Terror in the Jungle

As a fan of really trashy films, I absolutely loved the first part of Terror in the Jungle, which introduces a wonderfully eclectic selection of ridiculous stereotypes flying down to Rio but destined to never arrive at their destination. Among those on board the doomed flight: irritating blonde kid Henry Clayton Jr. (Jimmy Angle) and his cuddly toy tiger, an acquitted murderess making off with her dead husband's cash, a buxom aspiring starlet, a trio of pop-stars with very silly hair, a wealthy businessman, a caring stewardess, and a pair of nuns escorting their dead colleague, whose coffin will soon become an important plot device. It's like the beginning of classic disaster spoof Airplane, but without a shred of irony.

As they pass over the Amazon basin, the passengers are in good spirits thanks to the Beatles-esque group entertaining with a rendition of their hit song 'Soft Lips', while the aspiring actress gyrates in the aisle to the groovy tune. However, disaster strikes when the plane inexplicably begins to lose fuel. The passengers are forced to throw any unnecessary baggage out of the door (an exercise that sees one of the nuns accidentally falling to her death) but this course of action doesn't prevent the need for an emergency landing. The plane ditches into the Amazon. Those who survive the crash leap from the wreckage into the river, where they are immediately devoured by crocodiles! Only the irritating kid survives, set afloat in the dead nun's coffin shortly before the plane explodes. So far, so hugely entertaining! Unfortunately, after the plane crashes and burns, so does the film.

With all of the interesting characters killed off by the impact, the crocs, or the explosion, the rest of the film is really dull, the action now centred around the kid, whose incessant whimpering really grates on the nerves. Arriving unscathed at the river bank, the young lad wanders through the undergrowth until he is discovered by a tribe of Indians who believe him to be the son of their god INTI, on account of his blonde hair (a fact emphasised by a terrible 'golden aura' special effect). Meanwhile, rescuers searching for survivors of the crash find the boy's life-jacket hanging from a branch and report their findings. The lad's worried father rushes to the site to help with the search, but will he locate his son before one of the tribesmen, who isn't convinced by the child's status as a deity, can convince the other villagers to stop pampering the insufferable brat and sacrifice him instead?

This jungle-bound nonsense is handled with zero style by Andrew Janczak, who took over when original director Tom DeSimone wisely abandoned ship. A pathetic piranha attack, a dismal dance routine (helmed by a third director, Alex Graton), and a mind-bogglingly strange moment where the boy's cuddly toy transforms into a real animal to protect him from the evil Indian who wants him dead, all fail to inject any fun into proceedings. In fact, it's hard to believe that a film that is so entertaining in the first act can wind up being so boring.

8/10 for everything pre-jungle; 0/10 for the rest. That's an average of 4 out of 10, minus one point for that irritating kid.

If there's anything worse than this movie I don't want to see it. I remember so many amazing things--a nun dropped out of a coffin to make a raft for a little blond boy; the little blond boy himself adored as a god; lots of stock footage of Peru as an ideal vacation spot. Shining Path and Alberto Fujimori should blast away any notion that Peru is a vacation paradise. The whole thing is so awful that Plan 9 or even Robot Monster is an aesthetic treat by comparison. This film should be bombed and strafed and bombed again.

Bad acting all around. Bad script. Bad music. Bad editing. Bad special effects. Bad Continuity. Little Henry is off to be with Mom, but the airplane doesn't make it. Also on board are a rock band (with their terrible wigs), and a few oddball characters. After accidentally pushing a nun out of the airplane, it crashes. Some searchers find where the boy landed. Then we spend a crazy long time on a couple lovely floor shows by the native savages. Some of the villagers and some of the dancers are quite light skinned, which makes one wonder how they could be so white, while the rest of their tribe is so dark. It's all too hokey for words. and the final 15 minutes just go all over the place. Actually filmed in Peru, if one can believe the credits. We make it to the end, but just barely. It's all so terrible. but it got made. Skip this one.... showing on Epix channel.

Terror in the Jungle is a real find. If you saw it, you're one of the few lucky ones. It's hilarious!

The story is about an airplane crashing in the middle of the south American jungle. The crash scene has to be seen to be believed. Everyone dies in the crash or they're subsequently eaten alive by crocodiles. Only a young blonde boy survives. A nearby tribes brings the kid to their village and they (seemingly all males) venerate him because of his golden hair! I kid you NOT! At the end, there's a lot of wrestling between the natives and the man on the search for any survivors of the downed airplane. All the while, the kid sits on a throne and his blond hair is surrounded by a golden halo and he cries nonstop!! It's a hoot!!!

Very obscure and contains very questionable subtexts. A must if you're into obscure, it's-so-bad-it's-good movies.

OK, now it's my turn to weigh in on this disaster. I'm the director who's credited with this fiasco but in my defense I have to explain that there were three directors on this film and we all suffered under a producer with no experience, no taste, no sense and worst of all, NO MONEY. I was fresh out of film school working as an editor when I was introduced to him when he was looking for a director. I convinced him I could handle a feature having already won two awards at film festivals for two shorts I had done. This was the biggest mistake in my life. Once on, for a mere $50 a day, I realized what I had gotten into. He hired a bunch of non-SAG actors who actually PAID HIM to be in his movie. None had any experience in front of a camera and all the characters were his creation. I was stuck in that plane mock-up for two weeks with these desperate souls trying to create something from nothing. The script was only half written when we started and he said he would finish it when we got to the jungle. When we completed the plane interiors, including the now famous "crash" scene, the rough cut was 83 minutes long and we hadn't even reached the jungle part of the story.

I told him we had to make some serious trims, both for time and for performances. He refused to cut anything. He was so in love with the crap we had he actually once said he believed that the actress playing the stewardess would win an Oscar for her scream scene in the fire. I knew I was doomed. We argued over and over about what I felt should be dropped, trimmed and eliminated until I had it. I walked from the production and that wonderful salary.

Undaunted, he went to Peru and used the cameraman as the replacement director. Down there they wrote the second half of the script and shot it as he wrote it. Back in LA they now had a bigger disaster, naturally. The film was way too long, badly shot, badly acted and unwatchable. He and this second director fought, as did I, and he then walked away as well. Now the producer was over a barrel. He had sunk what little money he borrowed and still believed he had a hit on his hands if he could just get it finished. He hired a third guy to come in and fix the problem. This genius hired a bunch of extras, put bad wigs on them and went to Griffith park in LA and shot more crap that was even more laughable than what they got in Peru. After that the producer shopped around for stock footage of native ceremonies and came up with some god-awful crap from a 40's schlock film and cut it in... the final disaster is what's on screen. I've lived in shame my entire career because for some reason I always get the credit for making this turkey. I was one of three victims! The entire debacle was the brain child of the producer and none of us had a chance in hell to make it any better than it was doomed to be from the start.

And that's the truth.