The Terrornauts

1967's "The Terrornauts" proved too ambitious for an Amicus budget, topping a dismal double bill with the only slightly better "They Came From Beyond Space," box office duds to ensure no further outer space adventures were forthcoming. The John Brunner script was adapted from Murray Leinster's 1960 novel "The Wailing Asteroid," the outline following Universal's "This Island Earth" of aliens securing aid from Earth to fight an interstellar battle that will save their galaxy. Hoping to learn something about other beings in the universe has been a lifelong ambition for Dr. Joe Burke (Simon Oates), ever since he received a curious cube as a child that inspired a dream of a world with two suns. The skeptical leader of Project Star Talk (Max Adrian) tires of their finances being drained away without results, allowing only three more months to discover concrete evidence from their intricate radio telescope. Immediately, a signal reaches them from a small asteroid repeating like an SOS call, prompting Burke to put together a transmitter to send an answer to the mysterious messenger, resulting in a ship arriving to transfer Burke and four others to the asteroid center manned by a lone robot (looking suspiciously like a rejected version of one of Dr. Who's Daleks). Various tests meant to confirm the visitors' intelligence and good intentions allow for them to decipher the secret behind the messages, an enemy force set not only to destroy the asteroid but also the planet Earth. Universal provided an adequate budget to bring "This Island Earth" to vivid life (even though the climactic view of the alien world is all too brief), but for this film Amicus started out with a decent script with a pitifully small budget that renders every action sequence downright laughable. The wires are clearly visible during space flight, the miniatures too obvious, the entire cast uninvolved, and one scene where Zena Marshall's exotic scientist is captured for a human sacrifice ends so swiftly and abruptly that it must have been done strictly to promise a colorful poster (reminding one of Cy Roth's inept "Fire Maidens of Outer Space"). A rather sad finale for 41 year old Zena Marshall, best remembered as the very first Bond Girl to bed Sean Connery's 007 in 1962's "Dr. No."

Amicus were a well-known film company during the 1960s and 1970s who made a number of anthology horrors that continue to be well-regarded amongst fans. It transpires that they tried their hand at a number of other genre efforts during that time-frame too, including this ultra-low-budget sci-fi effort.

Sadly, THE TERRORNAUTS turns out to be one of the cheapest and silliest British science fiction films ever made. It has good pedigree; after all, Amicus is behind it, and their DR TERROR'S HOUSE OF HORRORS, made 3 years previously, is still one of my all-time favourites. This film is based on a novel by the one-time hugely popular Murray Leinster, and has a script by respected sci-fi writer John Brunner. What could go wrong? Er, everything, as it happens. This is a cheapo production with wobbly sets and production values which are far below par. It actually looks cheaper than the episodes of DR WHO that they were shooting at the same time. The basic storyline sees a group of astronomers getting involved with a planned alien invasion, but the outer-space special effects look like something you'd see in THE CLANGERS. It's hardly the stuff to give George Lucas nightmares.

The cast turns up a few faces of interest, most notably Charles Hawtrey and Patricia Hayes who make up a kind of comic double act to comment on the action. Despite the limitations of his acting style, Hawtrey is the best thing in this - well, him and the beautiful actress Zena Marshall, one-time Bond girl (in DR NO) and now reduced to making this nonsense. Unfortunately, the male leads are resolutely dull.

I still laugh even now when I think about the Robby the Robot rip-off that rolls and wobbles all over the place as well as the dodgy explosive effects and the green-skinned aliens who look like they're wearing bath rugs on their heads. As an unintentional comedy, THE TERRORNAUTS is a lot of fun, just as fun as all those dodgy sci-fi B-movies that got made during the 1950s. But as a proper film it's a real mess.

At first one is confronted by the "Poe's Law" dilemma: Is this a really bad film or is it a really good parody of a bad film?

The answer is neither - this is not a bad science fiction movie, it is a really good adventure for young children. Suddenly the simplistic dialog, comic relief and low budget make sense. This film is contemporary with the second incarnation of Doctor Who (Patrick Troughton) and has many similarities with children's TV programmes of that era. The dialog and scientific explanations have that restricted vocabulary and easy to understand structure one associates with Blue Peter, Rainbow etc. Elizabeth Lutyens' cut down wind and percussion score is reminiscent of the Clangers, Noggin the Nog etc. The characters are one dimensional stereotypes: the mean boss, the handsome hero. his loyal workmate, cockney cleaning lady and fussy accountant. There is also the attractive female but there is no sex or even mild love interest here - that's strictly for grown ups - who are not the target audience for this film.

