Le Justicier contre la Reine des Crocodiles

... ever! (I always wanted to write that:) Many years ago (in 1993 as I recall it) one of my former classmates persuaded me to watch what he called "a epic masterpiece". To this day it stands out to me as the worst movie I have ever seen. The acting, the story, the effects - everything is bad. Unless you are one of these people who just loves to appreciate trash, you should pass on this. However chances are that since you are reading this, you've already seen it.

Out of almost 500 movies this is the only non-short I've given a 1/10.

I haven't seen any other low-budget Asian warrior flicks, so I guess there's even worse things out there! Scary...

:P

Not as entertaining as the Warrior movies, this is still worth looking for. This time there is no evil Dutch Imperialists, but instead we get a Crocodile Queen in a pastel plastic cave, surrounded by her harem of cannibal sex slaves. As usual there is loads of martial arts, magic, and one and a half hour of memorable quotes. Oh, and the Devil Sword, the magical weapon who turns the owner into an invincible half God, or something like that. Yes, this is one trashy Indonesian movie, but it is still more entertaining than any Hollywood comedy. Did I mention the gory fights, the deadly parasol, the flying rock or the stone-headed cyclops?

Recommended.

There was a time back in the early 80's when sword and sorcery action flicks were all the rage. The Devil's Sword is part of that phenomenon. But, in truth, it is probably unlike most you may have seen. It's more similar to the Japanese series Monkey than Conan the Barbarian at times. This is partially due to the hokey special effects but just as much to its East Asian origins. Really, its Indonesian flavour is what makes it most interesting. It's exotic and bizarre in ways that are a result of the culture that produced it. For any fan of weird cinema from around the globe, this makes it quite fascinating.

It's about a nymphomaniac crocodile queen who lives in a cavern under the earth. She sends out her evil minions to capture men, whom she puts to use as sex slaves. The wife of one of these 'unfortunate' men teams up with a warrior and together they set out on a quest to find a magic sword that will help them defeat the forces of evil.

This film is quite simply insane. Its chock full of action, which consists of lots of fights and lots of gore. There are crocodile men, a Cyclops, a laughing man travelling on a flying rock and cannibal slaves. It features a couple of extended fights involving a trio of evil warriors. They all have their own individual skills and weaponry – one is a granny with a brush and another appears to have a helmet on a piece of rope. It's that kind of film. It's utterly delirious.

There exist only two types of conditions and circumstances under which I'm willing to watch a movie like "The Devil's Sword", and that's either together with a group of friends completely intoxicated by alcohol or other (slightly more illegal) drugs OR at a special type of themed festival in a ramshackle theater surrounded by a crowed of equally over-enthusiast genre fanatics! In this case, it was option number two, as the Belgian Off-Screen festival scheduled a crazy Indonesian 80s double-feature with "Lady Terminator" and this "The Devil's Sword". Now I already knew that the former was guaranteed entertainment; a completely bonkers and shameless "The Terminator" rip-off starring an unknown beauty (Barbara Anne Constable) as the reincarnation of a mythical Indonesian sea-queen on a relentless killing spree. I didn't know anything about "The Devil's Sword" yet, but the plot description and still looked equally amusing. Like "Lady Terminator", the film is also based on national heritage (legends, comic books…) but still grabs every possible opportunity to blatantly imitate the biggest Hollywood blockbusters. They really must have worshiped Arnold Swarzenegger in Indonesia back then because here the main inspiration comes from the Fantasy/Sword & Sorcery classic "Conan the Barbarian". The story is senseless and I won't bother too much to summarize, just keep in mind the following key words: atrocious acting, laughable dubbing, silly crocodile costumes, flying rocks, badly choreographed swashbuckling and chopped off heads. However, in sheer contrast to "Lady Terminator", which is truly a masterpiece in its own and very secluded league, "The Devil's Sword" quickly gets dull, repetitive and uninteresting. Around halfway through the film, I really had difficulties staying awake and even the cheerful crowd had tempered down. The long and tedious samurai/swashbuckling fights are supposed to cover up that the plot is weak and substantially void, but that naturally only works for about half an hour. Therefore the first 30 minutes are hilarious, with a crazily yelling freaks flying down a mountain on a piece of rock, only to interrupt a small town's wedding, claim that the husband is property of the subterranean Crocodile Queen and then subsequently slaughter the entire community. The only person that fights back more or less decently is the bride, whereas the broom cowardly hides behind his father-in-law. 5/10. Half of the points because I was entertained for about half of the film.

The most interesting part of the night was actually the introduction. For these two screenings, the festival's organization had invited one of the founders of the Mondo Macabro DVD-label that specializes in fancily releasing this type of globally neglected cinematic trash. This person, and I sadly forgot his name, shared a couple of lovely trivia facts with the audience. For example, Barbara Anne Constable was furious when she discovered via her 14- year-old daughter that "Lady Terminator" was released by the DVD label, because she hoped that the movie would never be shown outside of Indonesia. Another story was about the lead star of "The Devil's Sword", Barry Prima, who was quite a big star in Indonesia during the 1980s, but allegedly hated acting and particularly loathed the films he starred in. During an interview with the label, he stated that he only came to the interview to see the idiots that want to put the rubbish that were his films on DVD.

This is quite simply one of the most fun movies I've ever seen. A riot of colorful craziness from start to finish. And Barry Prima is one of the best action heroes of the 80's - bar none.

If you like films with more than a touch of the wild, the weird and the wonderful, then this one is for you.

The newly released DVD is a real revelation for those who've only seen this film in cut full screen VHS versions. Anamorphic widescreen, with colors that leap off the screen. It's a beaut.

The extras include a rare interview (the only one I've ever seen) with the afore mentioned Mr Prima, who comes across as just about as crazy as the films he starred in.

You owe it to yourself to check this one out. You won't be sorry.