic only she hasn't worked since 1999 and a lot of her roles have been R rated T&A films or uncredited roles. Plus it actually makes mention of her first film being Waitress!

This is funny because it was an early Troma film and literally anyone who showed up got a part! I have a tone of friends who were in it. They did that it get buzz and fill seats. Joe Schmo tells you he's in the movie and you go see it! What joke this chick is.

The movie is horrendous with no real plot or scene of interest.

This movie is the closest I could find resembling anything close to The Room. Nicholas Hoppe wrote and stars in this movie which tells me that this was not just an idea for a movie but it was about a ex girlfriend who broke his heart for real!

Who hurt you Nicholas?!

I would recommend this movie for a weekend in the category of "Its so bad its good" films.

Its odd this film has heart, but only because the guy who wrote and stars in the movie seems to be re-accounting a former relationship he had in a psychotic way...