Le charpentier

This movie is a classic horror movie in Norway. It's intensely scary yet sensitive. With the ever so talented Wing Hauser as the crazed carpenter, though it's special effects are rather outdated. But it's complex plot and intensely scary music more than makes up for it.

They just don't make them like this anymore. An instant classic.

10 out of 10. BRAVO

Released from hospital after a nervous breakdown, Alice Jarett (Lynne Adams) moves into a country house with her philandering husband Martin (Pierre Lenoir), who has employed a team of workmen to renovate the property. At night, after the workmen have gone home and as Martin sleeps (having taken tranqs), Alice hears noises and investigates, discovering a lone carpenter (played by straight-to-video star Wings Hauser) hard at work. The genial craftsman befriends the flaky housewife, and becomes her guardian angel, using his handy array of power-tools to take care of those who mean to do her harm. It eventually transpires that Alice's new friend is the ghost of Ed, the man who originally built their home, and who was executed in the electric chair after killing those who tried to repossess his property.

I first saw The Carpenter in the wee hours at an all-night horror festival and struggled to stay focused thanks to the film's rather slow pace. But even with me wide awake this time around, the languorous approach still made this one drag quite a bit. As the carpenter with a screw loose (pun intended), Hauser absolutely nails it (pun also intended), being both charismatic and menacing, and there are a couple of reasonably bloody death scenes, but for much of the time I was bored (bored... board... geddit? OK, I was struggling with that one!).

Yeah, yeah, I know. Buying "The Carpenter" was all my fault, and I shouldn't have harbored the expectations that I did. I accept that. I'm not trying to blame anyone else for my misguided foul-ups. I do reserve the right, however, to curse the studio and all it represents for the various cinematic disappointments that are simply inexcusable.

The movie seemed interesting enough to me. A mysterious carpenter continues to appear in the, quote, "delirious dead of night," gruesomely eliminating any man or woman that causes the house owner grief. Yeah, yeah, great stuff.

The movie delivered, but only on certain levels. Yes, the carpenter showed up. And yes, the night always seemed slightly delirious. And you know what? There were even a number of original, if uninspired, death scenes. Great, great stuff.

Upon closer inspection, however, several glaring mistakes made themselves all too real.

Firstly, what's the deal with Wings Hauser? You've got one of the greatest character actors ever to grace the screen, and you waste his talent in such a visually lusterless role? Yeah yeah, I know. Wings Hauser sucks. Character actor? He's hardly an actor. The point I'm trying to make is that he needed to be dressed like a ghoul to make this flick a little more aesthetically appealing.

Secondly, and perhaps decisively, there's no nudity. I'm sorry, what? That's right, no nudity. There are two or three women in the film, but none strip down like they're supposed to. Several times we're offered some sort of teaser, but they never amount to anything. The very element that could have made this film is completely ignored, and "Carpenter" suffers for it.

Because of these simple mistakes, "The Carpenter" dawdles more in the twisted-romantic-drama genre and less in ceaseless, mind-numbing, bad horror like it was meant to. Sad. Very sad.

Ah well. Rent it anyway. It seems that if I can get other people to watch this crap, my life seems less desperate and lonely.

"The Carpenter" is not likely to win many fans from the guts and gore crowd. The carpentry tool killings are so over the top, that they are only going to hold interest for admirers of "black comedy". Throw in at least average acting, a story with some originality for a change, and of course a deranged Wings Hauser. Since my girlfriend didn't leave the room and kept watching, even after arms were being cut off with a circular saw, I can confirm a certain romantic angle that I didn't see coming. Without the presence of Wings, this is completely forgettable. Wings fans will not be disappointed. In good conscience I cannot recommend this as a date movie, but I do recommend "The Carpenter" as a good dark comedy. - MERK

Wouldn't it be so much cooler if John Carpenter had directed this movie? Then the box of the VHS could loudly announce "John Carpenter's … The Carpenter"! And also, it probably would have been a much better film if John directed it… "The Carpenter" is a rather weak and laughable 80's slasher movie that desperately tries to add in some deeper psychological themes, but fails. It centers on a beautiful, thirty-something housewife that just got released from a period in a mental institution because she cut up her husband's business suits for no apparent reason. They move into a new countryside house that still needs a lot of renovation and Alice stays indoors whilst her husband cheats on her with a hot blond chick. Meanwhile Alice falls in love with the reincarnation of carpenter Ed (portrayed by 80's stud Wings Hauser). Ed is an old-fashioned workaholic who died in the electric chair 40 years earlier after he went a little berserk and killed some people that didn't allow him to finish his work. Together, Alice and Ed butcher a couple of lazy handymen and talk about dancing. How adorable! It's a pretty ridiculous film overall, with too much talking and only a couple of demented murder scenes to make up for it. The killings are similar to the ones in the 'video-nasty' cult classic "The Toolbox Murders" (a nail gun, a bench vice…) but not nearly as gross or memorable. I always thought Wings Hauser is a bit of an idiot and didn't really like him in this role, neither. His tedious speeches about how "handy-work is holy" are implausible and not exactly terrifying. The climax is just plain retarded.