Gunan il guerriero

While at the video store a while back, my friend and I stumbled across this gem. And man, is it terrible. This is probably the worst movie I've ever seen, but it's so darn funny.

As you can see from the other user comments posted, this movie is chock full of awful stuff. Obviously, the English dub is horrible, but it's to be expected from a film of this ilk. Even worse are the endless voice-overs at the beginning and ending of the movie. The action scene's are some of the funniest you'll ever see, given that they're all done entirely in slow motion (Watch for the crushing "death blow" Gunan gives at one point where he simply slaps his foe across the back with his sword).

My friend and I believe that the film had to have been directed by two different people, given the drastically different first and second halves of the movie. In the first half, we see the competition between Gunan and his brother to see who is the most "invincible" of the barbarians. Suddenly, the movie turns into Lenne running around topless for the rest of the film, with some strange subplot about a tribe of female warriors which turns into the main battle scene and climax and whatever other garbage the "second" director wanted to toss in. You be the judge.

This movie had me perplexed at first. You'd think the script was written by a 9 year-old boy in the 70's. The writer, who was 61 years old at the time, managed to re-create a generic fantasy that was at least partly shared by every heterosexual preadolescent male nearing adolescence (6-9 year-olds) on Earth.

Don't you remember playing with your buddies and you did a jump? That jump meant something. That jump told everyone that you meant business and you were a terrible force to reckon with. That's why Gunan is always running and jumping and every single jump is in slow motion with epic music playing. That's how boys play make-believe. Actually, that's also how kittens and puppies play make-believe as well.

Do you remember how you imagined things on some nights? You were forced to touch the beautiful girl, or she was forced to touch you. You may have struggled and resisted, but you were so glad it happened. How long is the scene where Gunan and the girl holding hands and walking? It felt like 10 straight minutes. No dialog, just dreamy music while the two walked through a meadow holding hands and smiling. That was practically porn when you were 7 and you know it.

Watch it one more time, and try to remember... I can't remember ever seeing a movie that came so close to mirroring how we played make-believe as young boys. It's a shame that people missed the genius of it.

"Gunan Il Guerriero" is typical picture you see in your video store and think "well, what the hell could be that?" Italy is very known for copying sucessful ideas and well-known films and making awful and stupid sub-products like this but, at last "Gunan" is the kind of film you can laugh and laugh with their actors(?, actresses (?!) and FX (!!): Gunan and his brother (called Gunan, too) are two stone-faces, Gunan´s girlfriend character is only for be nude everytime and fights are... are... well, you must see it for understanding. I have no words.

When twins survive the Ungat horde raid on Solmen and are brought up the Kuniats, as adults they compete to become Zukahn, an invincible warrior prophesied to free the land from Ungats. However, when things go awry Gunan takes on the formidable enemy himself.

The Invincible Barbarian or Gunan il guerriero is one of the first Italian Conan the Barbarian cash-ins. Director Francesco Prosper's outing suffers from all the shortfalls that many of the Italian low budget film at the time, ungainly sound design, camera work, editing and staging. Prosper's overuse of slow motion and other speeds really hampers the film further, along with the countless long and medium shots. That said, there is a handful of memorable visuals, including a beach filled with a tribe of Amazon women and a spacious fire lit cave.

Written by Piero Regnoli there plenty of slashing and sword action, however, it's plodding Roberto Pregadio's heavy handed music does inject energy into the picture. The real locations offer atmosphere and grit. The craftsmanship on the production, from the sets to weapons and costumes are well produced.

Lead Pietro Torrisi looks the part as Zukahn / Gunan, in fact uncannily he looks just like He-Man if he walked out of a frame of drawn celluloid. Top billed Malisa Longo's Marga who gets more dialogue than you can shake a stick at. Emilio Messina's Nuriak is menacing enough. Sabrina Siani as Lenni who steals the third act. Siani is undressed as the script dictates but she has screen presence. Uncomfortable rape scene aside, Siani injects some much needed life into the proceedings but is sadly underused with no real action scenes, aside from a torture device escape.

Ultimately, it not as watchable as Ator, the Fighting Eagle is a (1982), both Torrisi and Siani presence isn't enough to cement this a must see (but don't fret they both get another stab at the swords and sandals sub-genre in The Throne of Fire, Il trono di fuoco (1983)).

Sometime during the 80s, did someone market a computer program that spits out scripts for barbarian movies at random? This one is exceptionally bad (plastic weapons bend during fight scenes, fight scenes look like pro-wrestling matches, plus a load of stock footage mixed in), but I had to give it a 6, fans of the "horribly bad" movie genre will get a kick out of it.