Barbe-bleue

This tale told largely in flashbacks is pretty bad, but there is some very funny black humor too ! Richard Burton in the title role literally walks through appearing anguished in 99% of his scenes. What the Burtons wouldn't take on during their marriage to keep the $$$ rolling in ! On his honeymoon night with latest wife Anne, played by Joey Heatherton, Burton's Baron von Sepper fails to rise to the occassion. In flashbacks, his tales of murderous endeavor with previous wives unfold. Most of the beautiful European actresses in this movie merely pose looking beautiful. One exception is Virna Lisi who can't stop singing, so the Baron must off her to keep his sanity. Raquel Welch is another wife, a former convent nun named Sister Magadalena who constantly modifies both her nun's habit and appearance during the weeks that the Baron is courting her. By the time that the Baron is ready to pop the question to her, her habit is low cut and thigh high! Magadalena begins to confess her past indiscretions 1 by 1. By the time she is on her 76th peccadillo, the Baron can take no more and entombs her alive ! Otherwise the film is both dull and has terrible dialogue. Heatherton mutters things like, " I spit on you my darling ". The continuity runs like a badly dubbed Mexican horror flick. It's no wonder that the careers of those involved stalled..........

It's almost impossible to find the words to describe exactly how bad this film is. Or to describe how much fun it was to watch. Bluebeard is the story of a German Baron (Richard Burton) who has a, well, blue beard. When Joey Heatherington finds out that he has killed a series of wives and hidden the bodies she realizes that she is next. In attempt to delay the inevitable she gets the Baron to tell his story. What follows is a primer in how not to pick a girl.

The dialogue is phony, the accents are terrible but the women are all beautiful and (at least partially) disrobed. Maybe not the intent but this movie is a great example of a 1970's campy sex movie.

Sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.

Austrian aristocrat Kurt Von Sepper (Richard Burton) is a celebrated WWI pilot with a striking blue beard and connections to the fledgling neo-Nazis. He's a real ladykiller. He meets and marries American vaudeville performer Anne (Joey Heatherton). After moving into his castle, she makes disturbing discoveries including his seeming inability to consummate their marriage. He gives her the keys to the castle with a golden key which leads to a freezer filled with his murdered former wives. He recounts to her the story of each wive and their faults which led to him murdering them. Anne plots her escape as she listens to his tales of horror.

This is sold as an erotic thriller with an international cast of beauties such as Raquel Welch. Joey Heatherton has a sincere bouncy cuteness which fits the sincere vaudeville role. However, she is not the best of actresses. She has to be both inwardly horrified and outwardly placating the crazed killer. Her inconsistencies only add to the camp of this movie. Richard Burton is still a powerful actor but the material is strictly B-level. There are some very memorable kill scenes like the elephant tusk chandelier and the hawk. The erotic thrills are fleeting and the horror is old style weak. Most of it is in flashbacks which takes away any intensity. It is still a memorable camp classic.

Forgive the 10 minutes or so of Richard Burton's (thankfully) sporadic organ playing. Instead, appreciate the plot (yes, this movie actually has one), dialog (especially the fast flying quips between the LUSCIOUS Joey Heatherton and Burton), acting (rather subdued for an Italian production), and production values of this rather well made film. There is no embarrassing zooming in and out with the camera, no corny sudden bursts of melodramatic music and barely any footage thst should have wound up on the cutting room floor. The women are portrayed across a broad spectrum: Strong willed, weak willed, not so bright and intelligent. Heatherton's attempt at analyzing Burton in order to stay alive is clever and well played out and the film has the usual ironic Italian ending.

This movie was basically awesome: consistently statuesque women, exquisite castles, campy acting, ridiculous script, plenty of nudity, six murders, Richard Burton, and a pervasive, Euro-style charm that made even the sleaziest moments really fun and laughable. We ended up getting this as a Sybil Danning/Raquel Welch fan, and were really blown over by the film's consistent campiness and general Eurosleaze greatness. As far as Eurotrash goes, "Bluebeard" is double platinum. This was a really big budget production, and a lot of money went into the art direction. That said, expect great looking costumes and sets, which often rival the women as overall cinematic eye candy. I have to mention the ladies again, because they are stunning. Listen to this cast: Raquel Welch, Sybil Danning, Joey Heatherton, Virna Lisi, Nathalie Delon, Karin Schubert...."Bluebeard" plays out like a virtual "Whos Who" of A-list 1970's bombshells. Anyway, the script is ludicrous and silly, as is Joey Heatherton's performance as the female lead, but Richard Burton does a terrific job holding everything together. Raquel Welch plays one of the murdered wives, (and a nun to boot), and she's in the film for about 10-min. Sybil Danning plays a prostitute, and she has a pretty dank lesbian scene, but her screen time is similarly brief. The film's mystery elements are pretty predictable, but the whole affair is campy and attractive enough for it not to matter much. It is a bit long, and there is a tasteless hunting scene where a range of animals are shot, but I can't discount how fun most of this was. A Eurosleaze classic. ---|--- Reviews by Flak Magnet