Amour fantôme

"Ghost" did this kind of story better.

Of course, comparing "Ghost" to "Ghosts Can't Do It" is like comparing a banquet line to a compost heap.

As much as I like a good Bo Derek nude scene (for all the umpteen times I've seen them), here they're all just so... and I can't believe I'm saying this... BORING.

Yes, you heard me.

She gets naked, yes. She dances seductively in what John Derek must have thought was a clever variation on the same type of dance scene in "Flashdance". She strips down to nothing on the beach. Dips down into a hot tub, sans clothes. And blah blah blah....

But she just stands there. Yes, she stood there in her other movies, too. But it was the WAY she stood there that got to you, if you know what I mean, guys. Yeah, sure you do.

And let's not even get into what Anthony Quinn, Julie Newmar and Donald Trump are doing in a movie where everyone is more interested in seeing how Bo is going to get naked in the next scene.

Oh, I'm sure John had his own ideas of making Bo the next Helen Hayes (snicker, snicker...), save for one big difference: BO CAN NOT ACT. Nudity. Standing around with her mouth partially open. If that were all acting were, then yes, Bo would already be the next Helen Hayes.

But here in the real world....

One star. Even I was bored by this one, and that's not easy to do with me. I'd give this one no stars but darn it, Bo, when you look at me with your mouth partially open....

The Dereks did seem to struggle to find rolls for Bo after "10".

I used to work for a marine park in the Florida Keys. One day, the script for "Ghosts Can't Do It" was circulating among the trainers in the "fish house" where food was prepared for the dolphins. There was one scene where a -dolphin- supposedly propositions Bo (or Bo the dolphin), asking to "go make eggs." Reading the script, we -lauuughed-...

We did not end up doing any portion of this movie at our facility, although our dolphins -were- in "The Big Blue!"

This must have been very close to the end of Anthony Quinn's life. I hope he had fun in this film, as it certainly didn't do anything for his legacy.

With a Bo Derek movie, the audience get just what they expect. A paper thin plot and a few shots of Mrs. Derek in no clothes. 'Ghosts can't do it' is just that. The first fifteen minutes is ordinary TV drama, as long as Scott [Anthony Quinn] is still alive. He is a very good actor with long experience in a lot of different roles, but it seems as even a famous actor need to work just for money sometimes. Bo Derek is the opposite, always playing a strikingly handsome young woman with or without clothes. The movie is a complete waste of time. If you want to see Quinn, rent Lawrence of Arabia or La Strada. If you want to see nude women or bad acting, rent any porno movie.

I've now watched all four Bo Derek vehicles directed by her husband, John; all are quite terrible, of course, but this is certainly the pits. Featuring the usual flimsy plot, bad scripting – by the director, naturally – and acting, not to mention gratuitous nudity by the star, it deals with her losing much older husband Anthony Quinn (she accepts his shotgun suicide by saying he had always admired Hemingway!!) but who continues to appear and talk to her. In fact, he wants to come back in another, younger body…but actually does so only in the very last scene! Derek is lovely as always, and still playing naïve(!) – especially during a muddled mid-section which has her pursued by a hired killer at a spa. Quinn, too, is typically larger-than-life (read: hammy) here, but this easily constitutes his nadir; besides, for much of the duration, he acts from behind a piece of shiny plastic (presumably suggesting his being in some sort of limbo)! His 'replacement', then, is obviously a handsome-looking stud who hasn't a lick of talent or even personality. Also featured in the cast are Hollywood veterans Don Murray (as Quinn's best friend and Bo's business consultant) and Julie Newmar (as Quinn's guardian angel in the afterlife) – plus a surprising cameo appearance by billionaire Donald Trump (who presumably needed this on his resume')! It also goes without saying that John Derek was his own cinematographer on the film, that the end credits are filled with useless (and corny) expressions of gratitude to the many people who lent a helping hand, and that GHOSTS CAN'T DO IT swept the board at the 1990 Razzie Awards!

Scott (Anthony Quinn) and Katie (Bo Derek) are happily married living on a remote ranch. Scott suffers a heart attack and cannot get it up anymore. In despair, he commits suicide by gunshot. He finds himself in an empty purgatory and able to communicate only with Katie. They work for him to possess men who have sex with her.

This deserves every Golden Razzie it won. The only shame of this is that it taints the legacy of Anthony Quinn by turning him into a talking floating head. He's not romantic. He comes off as a sex-obsessed controlling dirty old man. Bo Derek is never a good actress. This one has walking around talking to herself. She makes her naked body less attractive. I imagine this is what real life with the Dereks look like. It's a lot bickering where sex is reduced to an ugly transaction. This is simply the worst.