Hell on Wheels

This film is not to be confused with "Hells Angels on Wheels," "Hot Rods to Hell," or "From Hell It Came." It is also not to be confused with entertainment.

Country singer Marty Robbins plays a character named Marty Robbins. He drives stock cars, and, of course, sings. His mechanic-brother is played by John Ashley. While Robbins is getting all the glory for winning the races, Ashley is getting ticked off. Also, Ashley's girl, played by former child actress Gigi Perreau, seems to like Robbins, which doesn't help the situation.

Enter two sleazebags, played by Robert Foulk and Frank Gerstle. They hire Ashley to soup up some cars, but Ashley doesn't have any idea what he's getting into (like signing the contract to play this part). Robbins has another brother, played by future California congressman Robert Dornan. Dornan is a government agent, and is trying to break up a local moonshining operation. What the hell is this, Li'l Abner? Anyway, guess which sleazebags are running the operation?

In the anti-climax, Ashley races against Robbins, then finds out about Foulk and Gerstle. Robbins and Ashley are snatched, but manage to get away, while the bad guys don't. Then Robbins sings a song about a butterfly.

The film is too long and contains way too many dull songs. On the other hand, if you like John Philip Sousa, you'll be thrilled; several of his marches are played before and after the races. Unfortunately, in between, we have to watch the races.

This is just a crazy movie, with some of the weirdest casting ever. The woman playing Robbins' mother has blue hair. Ashley, as usual, looks like he needs a laxative. But at least we don't have to hear him sing. His 50's haircut is out of place, although his widow's peak/ducktail does seem under control for a change. Robbins is okay as an actor, and he really drove stock cars, so this might be the only person who was cast appropriately. Perreau doesn't have much to do except cheer and try to put up with Ashley's moping. I can't get a handle on Dornan. He doesn't show any emotion, which is in stark contrast to his fiery demeanor as a congressman. He does get to carry a gun and blow up some stills, so this prepared him well to be a co-host of CNN's now defunct Crossfire. Foulk and Gerstle are a Mutt and Jeff pair; Foulk towers over everyone, and wears a beat up shirt. Gerstle, for a change, actually wears a suit that fits his fire hydrant frame; the orangutan look was getting a bit old. In an unintentionally hilarious bit, Marvin Miller plays a race track announcer. In one sequence, his hat disappears, (cut to the track), then jacket (cut to the track). I fast-forwarded before the pants came off.

This has to be the most boring, uninteresting, and stupid race car movie ever made. I mean usually in these really junky "B" films you can generally get a laugh or two out of the stupid dialog. However, in this case, there is nothing even to chuckle at.

Marty Robbins is a nice enough guy and a decent singer and from what I gather a good racer. However, his abilities are wasted and lost in this boring stinker. I was passing out from the long, drawn-out, races. I mean it's slightly "neat" in the beginning to see the old style 60s stock cars, but there's just nothing to get excited about.

Hell on Wheels is a hell to watch!

Hell On Wheels is a movie that combines the early days of NASCAR racing, moonshine, and country western music. You know that you are in for a treat!

The film stars Marty Robbinson, who plays himself, and the film is essentially a show boat for his racing ability and musical talent.

They try to make things interesting by including a plot about his jealous brother doing work for some moonshiners who fund his own racer so he can beat his brother.

And his other brother is a member of the US Tobacco and Alcohol Tax Division, who helps shut down stilleries.

Essentially, the movie in itself, loses it's flow with all the long and drawn out racing scenes with little interest, really bad country music, and it drives home Uncle Sams propaganda machine by reputedly stating that "Remember: Moonshine Kills"

It's a lousy movie, but it has it's camp value, and definitely worth watching with a bunch of friends for the lone purpose of having a good laugh.

THINGS TO WATCH OUT FOR: Here are some things I found infinitely amusing about the film: 1.) Watch out in the second big racing scene, there is a cowboy in a red shirt and black hat. Very funny to watch.

2.) The little girl at the end, as Marty sings to her, she picks her nose right on camera.

HELL ON WHEELS is undoubtedly one of the worst 'racing' B-movies in existence. It's supposed to be some dramatic brother vs. brother thriller set in the world of stock car racing, but all the viewer gets is endless grainy footage of repetitive and boring races - it could be stock footage for all I know, as it sure looks like it - padded out with singing numbers from star Marty Robbins and others.

Still, I suppose I should have expected no better given that Crown International Pictures put this one out, and they did make dog after dog after all. One of the stars is the ever-youthful John Ashley, shortly to depart US shores to carve a new niche as exploitation star in the Philippines, and who can blame him on the strength of this? Even those MAD DOCTOR OF BLOOD ISLAND type films were better than this...

I don't like race car driving, especially in a circle, but this 1967 movie is great. The star is Marty Robbins. He is a wonderful singer who in addition to his many country hits even had a giant Rock & Roll hit in 1956, "A White Sport Coat." Connie Smith also sings, and she was then the number one female singer in Country Music. In the 60's and 70's she had many hits, including one, "Once a Day", which was number one on the Billboard charts for eight weeks making it the biggest hit recording in all of the history of Country Music ever recorded by a female singer. In the mid 60's she had three number one (on the Billboard charts) record albums. She is the best female singer ever recorded.

Also, appearing in this movie is the Stoneman Family, a bluegrass country folk band, who were even popular with San Franciscans at the Winterland Auditorium. Together they sold many millions of record albums and CDs. This movie's villains are old, wimpy, and are so vastly outnumbered by the good guys that the atmosphere is relaxed. The movie is an excuse to show the wonderful singing and music.

This is the last real movie of long time child star Gigi Perreau. Also, it stars Bob Dornan in one of his last movies. He went on to politics being elected to Congress from California for many years, and he got the nickname B-1 Bob, for promoting the B-1 Bomber. Contrary to someone's comment there is no nose picking in this movie. See this movie for the singing and music.