The special effects are awful and the story is silly. The dialogue sometimes sounds like it was written for radio (when Sandy disappears before their very eyes constantly asking "where is she?" seems a bit pointless). My favourite bit - which even 1960's kids would roll their eyes at - is where the hero has to drop his pencil to demonstrate that despite being in space they still have gravity - as though that wouldn't otherwise be apparent.

So, not a parody, not a bad "B" movie, not a contender for MST3K, just a good space adventure for 9 year olds.

Sci-Fi and horror movies don't often win Academy Awards, but that's not necessarily the fault of the films themselves but merely due to the fact there aren't sufficient categories! If, for example, there existed an Oscar for the coolest movie title, it would guaranteed be won by a horror or Sci-Fi flick almost every year! "The Terrornauts" definitely would have deserved the Oscar for coolest title back in 1967, that's for certain, even though it's a completely irrelevant title. There isn't much "terror" here and the main characters arguably don't even qualify as "astronauts" either. Then again who needs the Academy Awards; because I've never seen an Oscar winning film that provided me with so much entertainment and chuckles than "The Terrornauts". Thus far I always assumed that "First Men in the Moon" (Nathan Juran – 1964) was the cheesiest and most pleasantly deranged Sci-Fi movie to hail from England, but that was before I discovered this even crazier and more imaginative little accomplishment from the Amicus Studios. It's practically impossible to describe the plot of "The Terrornauts", but I'll give it a try anyways. Dr. Joe Burke, along with his girlfriend Sandy and co- worker Ben, is running operation Star Talk. His mission is to intercept radio signals from outer space in order to prove the existence of other intelligent life forms. He's devoted to his job because, as a child, he once had a vivid dream about being on a planet where he could breathe normally. But since his project is unsuccessful for the past four years and quite expensive at the same time, a grumpy government official now informs Dr. Burke that the project will be terminated in three months. But then suddenly Dr. Burke receives signals, hallelujah! He responds to them and, before they properly understand what is going on, their entire laboratory is sucked out of its fundaments and into a massive space ship! The crew, including the talkative coffee lady and a nerdy financial auditor sent by the government, is hosted by a tacky robot and forced to participate in hallucinating experiments. They also stumble upon a portal that leads them directly to – oh yes – the planet that Dr. Burke dreamed about as a child! Do I really need to re-emphasize that "The Terrornauts" is downright awesome?!? Whoever wrote the script of this movie was permanently high on excellent drugs and the team in charge of the special effects and costume designs must have been even crazier! At a certain point in the film the group runs into a flamboyant monster with tentacles on its head and one giant eye on the lower left side, whilst on the planet our heroine is chased by green-faced aliens that want to ritually sacrifice her. The warfare during the climax (I'm not even entirely sure against whom…) looks like it could have formed the inspiration for the legendary "Space Invaders" video game and the very last sequences, featuring a French gendarme, are simply priceless.

Back in the late '60s and early '70s, Amicus was a fairly solid and respectable production studio in the shadows of the almighty Hammer Studios. They released several great anthology horror films starring British horror regulars such as Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee ("Asylum", "Tales from the Crypt", "Torture Garden"), as well as fantasy/Sci-Fi flicks ("Dr. Who and the Daleks", "At the Earth's Core"). "The Terrornauts" is a bit of an outcast in their overall repertoire, but definitely a gem for avid cult fanatics to seek out and enjoy!

"The Terrornauts" is on the edge of being an awful film, were it not for its slightly suggested comic approach. If you listen carefully to the music cue accompanying the main title sequence, it gives you a hint of what to expect. Classic composer Elisabeth Lutyens' score has airs of (sinister) children games and charades, and I am only guessing that is what the movie must have inspired her, with its cartoonish models of space ships, props which are riddles, pastel sets of a military base (with test cubicles and a control room) and the acting by vaudeville buffoons as Charles Hawtrey, Patricia Hayes and even Max Adrian as the "villain" who is against the space program led by Simon Oates. The program aims to find signs of life in outer space, following a hunch Oates has since childhood, when he had a visionary dream. Unfortunately, the script is loaded with dialogues, explanations and debates within closed sets, and little action. Even for children and adolescents "The Terrornauts" is too verbose, making its running time seem much longer than its 73 minutes.