Bikini Beach

We red-blooded males who followed Annette Funicello's career from the time she was a nubile Mousketeer will be especially enamored of "Bikini Beach," a superior entry in the, admittedly, mediocre "Beach Party" series. For once, Annette gets to play smart, sexy and slightly dangerous, possessing more than a passing interest in sex. Gone, thank goodness, is her usual "Doris Day with mild PMS" persona. I have a strong suspicion this is closer to the "real" Annette, here. I certainly hope so. Even Annette's singing is very good. I wish AIP would've sprung for the bucks to give "Bikini" better choreography. Annette, a trained dancer would have impressed even more. Annette's swimsuit is even more revealing than usual, about as close to a bikini as "Papa Disney" would allow her to wear.

While the script, as usual, plays as if it were cribbed from the back of a cereal box, the gentle ribbing of British rock stars, modern art and drag racing are a welcome change from the usual "Beach Party" dross. Martha Hyer is along and provides some classy, mature-sexy glamor. "Bikini" even has a cameo by a very young Stevie Wonder. While Frankie Avalon won't win any acting awards, his alter-ego, "Potato Bug" is certainly a less annoying character than Mike Meyers' execrable "Austin Powers". Even Don Rickles is along, playing a character named "Big Drag," a gentle pun on Don "Big Daddy" Garlits, a well-known drag racer and auto customizer of the era. Too bad, Rickles doesn't get to cut lose with his usual wise guy humor. Guess AIP was too cheap to spring for that.

While no work of art, "Bikini Beach" is more than just watchable. It's actually, at times, enjoyable. I give "Bikini Beach" a weak "6".

More surfer wackiness from Frankie, Annette and the gang, with semi-regular Don Rickles and guest star Keenan Wynn showing up. Charming in its' way, it was cornball then and remains cornball now, though some of its' references fly over the heads of the youngsters who take the time to watch this today. Someone wrote this would be mediocre if released today. I beg to differ. This is a masterpiece compared to much of the dreck that is produced today.

It's a colorful southern California summer of 1964.

Frankie Avalon (as Frankie) hears nature calling him to Annette Funicello (as Dee Dee); but, she hears only wedding bells. In short order, the "Beach Party" gang goes ga-ga over popular English superstar Frankie Avalon (in a dual role, as "The Potato Bug"), arriving to fill out a romantic triangle for Mr. Avalon and Ms. Funicello. Newspaperman Keenan Wynn (as Harvey Huntington Honeywagon III) is also on hand; accompanied by his ape "Clyde" (Janos Prohaska); Mr. Wynn sets out to prove the "sexually preoccupied" teenagers are akin to monkeys. Adult beauty Martha Hyer (as Vivian Clements) thinks Avalon and company are just having a good time. Don Rickles (as Big Drag) and Harvey Lembeck (as Eric Von Zipper) help add drag racing and motorcycle fun.

Returning more to the initial entry's "Beach Party" formula makes "Bikini Beach" an improvement over the series' recent dip into "Muscle Beach Party". The script is relatively snappy, and amusing. "Clyde" and "Frieda" have a great scene together; for example, when "Clyde" plays with Rickles' bird, in the dragster's beer joint (strictly for kids, Rickles explains, as he serves only beer and soda). Avalon's dual role is nicely played; and it is a timely, welcome nod to the mid-sixties musical "British invasion". Funicello, with a decent amount of navel displayed, is always charming; however, the added hair was unnecessary. The regular "teenagers" are attractive, and Ms. Hyer performs exceptionally well.

Director William Asher uses bewitching wife Elizabeth Montgomery well; she reads the beginning of a newspaper article, and voices the French "Lady Bug". Despite the presence of Stevie Wonder, the Pyramids, and the Exciters; performing songs by the usual writers, the soundtrack is derivative, and unmemorable. Look for Gary Usher, Roger Christian, and Mike Nader among the "Beach Boys". Mr. Nader once told me he was in these movies, and now I see him.

****** Bikini Beach (7/22/64) William Asher ~ Frankie Avalon, Annette Funicello, Martha Hyer, Don Rickles

Annette Funicello is probably the most over-dressed beach bunny to ever hit the sands, but she's a stitch in her scenes with Frankie Avalon (as surfer Frankie) and pop-singer The Potato Bug (Avalon again, in a Beatle wig, funny teeth and English accent). Their repartee makes this a charming piece of Americana, but the thing is so stuck in a sterile time-capsule it's nearly impossible to believe that teenagers once got a charge from it. Drag-racing is the newest craze, and the beach gang gets shown up once Keenan Wynn puts a chimp successfully behind the wheel of a hot rod. For racing aficionados, we get a glimpse of the Mantra Ray, a $50,000 all-aluminum experimental "dream rod" with a King Cobra Ford engine. Annette poses prettily beside it... ** from ****

I'm sure with a bit of irony Frankie Avalon played dual roles in Bikini Beach. The first is his usual beach loving self and the second with blond wig page boy style is that of invading British rocker. Frankie would go on for years as actor and nightclub performer. But that quartet from Liverpool signaled he and his generation of performers of the Elvis era were passing into history.

Two people invade the beach space in this film. One is the Avalon alter ego, British rocker Potato Bug who makes a play for Annette Funicello. The other is Keenan Wynn who brings a chimpanzee to start a campaign that these beach kids and their music are as intelligent as his simian. Wynn is channeling his Alonzo Hawk character from his Disney films. Wynn enlists the really brain dead Harvey Lembeck and his motorcyclists to assist in turning the beach into a senior citizen retirement community.

Bikini Beach is so old that among the musical guests is listed Little Stevie Wonder. Everybody on the film looks like they're having a good time making it and they bring a nice infectious spirit to the proceedings.