September Storm

For a 3D movie with a giant shark on the poster, it's amazing how much time's wasted at a Spanish (i.e. Spain-set) nightclub, which includes an extremely drawn-out Flamenco dance. All viewed by the four main characters that consist of two important pairs...

The first begins the picture: An extremely perfect-looking young Spanish guy who pretends to own the yacht of a vacationing millionaire (his boss), and a pretty yet slightly aged American model who he's making up the lie for: They go diving when the other two check out the vessel...

Actor Mark Stevens usually preferred directing adventurous b-pictures. This one a treasure hunt with only one shark... made of what looks like Styrofoam. His partner is a joke-around rummy familiar in sea-set Neo Noirs, and it's goofy Robert Strauss playing this very goofy character, and an extremely creepy one too...

That only Anne, played by red-head in a red bikini Joanne Dru... once they're all board the yacht and set out after a cache of buried gold coins... is partially aware/suspicious of...

Meanwhile, she's shying away from gigolo Asher Dann (from New York but looking genuinely Spanish) and it takes Stevens' maverick Joe Balfour to get badly injured for her to fall in love... or at least like...

Stevens the Humphrey Bogart from AFRICAN QUEEN type of sweaty-chested scoundrel, but his character's pretty dull, leaving Strauss as sidekick Archie to keep refilling the comic relief, even through the titular storm that mostly occurs at night, and is hardly visible to the audience...

Then there are the usual treasure seeking double-crosses and 11th hour greed-driven mad-impulse. But SEPTEMBER STORM, while a pretty dull cinematic tempest, is pretty fantastic to look at... and feels, for better or worse, like hanging out under the early 1960's Technicolor sunshine.

I was very surprised to see the terrible reviews this film got on IMDb. I also saw this film at 6:00 a.m. on American Movie Classics and I was hooked from beginning to end. The whole movie just has a good feel to it and the underwater photography is gorgeous and at times, breathtaking. The shark attack may not have been "Jaws" material, but that's not the point of the movie. The acting was fine, regardless of what anyone says, and although it may not have been the most original movie ever, people need to just start enjoying movies for what they are. STOP ANALYZING MOVIES!! OR JUST DON'T WATCH THEM!!!! The movie has enough entertainment value to keep you interested and if for nothing else, see it for the underwater sequences. This movie is not half as bad as people make it out to be.

Pleasing skin-diving adventure, simple-minded but satisfying, has a young native of Majorca attempting to woo a pretty New York model with big talk of the boats he owns; turns out he's just the caretaker of the sailing vessels, and ends up stealing one for a three-week jaunt after two adventurers convince the couple that a million dollars' worth of gold coins went down with an African ship in the Mediterranean. Based on Steve Fisher's uncredited book "The Girl in the Red Bikini", the film (originally presented in CinemaScope and 3-D) allows Joanne Dru to let her hair down for once. Ofttimes cast as a frontier wife or nurse, Dru proves to be an attractive partner in the plan, even as male-female tensions aboard ship threaten to erupt. The action is slow in coming (a rather sleepy shark swims by twice, and a Portuguese Man of War stings Mark Stevens somewhere on his body), but the colorful locations and underwater photography make up for the lack of plot and wooden line-readings. ** from ****

Low-ish-budget adventure film from twentieth century fox. Sexy anne (joanne dru) and manuel (asher dann) meet up in majorca, and were doing okay. But along come treasure hunters joe and ernie and really louse things up. Eventually they all rent a boat to look for pirate gold, but so many set backs. Storms, lovers quarrels, jealousy and fighting. Even stinging jellyfish. Will they ever find the gold? Or will all the fighting keep them from ever getting to it? It's okay. Co-stars mark stevens, robert strauss. Stevens looks and sounds JUST like dean martin. Directed by byron haskin. He was nominated for FOUR oscars in the 1940s, and was given a technical achievement award in 1939.

Why, oh why do I waste my time watching 3rd run crap like this? I believed that this film was something worth watching at 6:00 a.m. on American Movie Classics, but boy, was I wrong! I'd have done better watching old reruns of "Let's Make a Deal." This film looks as if it were shot with a Brownie camera, the quality is so bad. It also resembles one of those old Italian sword and sandal jobs, with scenes switching back and forth for no reason. The film editor must've completed a correspondence course from the Rinky-Dink School of Film Editing. At least they could have asked Ivan Tors for a real shark during the underwater shark attack scene.

Mark Stevens looks sickly, Joanne Dru is OK, Robert Strauss is at his comic best, although he tries to play it straight, and Asher Dunn - he's cute. That's all.

MST3K - go for it. Everyone else - skip it. Especially at 6:00 a.m.