Pembalasan Ratu Pantai Selatan

Well, maybe the Addams Family. Completely, utterly whacked-out combination of cheese, sleaze, gore, sex, blood, explosions, shootouts, hot Asian chicks, mullet-headed stoners driving armored cars, inane dialog, brainless disco songs, guns that never run out of ammunition--all the things that make life worthwhile. Not as polished as your average Hong Kong martial arts / vampire / sorcerer flick, but with just as much if not more energy and sense of fun, intentional or otherwise. An Indonesian evil spirit called the South Seas Queen possesses the body (and not a bad one at that, judging by her frequent and, thankfully, gratuitous nudity) of an attractive Caucasian anthropologist in order to carry out a curse she placed on the great-granddaughter of one of her lovers from 100 years previously, and the possessed hottie, "The Lady Terminator", wipes out half of Jakarta to get at her. No one in their right mind watches movies like this for their story, acting, or comments on the human condition. You watch them to see a lot of shootouts, hot chicks, explosions, hot chicks, gore, hot naked chicks, stupid dialog and hot chicks who get naked while reciting stupid dialog, and this movie delivers all that in spades. "Good" and "bad" don't apply to films like this; they're beyond that kind of simplistic labeling. What they should be judged on is, do they deliver what they promise? And "Lady Terminator" certainly does that and more. You gotta see this one.

Long before Kristanna Loken played the T-X in T3, the beautiful Barbara Anne Constable starred as an indestructible female killing machine in Lady Terminator, a hilariously inept Indonesian rip-off of James Cameron's sci-fi classic The Terminator.

The film begins with the South Sea Queen having sex with a guy with big hair, before chewing off his tackle with her snatch, asking 'Is there any man who can satisfy me?'. Her next conquest, her 100th husband, isn't about to let the queen take his manhood, pulling the source of the queen's power—a snake—from between her legs, and banishing her to the sea. Before the waves swallow up her castle, the queen swears vengeance on the man's great grand-daughter.

A century later, and the spirit of the South Sea Queen possesses sexy anthropology student Tania (the beautiful Barbara Anne Constable) by magically inserting a snake up her chuff; she then proceeds to carry out her threat, hunting down aspiring pop singer Erica (Claudia Angelique Rademaker), descendant of the man who betrayed her.

From hereon-in, Lady Terminator consists of cheap but very bloody carbon copies of The Terminator's most iconic scenes, with a nightclub shootout (but only after Erica has sung a dreadful song in its entirety), an assault on a police station (with lots and lots of juicy squibs, including bloody shots to the crotch), and the Lady Terminator performing surgery on herself, removing her eyeball to run it under a tap, before popping it back in.

All of this is executed with very little technical prowess but lots of gusto, making the film a blast for fans of cheap, foreign exploitation. More violent than Cameron's film, with the added bonus of lots of nudity courtesy of sexy Barbara Anne Constable, and a memorable turn from Adam Stardust as gung-ho cop Snake, who sports one of cinema's most impressive mullets, this is trashy z-grade fun from start to finish.

"Lady Terminator" is seriously funny stuff. Because it is not played for laughs, it is really hilarious, with it's staccato dubbing. "I'm not a lady, I'm an Anthropologist". The plot is absolutely bananas, and trying to describe it would be futile. Think of it as a series of almost unrelated scenes, that somehow work on their own. The film oozes with excitement, even if none of it makes any sense. The photography is glitzy, the stunts in many cases burn up ridiculous plastic models, and the policeman hero looks like a Kier Dullea clone. None of this matters however, because you might die laughing watching this terrible movie masterpiece. - MERK

Lady Terminator (1989)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Indonesian rip-off of the James Cameron has a sea goddess using her "female parts" to cut off "male parts" but one brave man stands up to her, pulls the snake out of her vagina, which then turns into a knife and kills her. She swears vengeance on his great, great granddaughter. Flash-forward one hundred years and the unstoppable killing machine will stop at nothing to get the woman.

LADY TERMINATOR is a really, really awful movie on so many levels but thankfully it's so incredibly nuts that you can't help but have a great time with it. If you're looking for a more quality type of film then this here certainly isn't going to be your cup of tea because everything here is pretty bad from some insane dialogue to the laughable story and lets not even get into some of the various issues with the actual ripping off of the Cameron movie.

It's interesting to note just how much here is actually ripped off. I mean, not only do we get lines like "Come with me if you want to live" but entire sequences are ripped off from the Cameron movie. It's clear that the filmmakers here didn't care and that their end result seemed to be just making sure this movie was more violent than Cameron's. The action scenes here contain all sorts of gunfire and explosions but the amount of blood on display is just great fun for those who enjoy such things. One simple bullet leads to a gallon of blood being sprayed. Not only that but we get some of the weirdest sex scenes that lead to various men's body parts being removed.

If you're looking for great performances then you had better look elsewhere. With that said, Barbara Anne Constable plays the villain and she's actually quite good in the part. Not to mention she offers up a lot of nude scenes to add to the exploitation and we all know that this here is never a bad thing. The dialogue itself is beyond awful and it too gets a lot of laughs. LADY TERMINATOR isn't a movie that was made to win Oscars. It's a crazy, non-stop violent and downright silly rip-off that manages to be quite entertaining.

As the title suggests, Lady Terminator takes influence from the eighties classic 'The Terminator'. Successful American films often get cheap rip off versions made, but what is surprising about this one is just how much it shamelessly steals from James Cameron's famous film. It's not just the central premise - the thievery even goes down to whole scenes being taken and even certain mannerisms of the leading character! Still...considering the quality of this film, I can't see James Cameron caring too much about it! Lady Terminator really is a terrible film; but it's also great fun for all the same reasons. The build up to the Terminator-style plot takes influence from any number of films in which powerful people come back to haunt later generations of a certain family. In this case it's the Sea Queen; a woman who uses an eel to brutally kill any man who can't satisfy her. When one man thwarts her, she swears vengeance on his great granddaughter. Enter Tania Wilson: an Anthropology student who stumbles on the old lair of the Sea Queen while doing research and comes back as an unstoppable female in a leather jacket!

Lady Terminator really is pure trash, but at least its entertaining trash and there's certainly no shortage of gun fights, car chases and gory deaths. Pretty much everything in the film comes off as being stupid; nothing more so than Barbara Anne Constable in the lead role. She looks quite cool walking round in her leather jacket and trousers; but the image of her with a machine gun blasting everyone Arnie style is hard not to giggle at. There's some great dialogue in the film, and every now and again there's a little exchange or event that is sure to make the right kind of people erupt with laughter. There's also a fair amount of sex thrown into the mix too; though it seems to be clear that the director wanted to focus more on the action. It won't be hard to guess where the plot is going for anyone who has seen The Terminator; but that's not a big problem as where the plot is going isn't half as important as how it's getting there. The final ten minutes are a real blast, and the last thing that Lady Terminator rips off The Terminator is the best! Overall, this is definitely stupid crap - but its awesome stupid crap and comes recommended to the right kind of people!