Balboa

I look at this, and wonder as a movie, what was the point? If a rauchier Dynasty and Dallas collided, we would get Balboa, as it is alternatively known, it's bold cover, showing a bold beautiful woman, generating much interest, under it's bold title font. It's R certificate here, lies mostly in it's flamboyant nudity, and there's nothing wrong with a couple of t..ties, a tame R considering, if stacked up against that sleazy B movie, New York Nights, 2 years later. Many of you are gonna be disappointed. Balboa is basically about the fat cats, who live and sail, on this beautiful marina of lavish houses, who score the beautiful women half their age, wanting security and beautiful things. Tony Curtis, a playboy, who has a beautiful woman, who I've seen in other films, as his lover is legit, she really loves him, yet Curtis, deep down, is a really nasty and spiteful character, you just to hate. In one whole sense, he's reprehensible, profiteering, from a gambling scam. An old lover, Lynley really hasn't moved on from him, but now is bedding cutie, stud mayor (Kanaly, Fleshburn, Dallas), a David Carradine sounding actor, the good guy, intent on bringing Curtis down, in a none too satisfying ending. Characters cross paths, through passion, power, bed swapping, and we have a sexy middle aged narattor-ess, to add some spice, to this somewhat bland pic, up. I do quite like this movie, as I have seen it a few times. Some of the unconvincing acting of course, invokes laughter. Sonny Bono's scenes are well appreciated, a classic laugh riot, priceless, and then we have, over the top acting from the great Chuck Connors, which I also appreciated. The films pumping theme, by Leo Sayer is just what suits this, and I do like the song itself. But Curtis is such a cynical, stubborn idiot, not just for letting such a tasty, deliciously beautiful philly go, and she is ravishingly beautiful. If best, the film educates you on how greed, can have such damaging effects. Some actors overacting, nudity, fights, face slaps, beautiful woman, veiled threats, frank ones, account for 96 minutes, a lot of you, will want to try and get back.

My review was written in June 1986 after watching the show on Vestron video cassette.

"Balboa" is a poor man's version of the popular nighttime soap operas such as "Dallas" and "Dynasty".

Feature had a checkered history: bearing a 1982 copyright date, it was produced in lengthy form as a proposed tv series aimed at cable tv, replete with nudity and four-letter words. In post-production, project was edited down to feature length, with handsome British actress Martine Beswicke (a/k/a Beswick) filmed in new shots as on-screen narrator to bridge plot gaps. Item was acquired by Jensen Farley Pictures but never released theatrically when that firm went bankrupt, surfacing instead as a home video entry.

Suffering from extremely cliched dialog, "Balboa" bears a simpleminded plot concerning cras entrepreneur Ernie Stoddard's efforts to bring legalized gambling to California on Goat Island in the chic Balboa district. His foes believe Stoddard had a former partner killed before taking up with the partner's wife Erin Blakely (Carol Lynley), who has since split with Stoddard (though still carrying a torch for him) and become involved romantically with local councilman Sam Cole (guest star Steve Kanaly, a regular from "Dallas").

Cole opposes Stoddard's attempts to get hi gambling plan approved by having crony Joy Eastland (Joy Brent), a former brother madam, appointed to the building commission. Also conspiring against Stoddard are Cindy Dern (Catherine Campbell), whose grandpa (Henry Jones) had his business foreclosed by Stoddard. Angie Stoddard (Cassandra Peterson a/k/a tv horror host Elvira), the baddie's ex-wife and Lance Armstrong (David Young), an opportunist Feature is short on action, concentrating on lots of chatty talk involving threats, blackmail and mucho exposition. Nudity is delivered by various bit players, as well as Stoddard's main squeeze, a vapid but beautiful model played by Jennifer Chase. One surprise touch has hardcore porn superstar Kay Parker showing up in one scene that has a senator (Russell Nype) dallying with her, suitable for blackmail by Stoddard.

True to form, nasty Stoddard outwits everyone and emerges victorious, but at film's end, Beswicke voices over further adventures in store, featuring Chase with a new cast.

Filmmaker James Polakof directs in perfunctory fashion, with an underwhelming cast. At best, the thesps approach camp level, particularly Lupita Ferrer as a fiery Latin screen star trying to make a comeback in a film produced by the improbably named Alabama Dern (played friskily by Chuck Connors). Acting by Tony Curtis (as Stoddard), Sonny Bono and Cassandra Peterson is mildly embarrassing.

Locations and lovely homes are pretty to look at, but not much is happening within them..