The Visitants

WOW. I saw Visitants for the first time when I found it in the dark recesses of a video store clearance sale. It surely had never been rented, since it was a film by Rick Sloane, the maker of HOBGOBLINS! Any self-respecting MSTie (fan of Mystery Science Theatre 3000)will know what I mean.

This movie seems to be Sloane's "other" opus. It has some of the same actors as Hobgoblins but the same quality, or even worse, if that is imaginable. The "plot is about a "boy" (who looks 37, fighting away his neighbors, who are "gasp" aliens! He fails some science classes in "High School" and thats about it. The sets are goofy, the makeup wacky and the acting funny in it's delivery. This is totally the greatest "bad movie" ever, and it is almost too much to bear all at once. Beware... for The Visitaants!

Rick Sloane may well be remembered for MST3Ks bashing of Hobgoblins, but this movie, The Visitants is... worse. In Hobgoblins, at least things happen. In The Visitants, all that happens is your brain antrophies. I should elaborate - nothing happens. Almost the entire plot revolves some characterless high school guy nicking a gun (from the dollar-bin at wall-mart) from his next door neighbours who are aliens, and them wanting it back. The only time someone fires is, someone off-camera holds a red filter in front of the light-bulb. Acting? Hah! The school science teacher is played by the same old guy who played the security guard in hobgoblins out-acts the rest of the cast put together. The only other thing I can say about this movie is during once scene in the locker rooms, passers-by in the background try to gatecrash the set and a fight breaks out with the security guard. God... I need to go out an get air. This movie stinks....

This is a real gem from writer/director Rick Sloane who wrote and directed Hobgoblins and the six-part Vice Academy series. Sloane is a B-Movie wizard who made quality 35mm films for little money. Visitants was first released during 1989 and far outshines earlier genre exploitation films by Roger Corman. I guess plot matters but an inane premise mixed with zippy dialogue in this sci-fi comedy will put many smiles on your face. Some sets were originally constructed for a Michael Jackson music video and add good production value. If you just want some good old fashion fun entertainment, then I highly recommend searching for this rare treat. As of November 2005, it had not been released on DVD.