Allons-y les farceurs 2 1/2

...my main reason for adding this review is speculating on why so many of the more positive reviews mis-spell Sven Hassel's name in the same way ('Sven Hassle').

Seems legit...

EDIT:

Aaaaanyway, so this turned up on UK TV and I watched it again after a long interval.

Back story: I was an almost fanatical fan of the books in my teens. I tracked this film down on rental in about 1989 when I was about 16, rigged two VHS players up and made a copy.

Boy was I disappointed. The book it wasn't.

Watching it again after ~33-34 years, it's nowhere near as bad as I remembered. Sure, it's no Saving Private Ryan, but it does make a decent effort with an obviously microscopic budget, the tank scene is... spirited I suppose. David Carradine and Oliver Reed chew the scenery in a satisfactory way.

And despite what the other reviews say, it actually makes a fairly good stab at capturing the atmosphere and spirit of the book. Square-jawed German heroes these are not.

Finally, I note now that the actor that plays Sven was also the young blond Russian soldier in Cross of Iron, a thematically similar - albeit far superior - film.

A slightly surprised 6/10.

A very watchable low budget WWII action adventure in the same vein as Kelly's Hero's. You could say it's a cross between Kelly's Heros and the Dirty Dozen. It's a light-hearted adaptation of a Sven Hassle novel about a German penal tank crew sent to the Russian Front. On their return they are sent on a mission to destroy a train behind enemy lines with the promise of retirement if their mission is successful. The tone is one of anti-war and anti-nazism, with the laid back crew pushing insubordination to the limits. The movie has a good cast and characters. David Carradine is superb as the nazi Col. Von Weisshage; and indeed one of the things that make it enjoyable is that all the actors seem to be enjoying their roles. The other thing that makes it enjoyable is the solid humour that keeps a steady pace.

For almost two years I successfully resisted renting this movie. That resistance was certainly aided by the cheap looking case of the video, and the fact that director Gordon Hessler is known (if at all) in the US only for a trio of cheap, British, AIP horror flicks, "Scream and Scream Again" being marginally the most watchable of the lot. But the desire to see what Hessler and his mostly American TV actor cast would do with such material, and the need for relief from a recent diet of "serious" indie film viewing, pushed me over the edge to spend the whole one dollar rental fee. Obviously "the Misfit Brigade" is no masterpiece, but it was far better than I expected, and, as others have pointed out, occasionally rises to the level of pretty damn good. I loved, for instance, the sequence in which the misfits watch a Soviet propaganda film projected on a large screen across the front line. I don't know if this ever happened, and if it did, I doubt he films would have had the big studio production values of the one presented. The bordello sequence was also funny, and reminded me of the humor in some of the better Italian westerns. There was also the occasional visually striking shot. I particularly liked the long tracking shot that begins on a Russian peasant coming to a road, then follows a Russian military vehicle through the gates of a compound, then swoops up on a crane to the roof, where a German soldier is observing the vehicle. Then, in subtitled Russian, someone yells, "There's a Kraut on the roof," and we cut to a shot of the rest of the misfits (some distance away) as we here automatic weapons' fire on the soundtrack. This is damn good sequence. I've read in his mini biography here on Imdb, that Hessler worked for Hitchcock's TV unit at Universal before directing features. This long tracking shot is certainly similar to one of Hitch's, and even shares a bit of the master's dark humor. But, OK, this film is not art. It is somewhat choppy (at least in the U.S. video version), and the low budget shows in some of the action sequences. Still, it's a fun little movie if one can accept its limitations. Even David Carradine seems to be enjoying his minor role as an uptight German officer. Oliver Reed is not on screen very long as a pompous German general who arrives at the end of the film to decorate the misfit heros. I cannot agree that his attitude during the air raid which follows detracts from the film's "realism." This is all slapstick anyway, which accounts for the film's final cut, before some graphic violence would have betrayed it's lighthearted mood.

Well it isn´t quite Saving Private Ryan, but that is no surprise I guess. However, the fact that I watched Spielbergs masterpiece, only a few weeks before I layed my eyes on this rather unknown WW2 movie, have contributed greatly to my sense of what you have the right to expect. So bear that in mind when you read the rest of this gibberish.

"Wheels of Terror" or "The Misfit Brigade"(The most suitable title if you ask me) is based on the books by Sven Hazel about a group of "criminal elements" in a german penal regiment. The books are entertaining and highly recommendable, so I had high hopes for this movie. It kicks of in 1943 with "our" platoon returning from the battle of Stalingrad, in a tank that is as post-war as the media you are reading this through. Well I can´t avoid mentioning just a few more flaws:

The russians speak russian as they should, however the germans speak english.

Try to picture this: You are a german commander. You have two tank destroyers in a good hulldown position. In your binoculars you see some T34´s approaching your position. What seems to be the right thing to do?

A. Wait until the T34´s are within, a you can´t miss kindda range, and then destroy ´em.

B. Order your tank destroyers to move forward, in an attempt to outmanoeuver the extremely fast and turreted T34´s.

A few minutes into the battle a T34 crushes your command vehicle beneath its tracks. What is your initial reaction?

A. Disbelief.

B. Disbelief and a feeling that maybe you shouldn´t have driven your green american Jeep onto the battlefield anyhow.

Well now try to picture this: You are a general in the german army standing in a german camp in russia. Suddenly eight russian planes start strafing the area. What would you do?

A. Try to find some cover ASAP.

B. Walk over to a slow, unarmed recon-plane and complain that there is no pilot to get you the hell out of there.

If you feel deep in your heart that B,B and B are the right answers, then you will probaly regard this, as one of the most realistic war movies ever made.

Please don´t think that this is an all bad movie. The dialogue and portrayal of the soldiers in the platoon are caught spot on and stays true to the books. Especially the performance of Jay O. Sander as "Tiny", the big dum demolition "expert", is worth mentioning.

Watch this if you liked the books or are a big fan of war movies. 5/10

This film is far from perfect, though I'm overall quite glad I saw it. It's basically THE DIRTY DOZEN if the protagonists were all Germans serving on the Eastern Front. Sound interested? Well I was hooked right away.

The main strength to the film is the characterization. The three central characters are fleshed out pretty well and the interplay between them rings quite true. There's plenty of action sequences involving tanks, planes, and a fair amount of explosions but overall they're quite hindered by the low budget.

Problems here include a lot of confusing moments, character decisions, and anachronisms. For one, we're introduced to the heroes at the beginning of the film driving a soviet post-ww2 T-62 tank! Later they're seen manning two SU-122 tank destroyers, which were also soviet, but the film wants us to believe are STUG-III's which look nothing alike. Also, the heroes (a penal battalion) often speak irreverently of Nazis and SS, but the costuming department outfitted them with Totenkopf SS emblems on their uniforms.

However I must give credit to proper firearms. The uniforms overall look quite good though I wonder what a Russian 1939 early war hat would be doing on the front line in 1943/44. The Russian T-34/85's are quite authentic though with a lot of additions they wouldn't have had on in WW2. Overall the tank-fighting scenes are quite poorly done, though somewhat realistic in showing that tanking is a very cooperation-based profession.

Overall, this is a movie that will only appeal to WW2 buffs. It's a pseudo-comedy but it isn't really that funny, per-say. It's an action movie too, but isn't particularly bloody or violent either.